Timeless Avatar 
Monday, June 5, 2006, 05:25 PM - Odd Dreams
I had this really odd dream last night. In this dream, I was a timeless, immortal avatar of some cosmic power of Good and Law. I understood that the universe was something that seemed to start, grow, wither, and die -- only to be reborn from the basic elements of what once was. My part of the deal was that at the end of every universal cycle, some evil power of destruction would try to prevent the universe from being reborn. I had to prevent this adversarial power from suceeding so that the next cycle of the universe couild begin as it should.

I remembered having "recently" defeated the avatar of my enemy, that being Chaos and Evil. My awareness ceased for some indeterminant time since I was not needed for a while. Now it was midway through the current universal cycle and I became aware again of my existence. Apparently part of the my job was to start recruiting mortals to believe in the existence and power of goodenss and structure (Good and Law). I began this instance of my being on some green world that I had never seen before. But when I closed my eyes, I could see anywhere on this world that I wanted. The world was mostly ocean with a long archipelagos of islands. It was pretty and pristine. The population of humans (or humanoids) was quite low, and they had not yet developed the technology required to do real damage to their ecosystem. I could feel their life forces, but I did not have the power to read their minds.

By concentrating, I opened a spiritual gateway that allowed three Angels to pass through into this world. I knew that they wouild be empowered to do all manner of good deeds for the people who lived on this world.

My own power was just beginning. I knew I had hundreds of thousands of years (if not more) before I would encounter the reborn avatar of Chaos and Evil. For now, I had peace -- like the calm before a great storm.

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Finally cleaned out my car 
Monday, June 5, 2006, 11:26 AM
One of my MANY flaws is that I am an incorrigible slob. My car, in particular, is pretty much a rolling SuperFund Site (an ecological catastrophe site, for you Brit readers).

Well, I decided to clean it out from top to bottom yesterday. I removed an entire trash bag full of wrappers, cans, styrofoam cups, receipts, packaging from various things, dead ballpoint pens, fried CDs, and other misc items. Then I scrubbed all the surfaces to remove 4 years worth of dust, dried-up spilled coffee, french fry residue, etc. The net result is that I used half a bottle of Windex and an entire roll of paper towels.

Now my car is actually clean! All I need now is a new set of floor mats! Doug is VERY happy about this since he thought the interior condition of my car was pretty loathesome. But no more! It's lookin' good!

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A Sermon that I just couldn't agree with 
Sunday, June 4, 2006, 01:42 PM
The priest at my church gave a sermon today whose message I couldn't disagree with more. It was about how we need to "reach out" to the Islam community in the hopes of bringing "understanding" between our two religions. He even used the parable of the Good Samaratin as encouragement to treat muslims as "neighbors".

I can't do that.

I will just never forget how, on September 11th 2001, the muslims in THIS country rejoiced and praised both Allah and Osama Bin Laden for murdering 5000 Americans in a cowardly act of terrorist. The muslim community in THIS COUNTRY still believe that Osama Bin Laden is some kind of folk hero and avenging angel. I can tell you from firsthand experience, as a retail store manager on duty that day, the obvious and hateful glee these bastards had over what members of THEIR religion had done.

They are not my "neighbors".

Members of Islam are sworn by their unholy Koran to kill all Jews and Christians. Their unholy text extols the virtues of striking at an enemy from afar, from a place of concealment. The muslim Beltway Snipers obviously took this verse to heart.

Members of Islam who reside in this country do not consider themselves Americans. They consider themselves muslims who happen to reside in America. But they certainly do hate America.

It is just inconceivable that I should "reach out" to someone whose first goal is to see me dead.

My firsthand experience with muslims is this: they are hateful, arrogant people who loathe women, loath anyone outside their faith, loathe freedom, and loathe America. They typically have lengthy criminal records for violent crimes. While they don't drink alcohol, they frequently engage in cocaine and heroin. They father multitudes of illegitimate children. They are rarely employed and seem to have no problem collecting welfare or some trumped-up disability.

Muslims, without a doubt, would spare no time slitting the throats or Christians and Jews if given the opportunity.

That's not a neighbor. That's an enemy.
Islam isn't a religion, it's a sociopathological phenomenon.

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Yet another questionaire! 
Saturday, June 3, 2006, 11:41 AM - Random Thoughts
This little gem is from Debbi's Blog!


------------------------------------------------
1) How old do you wish you were? 21. That was before the hang gliding accident, two motorcycle accidents, two car accidents, and a diving accident. My body worked MUCH better back then.
2) Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was at work in Columbia Maryland, doing a stock count at one of the retail stores I managed. All of the Muslim “customers” were praising Allah and practically dancing a jig. I will never forget the fact that these so-called “Americans” celebrated the fact that madmen of their religion could turn aircraft into mass drivers and cause thousands of deaths in the name of their false god Allah. I wish we could deport the Muslims because they are nothing more than terrorists waiting to be activated.
3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? I kick them. Then I try to use the “killing word” from the movie “Dune” (which, btw, doesn’t actually work).
4) Do you consider yourself kind? Most of the time, yes. But I have these “Ashen” moments of ruthless honesty.
5) What did you eat for breakfast today? Coffee and cereal.
6) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I’d get a Celtic knot, on my forearms.
7) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Spanish. Since Bush wants to give our country over to the illegal aliens, I suspect Spanish will soon become the de facto language.
8) Do you know your neighbors? Some. I’m just not that social and neither is Doug.
9) 9) What do you consider a vacation? Going on a cruise and then doing really active stuff like mountain biking or rock climbing.
10) Do you follow your horoscope? Not just no but hell no.
11) Would you move for the person you loved? Yes.
12) Are you touchy feely? I am very tactile. I touch things.
13) Do you believe that opposites attract? Yes. Although there must be some common ground too.
14) Dream job? Getting a few books published and then getting big royalty check$.
15) Favorite channel(s)? BBC America, SCI FI channel, History channel
16) Why do people always delete questions out of these? Because they can take a lot of time!!!!
17) Favorite place to go on weekends? Gym, and to visit friends.
18) Showers or Baths? Showers.
19) Do you paint your nails? No. I’m gay, but fairly “straight acting”.
20) Do you trust people easily? I trust people until they give me a reason NOT to trust them.
21) What are your phobias? 1.) Being abandoned. This is a huge, HUGE phobia. 2.) Becoming the Incarnation of Darkness and Death Magic (okay, that’s not a very rational phobia, but there it is.)
22) Do you want kids? I used to. But then I worked in retail sales for a decade and that taught me that children are greedy little monsters.
23) Do you keep a handwritten journal? I've tried, but it made me dissociate too much.
24) Where would you rather be right now? Ireland.
25) Who makes you feel guilty? Me.
26) Heavy or light sleep? Light. Sometimes it’s very difficult to sleep at all.
27) Are you paranoid? Afraid so. I always think I’m doing my job incorrectly and that people will find out.
28) Are you impatient? Hell yes. It’s one of my worst faults.
29) Who can you relate to? I don’t really understand most people.
30) How do you feel about interracial couples? To be honest, I think non-white interracial couples are OK, but whites should only marry whites. If that makes me a racist, well, I just don’t want to see my racial stock diluted.
31) 31) Have you been burned by love? Yes. My very first partner was a closet bisexual and he left me for a woman.
32) What's your life motto? I hold myself to a much higher standard than others, because the average person will let me down.
33) What's your ringtone on your phone? It’s still set on the factory default.
34) What were you doing at midnight last night? Still trying to fall asleep.
35) What did the last text message on your phone say? I sent a message to a friend that my hybrid got 54 MPG out of the last trip.
36) Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Mine
37) What color shirt are you wearing? None. I’m waiting for the laundry to dry.
38) Most recent movie that you watched? Couldn't tell ya. I don't remember
39) Name three things that you have on you at all times. PDA, cell phone, wallet.
40) How much cash do you have on you right now? Nothing right now. I’m not really dressed yet.
41) What's your favorite town/city? I’m not a big fan of cities.
42) I can't wait to (til): I can get promoted so I can get a raise!
43) Who got you to join myspace? Nope. I have my own Blog.
44) What did you have for dinner last night? Indian food.
45) When do you wanna get married? Yup!
46) Who is the last person you spent $50 on? My partner
47) Do you have an air freshener in your car? Does old stinky gym clothes count?
48) Does anything hurt on your body right now? Nope!
49) If you could choose, how would you pass on? In a drive-by shooting.
50) Any sex today? Alone? Or with someone else? Nope, but the day is still young!
51) Do you miss anyone? I miss my grandmother who died two years ago.
52) Do you like revenge? Yep. I’d like to see my father pay for what he’s done. But God rewards those who have hurt me.
53) Know how to swim? Very, very well.
54) Do you know how to skate? I am adequate at roller skates and roller blades, but I’m poor at ice skating.
55) Did you do sports in high school? No. I think Ashen was the dominant personality then, so we were mostly aloof and sullen. We had a motorcycle and only dressed in black – ever.
56) If you could have one wish come true, what would it be? I would like it if the dead could come back as flesh-hungry zombies, and that people of faith and goodness would have the power to destroy the legions of the Undead. That would be my wish.


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Confessions of a Choir Phoney 
Friday, June 2, 2006, 02:20 PM
Well... I guess the main problem I have in vocal choir is that I can't sing and I can't read sheet music. So, you might ask, how is it possibly that I've been in vocal choir for nearly 15 years? It's because I have the ability to mimic others.

I have the ability to sound a LOT like the person I'm standing next to. The trouble is that in the tenor section, there are only two strong tenor singers and neither were there at practice last night. This means that the Choir Master got to hear what I sound like when I'm not being a mimic. It wasn't pretty.

Handbell choir is always easier since I can rely on Thistle's musical ability (which seems to be quite good in handbells, but next to nothing in singing).

I just wish I could do it for REAL. I just feel like a fraud most of the time.

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Hot as hell! 
Thursday, June 1, 2006, 04:07 PM
As if living in a house that only has two air conditioned rooms wasn't bad enough, it turns out that the air conditioning at work has been on the fritz for the whole week. Tuesday and Today were the worst so far.

Now, I'm pretty tolerant of heat. But I hate it when I'm dressed in "business professional" mode and I start sweating through my shirt. And what I REALLY hate is hearing the defendants whine about the heat while they are waiting to be processed by the investigation team. When they're wearing t-shirts and shorts, and I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt, tie, and slacks, I don't want to hear them griping and moaning, "Izz so HOT in hehh, yo! Whyz it gots ta be so HOT? When's yoo goan git ta MY case so's iz cans goes home, yo! Ain't yoo goan be goin fastah, yo? Iz gots bidness ta be doins, yo!"

Yeah. Call me crazy, but I just can't feel sorry for some junkie/dealer who can't take the heat -- especially when their Section 8 subsidized houses come with central air conditioning, and I have to WORK for a living and can only afford two window units!



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Bush's Disgusting Speech 
Monday, May 29, 2006, 10:16 PM
It's late at night, so I have to be brief.

I wanted to say that I was disgusted and shamed that Bush used the yearly Arlington Cemetary speech to push his Iraq War agenda.

There was never a connection between Saddham and Bin Laden.
Bush single-handedly started a war in Iraq that does nothing but enrich Haliburton while getting honorable young men and women of the Armed forces killed and maimed.
Bush himself knows NOTHING firsthand of combat or the horrors of war.
His incompetent staff, espicially Rumsfeld, need to be purged.

I just don't know how this man sleeps at night. Maybe he believes his own lies. He's despicable.

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Closer to my goal 
Sunday, May 28, 2006, 02:24 PM
I lost another pound this week. I'm down to 190. Of course, I wasn't very overweight to begin with.

I think the REAL reason I want to slim down is that it finally looks like I have a shot at making my physical body more closely match my body as Indigo.

As an Alter, I'm 5'8" tall and weigh about 175 pounds. My physical body is 5'10" and 190 pounds. I'd get violet contact lenses, but I can't get them in my prescription. Oh well.

So I figured 185 pounds @ 5'10" is equivalent in proportion to 175 pounds @ 5'8". So that is my goal.

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will Americans still be dumb in November 2006? 
Friday, May 26, 2006, 08:51 AM
Well, we've had six years to try out the so-called "compassionate conservatism" espoused by the Bush Administration. Shall we examine what the past term-and-a-half has gotten us as Americans?

Clinton 1999: Gasoline was $1.29/gallon.
Bush 2006: Gasoline is $3.09/gallon, with spikes of $4.gallon.

Clinton 1999: We were at peace.
Bush 2006: We are mired in a war with Iraq and Afghanistan, and Bush is rumbling about attacking Iran, Syria, and North Korea.

Clinton 1999: The national debt had been significantly decreasing for three years, thanks to budget cuts and reinstating taxes on the rich.
Bush 2006: He exploded the debt by embarking on a two-front war while at the same time granting an unprecidented tax cut to the wealthiest 1%.

Clinton 1999: Insider trading was strictly enforced.
Bush 2006: Tens of thousands lose their jobs and retirement savings as greedy CEOs steal money from their own companies; Enron, MCI, Global Crossing, etc.

Clinton 1999: Averaged 15 vacation days per year.
Bush 2006: Takes 30 vacation days at once, works for a week or two, and then takes another 2-3 week vacation.

Clinton 1999: Wages increase, inflation is flat, cost of living goes down.
Bush 2006: Wages decrease, inflation skyrockets (particularly for energy), and cost of living goes way up.

Clinton 1999: Wanted to create socialized medicine (misguided, but the concept was noble).
Bush 2006: Wanted to allow HMOs to stop granting prescriptions and diagnostics for parients who got "too sick" (that bill was narrowly defeated this past Tuesday).

Clinton 1999: Architect of "Don't ask / Don't Tell", a military compromise that allowed thousands of patriotic gay men and women to serve in the armed forces.
Bush: Military expulsions for homosexuality skyrocket amidst depleted troop levels. He even fired high-level Arabic translators (despite critical shortages of such personnel) simply on the grounds of sexual orientation.

Clinton 1999: Was content to leave Civil Unions for gays/lesbians a State issue.
Bush 2006: Panders to the Religious Reich (ie. The Religious "Right") by twice attempting to pass an anti-gay Constitutional ammendment. There will be a third attempt this year before November.

Clinton 1999: Funded hybrid car research as a way of reducing Middle East oil dependence. He also favored the use of natural gas as a fuel (of which the United States has a sizable reserve).
Bush 2006: Stopped funding for hybrids in favor of fuel cell research -- a technology that won't be ready for another 30 years, if ever. He also favored dismantling our national parks for the purpose of drilling for more oil. Currently, the Bush Administration offers a $25,000 tax credit on gas-guzzling luxury SUVs that cost $75,000 or more, but only offers a $2,100 tax credit on the fuel efficient Civic Hybrid.

Clinton 1999: Scandals include: a $200 haircut; oral sex in the Map Room with an unmarried assistant; lying about his adultry; a bungled handling of the David
Koresh crisis; a bungled handling of the Ellion Gonzalez child custody case. Lives lost: less than 100.
Bush 2006: Scandals include: widespread warrantless wiretapping of American citizens; no-bid billion-dollar contracts given to Dick Cheney's Haliburton corporation; engineering the California energy crisis (which resulted in the election of Arnold as the Governator); inventing the term "enemy combatant" so that suspected terrorists can be imprisioned indefinately without legal counsel or judicial review; operating CIA torture camps in Eastern Europe; spying on journalists critical of the Bush agenda; being asleep at the switch for the 911 attacks; being asleep at the switch for the Katrina disaster; trying to elevate his personal attourny to the post of Supreme Court Justice; trying to give illegal aliens quasi-legal status so that Walmart & Co can have their supply of cheap, undocumented labor; for creating over 60 regional prisons for some dark, undocumented purpose (yes, these prisons have been built and staffed, but no one has been put in them. What purpose will they be used for?) Lives lost: close to 10,000.


So, I wonder if Bush's "gay panic" card will work again in 2006 like it did in 2000 and 2004? I hope that the American people, buth Democrats and Republicans, will finally wake up and realize that this President is not only a dud, but dangerously incompetent.

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The BMI Fraud 
Monday, May 22, 2006, 08:38 PM
Since I've been trying to lose weight for the past five months, I've learned about a ghastly chart published by the FDA called the "Body Mass Index". I think it's guaranteed to make people anorexic, since it's almost impossible to be a "healthy" weight.

Now, in my adult life, I've weighed between 152 and 215. I felt healthiest between 175 and 185. Right now I weigh 191, so I'm almost back to being the weight that *I* want to weigh.

According to the BMI chart, I should weigh between 140 and 150. Let me tell you: I would look like a concentration camp victim if that's all I weighed. I remember what I looked like weighing 152, and I can telly you that I didn't look good.

I think I looked pretty darned good in the 175-185 range, however.

Since February this year, I have lost exactly 20 pounds. I've done this by excercising five times per week and trying to limit my calories to 1900 per day.


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