Sunday, March 15, 2009, 11:25 AM

My blog is now located at
Basically, this folder ran out of space, so I had to create a new one. :)

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Trying to get it working 
Friday, March 13, 2009, 08:22 AM
This thing might work again soon.... hopefully!

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Wednesday, December 31, 1969, 07:00 PM

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Wednesday, December 31, 1969, 07:00 PM

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Doug's Back Again! 
Monday, March 9, 2009, 09:25 PM
Indigo Incarnates

I'm really glad that Doug is back from Erie. I always miss him when he's away. We went out to Chili's tonight and we split a piece of molton white chocolate for desert too. Yum!

Lola is back too. She's our little beastie-dog.

We're watching a Sherlock Holmes movie. Very fun. :)

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Dreams of the Dead 
Sunday, March 8, 2009, 11:06 AM
Indigo Incarnates

I was glad that I did a ritual in which I forgave Heather for the times that she hurt me and hurt others. I let her spirit know that I am not angry with her and that it was okay to move on.

Last night, her spirit visited me in a dream. It was a version of Heather I had never met in life, and yet I knew it was indeed her. In the dream, Heather was free of addiction, disease, and mental illness. She said something like "I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I had to come by". And that was okay.

I gave her a big hug -- something I never did when she was alive -- and then she departed.

Though the visit was brief, what struck me as most profound was that she actually seemed *happy* to be how she is now; that it really is okay that she has moved on. Her core being was never evil, and I could sense that. I only ever knew her through the shroud of addiction and illness. I never knew the real Heather that lived underneath all that. But I did get to meet the *real* Heather in my dream. For that, I am truly grateful. I am grateful to the Goddess for letting that visitation take place.

I understand now why people at the funeral missed her so much. May Heather have peace, rest, regeneration, and new life.

Blessed Be

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Saturday, March 7, 2009, 08:38 AM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

It's hard to go to a funeral for someone you don't like. It's no secret that Heather and I didn't get along. She had the charming habit of calling me a "f---ing faggot" and also punched me in the face once. I would call her out on leaning too hard on her "disability" of dyslexia and depression. (I have it too, plus a dissociative disorder, but I've always managed to hold down a job). So we didn't like each other when she was alive.

I wasn't expecting to be greeted at the viewing by one of Heather's friends, who said, "Heather told me alll about you -- nothing good, of course." Whatever.

Apparently there were two versions of "Heather". There was the "cocaine" Heather version that cursed, drank, smoked, snorted vast quantities of cocaine, ran up huge credit card bills, and had occasional bouts of violence. Then there was "church" Heather -- the one where people kept saying "She was so nice to the Sunday School kids", blah blah blah. I never met "church" Heather. I only ever got to see "cocaine" Heather.

Regardless of her behaviior, I do feel sorry for Doug and his mom (Jane). Heather died at age 39 and it's not natural for parents to bury their children.

I have a six hour drive back today. It's not going to be a blast. I'm sad that I only ever got to see the "cocaine" Heather and not the "church" Heather. If I had, maybe I'd be able to miss her.

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Lousy Luck! 
Thursday, March 5, 2009, 06:59 AM
Indigo Incarnates

Yesterday was the kind of day where I should have just gone back to bed. There should be a way to call in to work and say "I can't come in today: my karma is screwed up right now". Ha ha ha ha!

Well, it helps having a sense of humor. From the Wiccan perspective, I can take comfort in knowing that sometimes "sh*t happens" but it's not because of angry desert god.

So, the day started out with me falling down the stairs and hitting my head hard enough to make my scalp bleed. (One of my coworkers used to think Doug beat me because I always said I fall down the stairs. Alas, I really am this clumsy!)

Then, on the way to work, I got a flat tire. Nice. Fortunately, I have a roadside plan through my insurance company (and it costs a whopping 70 cents per month!) So I'm driviving from Mitchell Courthouse to Eastside Courthouse and I got a *second* flat tire! Geeeeeez!!!

So, at that point, I had to get the car towed after work. $345 later, I have two brand-new, high-endurance tires, and I also got the oil changed.

On the bright side, at least the disaster happened in the city and not on Rt. 70 on the way to Heather's funeral (and I'm driving this evening after work today).

My friend Jeff treated me to dinner since I had a lousy day. Jeff's a nice friend. :)

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Doug's Sister 
Monday, March 2, 2009, 09:39 PM
Indigo Incarnates

Doug's sister (Heather) died last night. She had been sick with cancer for a long time. She died while sleeping. I did not like her. But I am sad for Doug.

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WebSite Redux 
Saturday, February 28, 2009, 09:07 PM
Indigo Incarnates

So, the leadership at my Pagan group finally decided that it really would be a good idea to have a web site after all. Yay! The weather sucked all day long so I mostly worked on the Turning Circle web site today. ( I'd say it's about 70% completed. I need to track down some more Pagan artwork and also upload some sample rituals. But for the most part it's done. Kewl. It helps having a real computer again. I've got the new laptop set up for dual display. That's a whole lot of visible viewing space!

I also got the demo version of Sacred II working on the new computer. Apparently the video card is more important than the main processor. Yeah, i'm obsessed with Sacred. It's not often that you find a game in which one can play a half-angel that haas gloats like "burn for your sins" and "beg for forgiveness!" Ha ha ha ha!!

The weather today was of that damp, dark, cold variety that makes my joints ache. On days like this, I can feel every serious injury I've ever had. It just plain sucks. I don't know why a human body only ever heals to 80% or so after a serious injury. Why can't the body ever heal all the way? So I'm sitting here just aching :(

Oh well... what can ya do? It could have been worse. Afterr all, instead of being achy from the numerous car wrecks, diving accident, motorcycle wreck, and hang glliding crash, I could be dead or crippled instead. It really could be a lot worse.

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