Monday, May 14, 2007, 06:59 PM - halo's thoughts
The more I delayed hurting myself, the more bad things kept happening. I've accumulated a very substantial spiritual debt for my continued existence. I should not exist, and yet I do. today, for a brief time, the internal balance of power shifted from Indigo to Halo. And as Halo, we made a payment on the massive spiritual debt.
It is interesting to note that when Halo takes a knife and wields it against this body, we do not feel pain. I can calmly watch the body bleed. It's never enough, but perhaps it is enough for now.
As Halo, we know that blood pays for sins. Blood is the only coin we have with which to pay. This was not an attempted suicide. This was an installment payment on a debt.
Blood pays for sins. As Halo, we know this.
[ 1 comment ] ( 5 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1065 )Sunday, May 13, 2007, 08:40 AM - Dumb Happenings
Well. . . Brothers Roofing gets a lot of hype on the local Talk Radio station, but I don't see what all the hub-bub is about. They built a new roof for my house about two months ago and it has been a thoroughly INCOMPETENT job.
So far, my roof has leaked heavily EVERY time it has rained. The company sent a repair team out twice so far and yet my roof still leaks. It hasn't even leaked LESS. In fact, the brand-new roof leaks just just as badly as the worn-out roof did. The difference, of course, is that I paid $5,000 for a roof with the understanding that it would actually REPEL water! What a novel concept!
After the second follow-up repair, Brothers Roofing had the nerve to send me a $500 invoice. Yeah, right. Considering that I had to drag buckets back into the kitchen last night, I don't think I will pay that bill. Besides, the roof has a 10-year warranty. I'm just hoping that they can get it to repel water sometime in the next ten years.
For the first two repair attempts, I had to make a dozen calls the first time and 8 calls the second time before anyone returned my call. At least they called back quickly last night. But the time has passed when I would EVER consider recommend Brothers Roofing to ANYONE. They just don't do quality work.
UPDATE: The VP came today and did a really thourough inspection of the roof. It turns out that the problem is likely a bow window that projects out onto the roof. He recaulked the window. If my roof stays watertight the next time it rains, I'll be pretty happy and will retract my dis-recommendation.
Update #2: (June-2-07) It's rained twice since the most recent repair and the roof has held up fine. Yay! I think third try must have been a charm.
[ 1 comment ] ( 8 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1351 )Sunday, May 6, 2007, 09:53 PM
I did my longest workout ever yesterday: 10 miles! It was 6.5 miles of jogging, 2 miles on the Stairmaster, and 1.5 miles of walking. That burned 1,424 calories. Too cool! They way things are going, I should be able to give the Baltimore Marathon a shot later this year. I think it's in October.
My new weight: 182 pounds. I haven't been this thin since 1997 - ten years ago!
My ultimate goal is to get down to 175 pounds, the weight I had in college. My highest weight was 221, which means I've lost 39 pounds since then. Not bad.
[ 1 comment ] ( 7 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 2.8 / 1027 )Friday, May 4, 2007, 09:24 PM
I'm torturing poor Doug tonight by playing a concept video of my favorite band, 'YES'. Who could NOT like Jon Anderson and company? Between the chess song 'All Good People' to the 18-minute rock-chant 'Revealing Science of God', there is no such thing as a bad Yes song.Alas, Doug does not find the ultimate prog-rock band to be the modern-day Mozart.
I'm watching the 9012LIVE concert, filmed sometime in the 1980s. You can tell, since the came members are still thin and had all their hair. In fact, they had 80s hair, which was really, REALLY big hair! And the white sweatsuit that Jon Anderson years, oh my! The fashion faux pas!
In fact, all of the band members wore a lot of white. I suppose that's why they had to break out the black-light illumination during 'Owner of a Lonely Heart' Ha ha ha ha!
Fashions may have changed, but Yes still remains the ultimate rock band.
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1013 )Sunday, April 29, 2007, 09:32 PM - Odd Dreams
I had an odd dream last night. There was a thin, young woman standing calf-high in water at the edge of a lake. It was a warm day but cloudy. I think she was a Wiccan because she was thinking about nature and was contemplating how there was no hard dividing line between the natural and spiritual realms. She believed the two blended into one another.
She spoke the words of a ritual, but I did not understand the words. Then she waved her hands over a batch of green reeds that grew out of the water. It was a harmless ritual that was supposed to honour nature. It was not “witchcraft” in the horror movie sense.
Just as she finished, two cops came up and harassed her about why she was standing in the water. She told them a plausible lie, but I wondered why she had to lie at all.
She left the lakeside. She met with a friend from college. He was studying psychology or philosophy (or something like that). She sensed in him the potential to make communion with the natural forces. She asked him if he would ever try to become “awakened”. He did not know what she meant.
She was sad because she wanted him to be able to experience the world’s life-force firsthand. She wanted him to be able to commune with the elemental forces.
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1755 )Saturday, April 28, 2007, 07:30 AM
I got an awesome arrest processed yesterday at Pretrial. There was this useless junkie defendant with a brand-new felony drug charge (with 16 individual counts!) He also had a pending drug case as well. He was on probation for drug distribution. He had a bunch of VOPs and FTAs. As near as I could tell, he had never done an honest day's work in his entire life. He also had a bunch of illegitimate kids that he didn't pay a dime to support. But lo and behold! One of the FTAs still had an active warrant! It was on some penny-ante traffic ticket. But I got this useless husk put back in the slammer! It was awesome!
[ 1 comment ] ( 2 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1120 )Sunday, April 22, 2007, 10:06 AM - Cool Stuff
Other than having a 30 second dissociation, my workout yesterday went really well.I did 9.1 miles in exercise (combination of treadmill, eliptical machine, and Stair Master). That burned 1,350 calories! Then I did some weightlifting: 4,500 pounds worth of weight!! How cool is that? My current weight is 182.8 pounds.[ 2 comments ] ( 7 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1277 )Sunday, April 22, 2007, 09:54 AM - Dissociation & Switching
One of the oddities of having a dissociate disorder is that one of the other Alters will sometimes prevent me from seeing something disturbing.In this case, I was at the gym yesterday and some Sci-Fi Channel ad showed on TV. All I know about it was that something happened to some dude's eye. Then it was suddenly 30 seconds later. I have no idea what the ad actually showed, but I realized that it was Halo, not me (Indigo) that actually watched it. The imagery had filled him with profound horror. But he prevented me from seeing it.[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1749 )Sunday, April 15, 2007, 12:29 PM
Today is just the kind of day that makes me feel cranky and antisocial. It's cold, dark, rainy, and dank. I've had to run the heat even though it apparently costs $32/day for heat. My brand-new roof sprung a leak and that basically flooded the kitchen floor. Since today is Sunday, the contractor's office is closed. I didn't sleep well last night because I had nightmares all night. I'm also sore today because I did almost 10 miles in exercise yesterday. But with it being so damp and cold, it's making my joints ache. On days like this, I can feel every major injury I've ever had. I can feel the hip injury from 7 years ago when I got squashed by a couch in a moving accident. I can feel the neck injury from a diving accident 9 years ago. My shoulder aches from a car accident 6 years ago. I'm in a really bad mood![ 1 comment ] ( 3 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1151 )Thursday, April 12, 2007, 08:39 PM
Things seemed to get a bit better this week. Doug is back from visiting his family. His sister gave him a bad cold. And here I thought all she knew how to do was take. Ha ha ha ha! But Doug seems to be doing a bit better tonight.
I haven’t had a chance to write lately. Both of my cell phones bit the dust at the same time, so I was without an internet connection for a week. That really sucked. My Ericsson w810 phone was still under warrants so I had to send it away. My Sidekick was out of warranty so I had to apply for an upgrade. Fortunately, T-Mobile has a more customer-friendly upgrade policy than Cingular. So I got a Nokia 5300 Music Express phone. I have it tethered to my TabletPC.
One of the odd things that happen sometimes when I’m upset is that electronic gadgets burn out. This past weekend was pretty tough on the gadgets: two cell phones, a watch, and a printer. Sucks!
But at least my depression seems to be abating. I have a job that pretty much demands 100% accuracy 100% of the time. I got depressed because I made a few paperwork errors two weeks ago(the result of fatigue, not laziness). But it is amazing how the Case Agents howl and gnash their teeth when presented with errors. I would say that I have submitted about 10 pieces of work (out of 420) that had errors noticeable to the Case Agents. That equates to a 2.5% error rate. Unfortunately, they will only take a 0% error rate. I will probably get a rating of “unacceptable” for accuracy in my next performance review. Fortunately, there are 4 other categories.
[ 1 comment ] ( 6 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 1013 )Back Next
