Monday, February 11, 2008, 08:44 AM - Random Thoughts
Thistle can travel outside my body, but he cannot fly as far as the Summerland. I was hoping that he could, but he cannot. In the spirit world, he is tethered to me by a shining filament of some sort. He flew as far as he could, but he could not reach my friend who died.
Still, I wish her well. I pray that she at least knows that I tried. Perhaps, in the life-to-come, I will see her again.
It is sunny today and when Thistle flew, he shone bright silver. I have energy. I am glad that he is my allied spirit even though his powers are limited.
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( 3 / 1190 )Sunday, February 10, 2008, 06:15 PM
I only knew her from Second Life, and I did not know her very long. But i can say that it was a privilidge to have known Jewellfire Ember. She had the kind of spirit that seemed to just shine. She was a loving person and made so many people happy. She played the flute. She was a young woman of faith.
She died last night at age 20 of a very aggressive brain tumor. Her life was just beginning. It just seems like a cosmic injustice of irreconcilable magnitude.
She was a Wiccan and now her spirit has crossed the Veil into the Summerland. The time of sickness and disease is finally over for her. I pray that she will have light, warmth, love, and compnionship in the Summerland.
I will remember her.
I miss her.
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( 3 / 1164 )Sunday, February 10, 2008, 11:08 AM
The funny thing about handbell choir is that my ringing station is next to three gigantic organ pipes. These pipes are about 30' tall and make the most delightful rumbling sound when played. I can feel little blasts of wind coming out of the pipes sometimes. The sound and vibration seems to really make Thistle happy. He likes the music service a lot and most of my ability to play hand bells comes from him. Nancy's closing processional today made those three pipes play a lot and it was quite delightful.
It's hard for Thistle to speak, so I guess his mind is more aligned with non-verbal things like music. It certainly makes him happy at least!
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( 3 / 1082 )Saturday, February 9, 2008, 05:19 PM
Doug and I did a day trip to New York and it was so much fun! We take a bus up and back since it's cheaper than trying to find parking and paying all the tolls. Today, we saw the American Museum of Folk Art and it was very informative. They had three full floors of Jewish art. It was really neat. There were a lot of Arcs of Torah and other religious art. There is a type of artform called a "papercut" where the artist designs intricate knot patters by cutting things out of paper and adhering it to a contrasting background. There was also a floor filled with carosel horses that were carved by Jewish craftsmen. It was really cool!
Then Doug and I saw "Curtains", a murder-mystery musical. It was funny and fast-paced. Basically, people get mowed down while trying to make a play called .Robin Hood of the Old West""
Now we're getting ready to eat dinner at a restaraunt that actually features a mechanical bull! How exciting!! The food was pretty good and I got to eat one of my favorite deserts -- bannanna pudding!
I wrote about a thousand words on Chapter 52 of "I, Construct" on the bus ride back. They also played some dreadful political drama movie at really high volume. UGH!
The only negative aspect today was that it is overcast AGAIN! I so desperately need some sunlight and I haven't been getting it.
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( 3 / 1172 )Friday, February 8, 2008, 03:32 PM
Well... tonight and Sunday I get to make a quick buck by selling cellular phones at a trade show. I don't mind doing it a *few* times per year, but I sure am glad it's not my actual job anymore. I mostly do it to help out my friend Larry, since it's hard to run a kiosk three days straight without assistance. And, of course, the $10/hour is always welcome. I figure that I can buy a wireless data card for my laptop computer so I won't keep having to tether my cell phone (and drain its battery down all the time).
In this case, the exhibition in question is the Timonium motorcycle show. As you might imagine, people who can afford a Harley Davisdson have no problems affording a $50 cell phone, heh heh.
It'll be nice seeing my friend Larry again. He used to be my supervisor too, but we grew to be really close friends over a 10-year-long shared career. I'm glad that we remained friends even though we've parted ways professionally (he's still in sales while I do law enforcement.)
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Update:
Wow! I m sure glad that I don't do this line of work anymore. Two hours into the show, I've sold one phone case. Aaaiiieeee!
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More updates!
Egads! I think I made about $20 in commission tonight. Arrrg! I'm not quittin' my day job, folks! Hz ha ha ha! Larry said that he's sorta had it with phones too. I don't blame him. It's much more fun getting outstanding warrants served! It wasn't all bad, however. I got to see my friend :)
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Final Update
Man! The sales aspect of this weekend was a real drag! I don't think Larry and I are going to do any more cellular phone sales schemes. It's just too damn hard to make any money in this line of work
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( 3 / 1127 )Friday, February 8, 2008, 08:04 AM
The perils of Lent, for me at least, is that there is always a danger of triggering a "guilt spiral" that only ever ends with Halo being empowered and inflicting damage on this body. Fortunately, our system is in decent shape again, so last night's selections for choir practice didn't trigger any cutting episodes. But songs with the theme of "blood pays for sins" are really dangerous for me to hear.
I guess the question I ask is: why can't the church just allow us to be loved unconditionally by God? Why can't the church just be happy in the knowledge that God understands that people make mistakes and that it's still okay to be who we are? Why do we have to take on the blame for Jesus' torture-murder-execution when it happened over 2,000 years ago (and He knew it was going to happen anyway).
Jesus forgave his killers, and yet the Church won't forgive modern-day Christians who weren't even alive at the time.
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( 3 / 1249 )Thursday, February 7, 2008, 05:59 PM - Dumb Happenings
I got passed over for a promotion at work -- again! I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I don't know why I keep getting passed over. I've only missed one day in two years (due to illness). My latest performance review was "exceeds standard", a 3.03 on a scale of 0.0 to 4.0. I am really unhappy about this latest development.
Yeah... I know I am a very strange person, and I have a rather unique outlook on things. But I do a really good job, I get along well with my coworkers, and I'm very reliable. So why can I not get rewarded for my good performance?
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( 2.9 / 1253 )Wednesday, February 6, 2008, 06:05 PM
Ya just gotta love biweekly staff meetings -- a group of grumpy people getting reminded of their faults be a grumpy manager, heh heh. Fortunately for me, I'm too low in rank to get noticed too often :)
Well, what made today's meeting even better was that the heating was set to full blast (despite the fact that it was already 70 degrees outside!) The room was stuffy, humid, and 88 degrees! AAAIIIEEEE!!!!
Yeah, the Powers-That-Be apparently trusts us to get outstanding warrants served but they don't trust us to adjust the thermostat, ha ha. That particular piece of equipment is padlocked! Lovely.
So... it long, boring, and hot. I sweated through my shirt by the end of the hour. Ugh! Changelings are supposed to smell like cinnamon, but I'm pretty sure that's not how I smelled, ha ha.
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( 3.1 / 1010 )Wednesday, February 6, 2008, 05:38 PM
I felt really healthy today and I got a decent amount of sleep. There were no Halo whisperings today either. I think my system is almost back in balance again. Yay!
it was an unusual morning. It was partly cloudy and 70 degrees. The sun lit up the clouds in bright samber -- they were breathtakingly beautiful. And I received some direct sunliight for the first time in a long time. There have only been a handful of sunny days in the past three months, so the sight of the sun felt nearly sacred.
I felt Thistle's energy return as he drew in light and warmth. I hadn't even considered how low his reserves had become until I felt the contrasting fullness of his joy at being filled with new energy. I felt at peace too. I had missed the sun.
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( 2.9 / 1154 )Tuesday, February 5, 2008, 05:41 PM - Dissociation & Switching
I guess I had some trouble this morning because I've been sick lately and haven't been getting much sleep. It's bad for me to get too tired for too long. It takes only a small amount of psychic energy (ie willpower) to maintain integration, but if that energy's not there, "I" starts functioning like a very disfunctional "we".
Thistle is actually a lot more powerful than Halo. If I can actually get some real REST tonight, I think the balance can be restored. Halo is necessary -- in very small quanities. We all need our dark side too, but it's got to be in balance. For us, the order of power goes: Indigo - Thistle - Willow - Ashen - Halo.
or you can look at it as: Changeling - Angel - Human - Protector - Remnant
or as : Creativity - Faith - Purity - Discipline - Shame.
Yeah... definately have to keep Halo out of the foreground. Thistle and I might not be human, but at least we *like* this body!
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