Saturday, August 30, 2008, 09:29 PM - halo's thoughts
halo incarnates
am sad. skinny mother wants to die. wants to go to ireland to find sacred place then go away forever. am sad. don't want her to go away. feel sad. don't want her to die.
skinny mother is so sick. so skinny. so frail. so pale. so sick. am sorry to see her so sick. am so sorry to see her fading away. don't want her to die. want her to be well. am sorry. so sorry. tried so hard. said prayers. directed energy. let skinny mom know we loved her. forgive her. is okay. skinny mom has been sad for so long. sick for so long. tired for so long.
knows we prayed for her. was glad. could feel it. said she was glad. tried hard. was glad to do what we could.
godess loves skinny mom. will welcome her when she crosses the veil. will let her have peace. and rest. and regeneration. an love.
am so sad. will miss her so much don't want her to go away. will miss her. am so sad. can know that she must cross soon. can know she has illness that cannot go away. but will miss her. have tried to make her better. can't fix what can't be fixed. am sorry. am sorry. am sorry. tried so hard. am sorry. am sorry. am sorry. tried so hard. so sorry for skinny mom. so sad. am sorry.
[ 4 comments ] ( 32 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 1816 )Friday, August 29, 2008, 06:03 PM
Indigo Incarnates
So... I did my first bail reduction petition in court today. the case involved a miserable excuse for a human being -- a welfare mama who beat her 3-year-old son so badly that he suffered a massive subdural hematoma and is now brain-dead and will never recover. So, of course, my recommendation to the court was that the petition be denied and that the defendant remain incarcerated. I had a really detailed report too.
Well, I only got asked ONE question -- just one! Here's how it went:
Judge: "Pretrial, when was the last time the defendant had a bail review?"
Me: "May 9, 2008, you honor."
Judge (to defendant): "Has anything changed since May 9th?"
Defendant: "No, you honor."
Judge: "Petition denied. Next!"
Heh heh. Well, I got what I wanted, but it sure wasn't like Perry Mason or Matlock, that's for sure!
[ 1 comment ] ( 12 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1169 )Thursday, August 28, 2008, 04:23 PM
Indigo Incarnates
Y'know.... I just never call out sick unless I'm so unwell that I have to be in the hospital, So this week I've been showing the stiff upper lip and going to work even though I don't feel well. I only ever missed one full day of work at my current job and missed only 5 days of work ever!
I'm a workaholic. But if you have to be addicted to something, work isn't the worst choice. After al, what job could be cooler than Pretrial? I get to research arrest warrants on loathesome defendants and then get the defendants re-arrested. Kewl.
I'm pretty tired today. It's hard to sleep when I'm sick. Oh well, It won't last forever.
I get to present my first bail review in court tomorrow. I'm trying to get the petition denied because the defendant is a child abuser who ijured her child so much that the child is now brain-dead. Too bad the defendant can't just be shot.
I am actually starting to feel a bit better. I can tell that Halo has been expending energy to make the body recuperate faster. He's good at that.
[ 2 comments ] ( 10 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1167 )Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 06:58 PM
halo incarnates
didn't want body to get sick. am tired. really tired. body is feeling hot. really tired. wanted to not be sick. try not to. failed.
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1124 )Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 09:54 PM
am willow
caught a cold
not fun
nose keeps being drippy
sneezy
body feels kinda floaty
feel really hot
[ 1 comment ] ( 8 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1180 )Sunday, August 24, 2008, 09:42 AM
Indigo Incarnates
There's not much going on. I'm feeling like a loser freak. I don't really get many posts here anymore anyway, so it probably doesn't matter what I write anyway. I hate myself for being a loser. Someone else should be the primary alter -- like Thistle. I just can't do anything right. I try to get the house clean and I run out of energy. I forget things and that makes the checking account go into the negative. I don't have the resources to help the people I love. I'm just useless and defective.
[ 4 comments ] ( 20 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1071 )Saturday, August 23, 2008, 02:54 PM
Ashen Incarnates
Indigo has an uncle who deserves to be punished. this arrogant, greedy egomaniac now states that he shall evict the mother from her home 14 months from now, regardless of her health at that time. The bastard already has a palatial home in New York State. Why does this monster need the home that the mother rents from him?
He is a murderer. He chose to "renovate" the house in winter with improper ventilation. He KNEW she was sick before. He KNEW that she had been sick for a long time. And yet he had that house filled with sawdust, solvents, and particulate debris. That bastard did not care how sick the mother became.
That person is a piece of trash. He is lower than reeking excrement. It just goes to show you how YHVH rewards the sociopaths of this world and punishes the meek. There is no justice. But we shall have our revenge. He seeks to have her financial and medical data. He shall not have it. He wishes to attend her funeral when that comes. He shall not. She will be in the Summerland a month at least before that greedy coward learns of her Crossing.
I hope that the lack of closure haunts him. I hope he hurts for years to come. I hope when he looks at himself in the mirror that he sees the face of a murderer.
He is another person for whom when he dies I shall make plans to dance on his grave and piss on the tombstone. Those who harm the weak from a position of strength are cowards. Those who hurt others for pleasure are monsters. I have no use for monsters.
If YHVH had justice instead of being the god of greedy, rich sociopaths, then the monster who harmed the mother would die by choking on steaming excrement. As it is, YHVH has proven himself again to be the patron of the unjust and the standard-bearer of abusers. I have no use for them, and I have no use for their so-called god.
[ 1 comment ] ( 7 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1164 )Friday, August 22, 2008, 06:28 PM
Indigo Incarnates
Lemme tell ya: Central Booking has got to be the most psychically toxic place I have ever entered. Part of my training as a Case Agent this week has been to work at Central Booking (as opposed to my usual place at Mitchell Courthouse). The Central Booking facility is overcrowded, stinky, and just plain awful. It is really overcrowded too. I've seen 7-8 people crammed into one tiny cell. And the stench of urine... egads.
The ventilation doesn't really keep up well either. there are aftermarket secondary ventilation units all over the place. Even so, the air gets hot and stale. The windows are all tiny (12"x12") and are filthy. You can't see the sky. In addition, you can't bring in anything into the courthouse: no cell phones, no laptops, no boxed lunches, etc. It makes the employees feel like criminals.
The facility just drains energy from anyone who walks in. I asked some of the other trainees if they felt suddenly fatigued and they said they did. It's just a sinkhole of negative energy.
Today I tried a shielding discipline to ward off the negative energy. I can say that it worked intermittently. But that kind of concentration just can't be maintained for long periods of time. So I had the experience of feeling "ok" for 20 minutes or so, then getting swamped by negativity for a like amount of time.
I am so happy that I am done with that segment of my training. I really do understand why the turnover rate is so high.
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1281 )Thursday, August 21, 2008, 09:34 PM
am willow
indigo worked in a bad place today
scary place
smelled bad
people squished into little rooms
couldn't leave
noisy
scary
was a bad, sad, scary place
didn't like that place
metal everywhere
scary doors made scary sounds
didn't want to get cut in half
walk home was better
sunlight and clouds
blue sky
nice trees
saw a stream that runs by the park
saw moths and bees
a tree had big pea pods on it
saw an old railroad track with a giant metal wheel near it
saw some yellow flowers
was better than sad, bad place
was better to be out.
[ 1 comment ] ( 7 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 1236 )Tuesday, August 19, 2008, 11:45 AM
Indigo Incarnates
I got to observe some bail review presentations today. Lemme tell ya: the defendants I saw were some of the grubbiest, scroungiest looking people I've ever seen. None of them worked, and all of them were in for guns and/or dope. Heh heh. One dude got involved in a shootout over a bicycle. Yeah. Another dude had four open drug cases. A third had a gun charge that involved five pistols and the public defender tried to use the excuse that her client had ADHD and therefore couldn't help owning a whole bunch of heat. Hmmm... Baltimore is the new "Wild, Wild West" hee hee.
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 2.9 / 1251 )Back Next
