Friday, February 22, 2008, 10:15 PM - Dumb Happenings
Ever since the power realignment a few weeks ago (when Halo went back to sleep and Thistle increased in power), I've been doing a lot better thinking positive thoughts and dealing with anger better, and not lashing out at people who say hurtful things to me.
Two things really helped me these past few weeks:
-- Jesus' words: "Love God and Love Each Other"
-- Wiccan Reede: "And that it harm none, do as ye will"
Between the two, one gets a pretty complete operating philosophy.
So... I had an experience with someone who turned out NOT be what [he/she] appeared to be. This person was friendly to me in the past but basically reveiled [himself/herself] as some sort of hate-based conservative operative who insulted both my partner and I. But instead of lashing out at this person with words of hate and anger, I calmly asked this person to leave us alone. I think I did pretty well. I didn't curse, scream, or threaten.
Well, for the ultraconservatives out there, I'll say this once: I was created by God, and so I am not a thing of evil. I was created by God, and so God loves me. I was made to be exactly what I am, because God loves me just as I am. I am not a demon, I am a changeling. Thistle is not a demon, he is my companion-spirit. Halo is not a demon, he is a wounded soul who is in a great deal of pain. Ashen is not a demon, he is my watcher-protector. Willow is not a demon, he is a small, innocent child. Indigo is gay, Ashen is straight, but that doesn't make Indigo more sinful or Ashen less so. We are as we were created.
I will not have rage at being judged harshly by someone who knows nearly nothing about me. I will trust that God does know me and does love me. I, too, will pray that God will bless this person who angered me with the gift of compassion and greater love. Love is more powerful than hate; serenity is more lasting than anger.
Anyone who has a problem with that can take it up with God.
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( 3 / 1626 )Friday, February 22, 2008, 12:54 PM - Cool Stuff
Back in the bad old days, I used to have this really stressful job as a district manager for a cell phone company. I pretty much drove 30,000 miles per year, had horrible hours, 50-55 hour work weeks, and super-high stress. The long and short of it is that by the time I quit that job, this physical body was not only drained beyond understanding, but also weighed 221 pounds -- and that's not a healthy weight. A fat changeling is not a pretty sight. Aiieee!!
Well, once I got the job I currently have, my stress level dropped by about 2/3, my workweek went to 40-45 hours per week, and I have pretty normal hours. So I got into excercise and improved my diet. Over a 2-year period, I lost 37 pounds. For the past four months, I've been unable to lose those last three pounds I wanted to lose -- until I stopped eating meat, that is.
Ten days of being meat-free allowed me to shave off that last bit of weight I wanted to lose. So now, I weigh the same as I did 15 years ago. YAY!!!
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( 3.1 / 1407 )Thursday, February 21, 2008, 04:19 PM
So... usually I have a pretty obedient body, but every 4-5 months my wrist gets really, really sore. I figure it's because I have to write so much with my right hand. My job at Pretrial requires all case notes to be handwritten -- And I sure do write a lot of cases! So when I get that problem with my wrist it usually flares up for 4-5 days.
But hey! I'm reasonably ambidexterous!
There's only one downside to writing left-handed. It sort of makes me feel like I'm going to fall away from my body. I usually get that feeling I get right before I lose the foreground to another alter, except that I don't lose the foreground when I'm just writing with my off-hand. Weird, eh?
At least the feeling of "falling away" isn't unpleasant. Actually, quite the opposite is true. It was okay, and I was not afraid. :)
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( 3 / 1335 )Wednesday, February 20, 2008, 05:13 PM
We had a rare treat today in Baltimore: it snowed! There have been plenty of cold, dark, drizzly days this winter, but today has had the best snow of the season. Yay! I could feel Willow's presence and he was so happy to see real, genuine, pure-white snow coming down from the sky in huge swirling flakes. His joy overflowed into my thoughts too, and it made me so happy too! :)
In my office at the courthouse, there are three huge windows that look out onto the Baltimore skyline. I got my work done 20 minutes early, so I got a chance to spend time just admiring the swirling snow. Changelings have a connection with nature, and watching the big flakes come down was very calming and soothing. It was a gentle, soft joy. I was happy to have seen it and to have spent that quiet, sacred time doing exactly what I did.
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( 3 / 1247 )Wednesday, February 20, 2008, 06:24 AM - Church Stuff
It was really nice at choir last night. We had our somewhat-belated Valentines Day choir party (we had bad weather last week, so practice got cancelled). Of course, Thistle always likes choir practicel most of my ability to play handbells comes from him :) He played one of the pieces we practiced, although Joan is the only on in choir observant enough to detect his presence (probably a good thing, since it would get tiresome explaining that whole dissociative / changeling / angel thing to the solids, heh heh).
We had some snacky things like chocolate strawberries and biscotti, and we set up a video player so we could watch "The Vicar of Dibly". And Doug came to the party! Yay!!! He really likes my chuch, since we're pretty liberal and have this crazy notion that God actually loves the people/entities he has created. Oh... Doug and Joan really get along well. I'm so glad, since Joan is my best friend in choir. I gave her a cameo appearance in chapters 51 and 52, hee hee!
Oh... and it was day 7 being meat-free. Only 23 more days until I can cal myself a vegetarian!
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( 3.1 / 1324 )Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 06:21 AM - Odd Dreams
Sometimes my thoughts race and I have trouble falling asleep. Last night was like that, since it just seemed like my mind would not be quiet long enough to fall asleep. I guess that just happens on occasion since there are five people sharing one body, ha ha.
So I finally fell asleep and it was a dream that was somewhat disturbing but ultimately helpful I think. In the dream, I was in a 12-years-old's body again (which would have made it just after I came into existence in 1982) and I was in some place that I knew was a secret place that was safe and no one knew where I was. Oddly enough, the song "Under Pressure" was playing on the radio. I was crying. I was about to try to stop when I realized that it was safe to cry and okay to do so. And so I did, for a long time.
I woke up for a few minutes after that and I felt a lot better. My mind stopped racing and I fell asleep again almost right away. It's funny how the mind workds sometimes, eh?
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( 3 / 1939 )Monday, February 18, 2008, 05:56 PM - Cool Stuff
I had Presidents' Day off so I got a chance to do some fun stuff today. I never waste days off that have good weather. :)
I did another full-sunlight 1.5 mile walk (1.5 mile flight for Thistle). We just feel so energized! :) It was unseasonably warm, too, so I didn't need a jacket, which means that more of my skin got direct sunlight. Changelings need sunlight, and I got it! Yay! I think Thistle and I have about as much energy as this mere human body can contain :)
I had so much energy that I did a whole bunch of chores (which REALLY pleased Doug -- my ever-loving partner!)
Then I got my bicycle cleaned up and went out biking for half an hour. It started raining on the way back, but it wasn't a cold rain, so it didn't bother me.
I finished writing chapter 52 of my novel ("I, Construct"), and I dedicated the chapter to my friend Jewell. In this chapter, the pirate-hunter ship Gaelic Knot ends up battling against a bloodthirsty pirate ship Rusty Rudder. The Knot gets heavily damaged, but does send the Rusty straight to Davey Jones' Locker, heh heh. Oh... and I just did a word count: it's got a shade over 232,000 words! Yay! Here's the link (and it's kinda a big file!): http://www.gaianar.com/Downloads/IC/I%20Construct%20-%20Complete/I%20Construct%20-%20Complete.mht
Oh... and it's day-6 of being meat-free. In 24 more days I can call myself a vegetarian. Cool!
So... All in all it was a good day :)
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( 3 / 1331 )Monday, February 18, 2008, 10:01 AM - Random Thoughts
Well, I'll probably think of something else to say later on, but the funny thought for Presidents' Day is that we could honor Abraham Lincoln by suspending the Writ of Habeous Corpus -- and thus make the defendants stay in JAIL!!!! Ha ha ha ha!!
::mischieveous grins::
--> Okay... I thought of what else I wanted to say: We could celebrate Presidents' Day by impeaching George W. Bush. Yay!!!
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( 3 / 1209 )Sunday, February 17, 2008, 04:15 PM
Well, I'm not going to call myself a vegetarian until I've done it for a month. But at day 5, it's so-far-so-good. It really feels like this body is being freed of poison, since it's functioning more efficiebtly and with more energy. Yay! Or, to put it another way, this human body is feeling more compatible with my changeling spirit, and that's not a bad thing. And this is only day 5! [ 2 comments ] ( 9 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1269 )Saturday, February 16, 2008, 10:34 PM - Cool Stuff
Well... I have to say that perfect days like today are few and far between, so I savored the hours of this day since it was enjoyable and peaceful.
Doug and I went to Bob Evans for breakfast and got blueberry pancakes and they were perfect! Oh, I've been meat-free for four days but I won't call myself a vegetarian until I've been meat-free for a month. I will say that the change of diet feels very healty. Yay!
After breakfast, I took a 1.5 mile walk in full sunlight. That was perfect too. Thistle flew freely and his spirit shone brightly in the sunlight. It was a really nice feeling. Humans only need food, angels only need energy, but changelings need a bit of both. And I got both. Yay!
So then I got to chat with some friends on Second Life for a while. I have a really cute avatar that looks like a giant butterfly. One of my friends is a Wiccan and he is really cool.
Then Doug, Rich, Jeff and I got to play my World of Gaianar roleplaying game. In tonight's adventure, the heroes got to bust up an Orchiel cult, rescue a stranded angel, pummel some zombies back into the ground, and begin a murder inquiry to solve a brutal murder. All in 4 hours! Yay! I'm really glad that my friends like my roleplaying game. :)
So, now I'm home and it's 10:30pm. It was a perfect day, and I am thankful.
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