Confessions of a Choir Phoney 
Friday, June 2, 2006, 02:20 PM
Well... I guess the main problem I have in vocal choir is that I can't sing and I can't read sheet music. So, you might ask, how is it possibly that I've been in vocal choir for nearly 15 years? It's because I have the ability to mimic others.

I have the ability to sound a LOT like the person I'm standing next to. The trouble is that in the tenor section, there are only two strong tenor singers and neither were there at practice last night. This means that the Choir Master got to hear what I sound like when I'm not being a mimic. It wasn't pretty.

Handbell choir is always easier since I can rely on Thistle's musical ability (which seems to be quite good in handbells, but next to nothing in singing).

I just wish I could do it for REAL. I just feel like a fraud most of the time.

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Hot as hell! 
Thursday, June 1, 2006, 04:07 PM
As if living in a house that only has two air conditioned rooms wasn't bad enough, it turns out that the air conditioning at work has been on the fritz for the whole week. Tuesday and Today were the worst so far.

Now, I'm pretty tolerant of heat. But I hate it when I'm dressed in "business professional" mode and I start sweating through my shirt. And what I REALLY hate is hearing the defendants whine about the heat while they are waiting to be processed by the investigation team. When they're wearing t-shirts and shorts, and I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt, tie, and slacks, I don't want to hear them griping and moaning, "Izz so HOT in hehh, yo! Whyz it gots ta be so HOT? When's yoo goan git ta MY case so's iz cans goes home, yo! Ain't yoo goan be goin fastah, yo? Iz gots bidness ta be doins, yo!"

Yeah. Call me crazy, but I just can't feel sorry for some junkie/dealer who can't take the heat -- especially when their Section 8 subsidized houses come with central air conditioning, and I have to WORK for a living and can only afford two window units!



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Bush's Disgusting Speech 
Monday, May 29, 2006, 10:16 PM
It's late at night, so I have to be brief.

I wanted to say that I was disgusted and shamed that Bush used the yearly Arlington Cemetary speech to push his Iraq War agenda.

There was never a connection between Saddham and Bin Laden.
Bush single-handedly started a war in Iraq that does nothing but enrich Haliburton while getting honorable young men and women of the Armed forces killed and maimed.
Bush himself knows NOTHING firsthand of combat or the horrors of war.
His incompetent staff, espicially Rumsfeld, need to be purged.

I just don't know how this man sleeps at night. Maybe he believes his own lies. He's despicable.

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Closer to my goal 
Sunday, May 28, 2006, 02:24 PM
I lost another pound this week. I'm down to 190. Of course, I wasn't very overweight to begin with.

I think the REAL reason I want to slim down is that it finally looks like I have a shot at making my physical body more closely match my body as Indigo.

As an Alter, I'm 5'8" tall and weigh about 175 pounds. My physical body is 5'10" and 190 pounds. I'd get violet contact lenses, but I can't get them in my prescription. Oh well.

So I figured 185 pounds @ 5'10" is equivalent in proportion to 175 pounds @ 5'8". So that is my goal.

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will Americans still be dumb in November 2006? 
Friday, May 26, 2006, 08:51 AM
Well, we've had six years to try out the so-called "compassionate conservatism" espoused by the Bush Administration. Shall we examine what the past term-and-a-half has gotten us as Americans?

Clinton 1999: Gasoline was $1.29/gallon.
Bush 2006: Gasoline is $3.09/gallon, with spikes of $4.gallon.

Clinton 1999: We were at peace.
Bush 2006: We are mired in a war with Iraq and Afghanistan, and Bush is rumbling about attacking Iran, Syria, and North Korea.

Clinton 1999: The national debt had been significantly decreasing for three years, thanks to budget cuts and reinstating taxes on the rich.
Bush 2006: He exploded the debt by embarking on a two-front war while at the same time granting an unprecidented tax cut to the wealthiest 1%.

Clinton 1999: Insider trading was strictly enforced.
Bush 2006: Tens of thousands lose their jobs and retirement savings as greedy CEOs steal money from their own companies; Enron, MCI, Global Crossing, etc.

Clinton 1999: Averaged 15 vacation days per year.
Bush 2006: Takes 30 vacation days at once, works for a week or two, and then takes another 2-3 week vacation.

Clinton 1999: Wages increase, inflation is flat, cost of living goes down.
Bush 2006: Wages decrease, inflation skyrockets (particularly for energy), and cost of living goes way up.

Clinton 1999: Wanted to create socialized medicine (misguided, but the concept was noble).
Bush 2006: Wanted to allow HMOs to stop granting prescriptions and diagnostics for parients who got "too sick" (that bill was narrowly defeated this past Tuesday).

Clinton 1999: Architect of "Don't ask / Don't Tell", a military compromise that allowed thousands of patriotic gay men and women to serve in the armed forces.
Bush: Military expulsions for homosexuality skyrocket amidst depleted troop levels. He even fired high-level Arabic translators (despite critical shortages of such personnel) simply on the grounds of sexual orientation.

Clinton 1999: Was content to leave Civil Unions for gays/lesbians a State issue.
Bush 2006: Panders to the Religious Reich (ie. The Religious "Right") by twice attempting to pass an anti-gay Constitutional ammendment. There will be a third attempt this year before November.

Clinton 1999: Funded hybrid car research as a way of reducing Middle East oil dependence. He also favored the use of natural gas as a fuel (of which the United States has a sizable reserve).
Bush 2006: Stopped funding for hybrids in favor of fuel cell research -- a technology that won't be ready for another 30 years, if ever. He also favored dismantling our national parks for the purpose of drilling for more oil. Currently, the Bush Administration offers a $25,000 tax credit on gas-guzzling luxury SUVs that cost $75,000 or more, but only offers a $2,100 tax credit on the fuel efficient Civic Hybrid.

Clinton 1999: Scandals include: a $200 haircut; oral sex in the Map Room with an unmarried assistant; lying about his adultry; a bungled handling of the David
Koresh crisis; a bungled handling of the Ellion Gonzalez child custody case. Lives lost: less than 100.
Bush 2006: Scandals include: widespread warrantless wiretapping of American citizens; no-bid billion-dollar contracts given to Dick Cheney's Haliburton corporation; engineering the California energy crisis (which resulted in the election of Arnold as the Governator); inventing the term "enemy combatant" so that suspected terrorists can be imprisioned indefinately without legal counsel or judicial review; operating CIA torture camps in Eastern Europe; spying on journalists critical of the Bush agenda; being asleep at the switch for the 911 attacks; being asleep at the switch for the Katrina disaster; trying to elevate his personal attourny to the post of Supreme Court Justice; trying to give illegal aliens quasi-legal status so that Walmart & Co can have their supply of cheap, undocumented labor; for creating over 60 regional prisons for some dark, undocumented purpose (yes, these prisons have been built and staffed, but no one has been put in them. What purpose will they be used for?) Lives lost: close to 10,000.


So, I wonder if Bush's "gay panic" card will work again in 2006 like it did in 2000 and 2004? I hope that the American people, buth Democrats and Republicans, will finally wake up and realize that this President is not only a dud, but dangerously incompetent.

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The BMI Fraud 
Monday, May 22, 2006, 08:38 PM
Since I've been trying to lose weight for the past five months, I've learned about a ghastly chart published by the FDA called the "Body Mass Index". I think it's guaranteed to make people anorexic, since it's almost impossible to be a "healthy" weight.

Now, in my adult life, I've weighed between 152 and 215. I felt healthiest between 175 and 185. Right now I weigh 191, so I'm almost back to being the weight that *I* want to weigh.

According to the BMI chart, I should weigh between 140 and 150. Let me tell you: I would look like a concentration camp victim if that's all I weighed. I remember what I looked like weighing 152, and I can telly you that I didn't look good.

I think I looked pretty darned good in the 175-185 range, however.

Since February this year, I have lost exactly 20 pounds. I've done this by excercising five times per week and trying to limit my calories to 1900 per day.


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Demonic Abandoned House 
Sunday, May 21, 2006, 07:58 PM
I had this terrifying dream last night that involved an abandoned house that everyone seems to have forgotten about. It was in a run-down section of some run-down midsized city. It had a faded wood exterior that was the color of ash. Inside, a few pieces of ruined furniture remained, but it was obvious that the house had been abandoned for 20 years or more.

Suddenly it was sunset. As the sun vanished beneath the horizon, an old picture on the wall seemed to suddenly become three-dimensional and an evil spectral figure flew out from it. I knew that it was some form of demonic entity whose sole purpose was to bring torment to living beings.

Time passed and I remained in that house, in the upper room that held the now-empty portrait. I realized that I was seeing in two ways. I could see in the normal material world, but I could also see in the spirit world concurrently. It was like a glowing overlay. All along the dingy walls of this room, glowing symbols of all kinds flickered and wavered. I sensed the power of evil here.

Time passed and it was dawn. The spectral figure returned to the painting.

I waited a few momens and I walked up to the portrait and uttered a Christian prayer that whatever lived in the painting would become trapped within. My prayer was tentative at first, but I quickly grew in confidince. I spoke words of power, and with making a sign of the Cross, the power of the painting somehow sealed upon itself.

I had the sensation that the time interval that I could be used as a spiritual conduit was going to quickly come to an end. So I targeted the three most powerful runes on the wall and repeated the prayer.

The dream ended with sunlight coming through the window. The house had become just some ordinary place. The evil presence, once a formidable thing, had been reduced to a faint whisper. I felt like I had really accomplished something.

Too bad it was just a dream!

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who gets saved? 
Sunday, May 21, 2006, 05:05 PM
I try to be a good and upright person, but I know that I am deeply flawed. I curse, I drive aggresively to punish SUV owners, and I have wrath and hate in my heart for right-wing religious types even though they worship the same God I do.

I worry that when this body dies, God will welcome only Thistle and Willow into heaven, and not Indigo (me), Halo, and Ashen. I just wonder if Thistle's purity and Willow's innocence effectively balance againt my sin, Halo's despair, and Ashen's rage.

I don't know why I just can't be sinless like Thistle. He doesnlt lie, cheat, or take the lazy way out. I've accomplished a LOT in my life, but I hate myself for some of the comprimises I've made. And I can be a lazy slob.

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The Junkie needed her Junk 
Thursday, May 18, 2006, 08:33 AM
Tuesday was a REALLY busy day at Pretrial, so several defendants had to wait 3-4 hours before they could be processed and released. Well, one of the heroin zombies started getting agitated around noon. She looked like she weighed about 70 pounds and only had about six teeth left. She made a few pathetic-sounding moans before she stood up and declared, "I ain't had no JUNK in TWO DAYS!"

The supervisor came out of her office and told her to sit down and shut up.

So she sulked for about 15 minutes before she stood up again and started crying, "Iz needz muh SHIT!"

Then she started rolling all over the floor and was crying and whimpering about how she needed her "junk" and her "shit". Pathetic!

The sheriffs took her away. On the bright side, she will undoubtedly get referred for detox and drug treatment. It's too late to save her teeth, but maybe she'll be able to save her LIFE if she gets cleaned up!

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7th Year! 
Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 03:01 PM
Doug and I had out 7th anniversary on Monday. Doug picked out a completely aweso,e seafood restaraunt and we both had some of the best fish dishes we've ever had. I also had two very good martinis! The restaraunt has deserts that were made fresh daily. I had a fruit tart and doug had a creme broulet. The shrimp cocktail that Doug had as an appetizer had the largest shrimp I've ever seen! The salads were great too.

All in all, it was the best meal we've had since the last cruise. Amazingly, Doug STILL managed to lose a pound at the Jenny Craig weigh-in, despite the huge dinner we had. Very cool!

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