Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 06:21 AM - Odd Dreams
Sometimes my thoughts race and I have trouble falling asleep. Last night was like that, since it just seemed like my mind would not be quiet long enough to fall asleep. I guess that just happens on occasion since there are five people sharing one body, ha ha.
So I finally fell asleep and it was a dream that was somewhat disturbing but ultimately helpful I think. In the dream, I was in a 12-years-old's body again (which would have made it just after I came into existence in 1982) and I was in some place that I knew was a secret place that was safe and no one knew where I was. Oddly enough, the song "Under Pressure" was playing on the radio. I was crying. I was about to try to stop when I realized that it was safe to cry and okay to do so. And so I did, for a long time.
I woke up for a few minutes after that and I felt a lot better. My mind stopped racing and I fell asleep again almost right away. It's funny how the mind workds sometimes, eh?
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( 3 / 1939 )Monday, February 18, 2008, 05:56 PM - Cool Stuff
I had Presidents' Day off so I got a chance to do some fun stuff today. I never waste days off that have good weather. :)
I did another full-sunlight 1.5 mile walk (1.5 mile flight for Thistle). We just feel so energized! :) It was unseasonably warm, too, so I didn't need a jacket, which means that more of my skin got direct sunlight. Changelings need sunlight, and I got it! Yay! I think Thistle and I have about as much energy as this mere human body can contain :)
I had so much energy that I did a whole bunch of chores (which REALLY pleased Doug -- my ever-loving partner!)
Then I got my bicycle cleaned up and went out biking for half an hour. It started raining on the way back, but it wasn't a cold rain, so it didn't bother me.
I finished writing chapter 52 of my novel ("I, Construct"), and I dedicated the chapter to my friend Jewell. In this chapter, the pirate-hunter ship Gaelic Knot ends up battling against a bloodthirsty pirate ship Rusty Rudder. The Knot gets heavily damaged, but does send the Rusty straight to Davey Jones' Locker, heh heh. Oh... and I just did a word count: it's got a shade over 232,000 words! Yay! Here's the link (and it's kinda a big file!): http://www.gaianar.com/Downloads/IC/I%20Construct%20-%20Complete/I%20Construct%20-%20Complete.mht
Oh... and it's day-6 of being meat-free. In 24 more days I can call myself a vegetarian. Cool!
So... All in all it was a good day :)
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( 3 / 1331 )Monday, February 18, 2008, 10:01 AM - Random Thoughts
Well, I'll probably think of something else to say later on, but the funny thought for Presidents' Day is that we could honor Abraham Lincoln by suspending the Writ of Habeous Corpus -- and thus make the defendants stay in JAIL!!!! Ha ha ha ha!!
::mischieveous grins::
--> Okay... I thought of what else I wanted to say: We could celebrate Presidents' Day by impeaching George W. Bush. Yay!!!
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( 3 / 1209 )Sunday, February 17, 2008, 04:15 PM
Well, I'm not going to call myself a vegetarian until I've done it for a month. But at day 5, it's so-far-so-good. It really feels like this body is being freed of poison, since it's functioning more efficiebtly and with more energy. Yay! Or, to put it another way, this human body is feeling more compatible with my changeling spirit, and that's not a bad thing. And this is only day 5! [ 2 comments ] ( 9 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1269 )Saturday, February 16, 2008, 10:34 PM - Cool Stuff
Well... I have to say that perfect days like today are few and far between, so I savored the hours of this day since it was enjoyable and peaceful.
Doug and I went to Bob Evans for breakfast and got blueberry pancakes and they were perfect! Oh, I've been meat-free for four days but I won't call myself a vegetarian until I've been meat-free for a month. I will say that the change of diet feels very healty. Yay!
After breakfast, I took a 1.5 mile walk in full sunlight. That was perfect too. Thistle flew freely and his spirit shone brightly in the sunlight. It was a really nice feeling. Humans only need food, angels only need energy, but changelings need a bit of both. And I got both. Yay!
So then I got to chat with some friends on Second Life for a while. I have a really cute avatar that looks like a giant butterfly. One of my friends is a Wiccan and he is really cool.
Then Doug, Rich, Jeff and I got to play my World of Gaianar roleplaying game. In tonight's adventure, the heroes got to bust up an Orchiel cult, rescue a stranded angel, pummel some zombies back into the ground, and begin a murder inquiry to solve a brutal murder. All in 4 hours! Yay! I'm really glad that my friends like my roleplaying game. :)
So, now I'm home and it's 10:30pm. It was a perfect day, and I am thankful.
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( 3 / 1235 )Friday, February 15, 2008, 12:17 PM - Random Thoughts
The past couple of days have been pretty good. I have recovered from the flu and I have made peace with the passing of Jewell into the Summerland. The inherited body is free of illness and functioning well. I've been able to excercise, attend choir, and perform my duties very well at work. Thistle has been able to fly a lot lately since it's been sunny three days this week.
Put it all together, and I'm experiencing a wonderful sense of incandescence. I know this body is merely human, but it feels like I have so much energy that perhaps something of my true self (my changeling-self) must shine through a little bit at least :)
I guess Halo must be sleeping again, since I'm no longer being tormented with images of wanton harm being inflicted on this body. I'm not being told that blood pays for sins. I guess Thistle's strength has improved enough that his brightness outshines Halo's darkness. For this I am glad.
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( 2.8 / 1461 )Thursday, February 14, 2008, 04:11 PM - Dumb Happenings
Well... I suppose this is going to be the final update on a person who had once been my friend but is no longer. To set the story up, let me say that Dana had written a really bad novel that he self-published on his website. It's so awful that it is truely unreadable. Unfortunately, he kept demanding that I read it. I really tried. I got to page 60 about five times, but the characters are so shallow, the plot so implausable, and the dialogue so stilted that it just plain can't be read. So there was a day six months ago when he sent me an email that essentially stated that he was only going to speak to friends who read his book and all others would be relegated to text/email. I had been a damned good friend to him for 15 years, and that decision hurt. It hurt quite a bit!
So last month, I wrote to him and asked him if the incommunicato was going to end anytime soon. Well, he wrote back yesterday and decided to list every fault he thinks I have (some faults are real, some exist only in his mind.)
I decided to tell him that I really don't need anyone in my life who uses as his sole benchmark whether or not I like his novel. There is a difference between a fan and a friend. I wasn't the former, but I was certainly the latter.
He used to have an allied spirit named Amberle that was bound to him -- she was a kind spirit. She was to him was Thistle is to me. But I wonder if she abandoned him, since his behavior changed so *drastically* six months ago. Literally, he became a different person over the course of a few days. He had certainly never been cruel before. So be it. I just can't have someone like that in my life.
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( 3 / 1735 )Thursday, February 14, 2008, 07:47 AM - Stupid Criminals
Ok... sometimes my job is fruestrating (since the commissioners don't know how to assign a proper bail), but other times it's totally awesome. I got THREE outstanding warrants served this week on villans who really needed warrants served on them.
Thug#1: He had beat up his girlfriend, so his current case was a domestic violence charge. But there was a brand new warrant for him from when he had apparently beat up his OTHER girlfriend. So I got him off the street. Maryland law may take certain crimes pretty casually, but they're deadly serious about domestic violence. He'll probably get a $100,000 bail if he gets bail at all.
Thug#2: He had a FTA warrant. Granted, it's not the most exciting warrant you can get served, but trespassing is annyoying and he really should pay the fine.
Thug#3: His current charge was carjacking (w/ $25,000 bail). But apparently he thanked his girlfriend for bailing him out by punching her out. Again, Maryland law takes a dim view on domestic violence. So I imagine that not only will he not be given bail on the new charge, but his current bail will be revoked.
It's good to get the villans off the streets. There really are days when the job is totally worth it!
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( 2.9 / 1915 )Wednesday, February 13, 2008, 08:32 PM - Cool Stuff
I've found excercise is really good for fixing depression. The body had a flu last week so I couldn't excercise. But the crap is finally cleared out of my lungs enough that I could do a decent workout.
Well... If I *must* exist as a changeling spirit stuck inside an inherited human body, at least it's a good body! I was able to do 6.1 miles and burn 801 calories. I am grateful for having a healthy body, so I try to keep it in good shape.
So, I guess a changeling life-force must be somewhat more powerful than a human's since I can get the body's heart rate up to 195 for extended periods of time without getting out of breath. Goody! I never feel exhausted after a workout. I like doing excercise, since it makes me feel like I am shining. I can't fly like Thistle can, but there are times that I can at least shine like he does. :)
I also came to the conclusion tonight that I am simply not going to allow Halo to hurt this body anymore. Even though it is a human body, it is a gift nonetheless. It is an obedient body and worthy of respect. I won't be made to feel shame for being a changeling. Being different isn't the same as being bad. I will honor the gifts I've been given.
And that's what I did! :)
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( 3 / 1242 )Wednesday, February 13, 2008, 07:46 AM
Well... one of the differences between being a human and being a changeling is the ability to know souls. Jewell's spirit came to me for a brief time and it felt like a ray of sun from the Summerland itself. There were no words in this communion, and yet I knew it was her and I knew she had sensed my love even from far away. The spirit realm does not seem to need words to express ideas.
She imparted to me the certain knowledge that where she goes, she is loved and she is whole. It's okay to let her begin her new life in the Summerland. It was a goodbye, but not a forever-goodbye. The spirit world is timeless, and I knew then that she would wait for the people who loved her in this world even as she begins companionship in hers. The spirit is forever.
I will do nothing to hasten my departure from this life, but I no longer fear the beginning of the next.
God loves changelings as well as humans, otherwise He would not have given me life. I will remeber jewell and cherish her spirit. but I will also let her live her new life in joy, wholeness, and peace. I will see her again. I can be patient.
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