Thursday, February 12, 2009, 03:08 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
It was a year and a day ago that I first decided to start learning about Wicca. Tonight is my initiation into the faith. I have to say that learning this path has been incredibly spiritually fulfilling. I never knew until this past year that is was possible to be loved by deity. I had only experienced the angry desert god (YHVH). But I've learned that the Goddess does love us. I'm not a worthless, detestable "sinner"; I'm someone who is loved and is accepted as I am. I'm not an "abomination". I'm a person who was created to be who I am.
I feel loved when I pray.
I've read a lot of books. I've studied in a Wicca class. I'm involved with two worship groups (Turning Circle and Cedar Light). I've even officiated at a worship service. I've written a handful of spells (for healing) and protection). I've empowered a healing amulet that has helped my terminally-ill mother. I crafted my first wand. I've participated in all eight Sabbats. I've learned to appreciate the significance and beauty of all four seasons. I've taken better care of my body. Halo has (for the most part) stopped cutting. I've grown in faith in the Goddess and God, and I've learned that faith, love, and ecology come before pursuit of magic. I've learned that the Threefold Law really does work.
And I've made mistakes throughout the year too. But the Goddess does not threaten eternal damnation or everlasting fire. We are simply commanded to make amends and learn from our mistakes.
An unexpected benefit of developing a communion with the Goddess is that Halo has steadily become less agitated. I think part of the reason is that the Goddess is equally aligned to both light and dark. And darkness is not the same as evil. Halo is dark but not evil. He finds comfort in being accepted as he is.
Of course, Thistle is a Christian (although he has a different view on deity than a fundamentalist might have). And Ashen thinks religion is "hokum" in general. Willow is sort of the little druid, although he doesn't identify as such.
Tonight is my initiation. I'm really happy about this. It's been a good year. I've learned a lot.
Blessed Be.
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( 3 / 1681 )Saturday, November 29, 2008, 09:36 AM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
Well, you all might remember how proud I was that I transformed my Wicca group's rudimentary Yahoo Groups page into a website, right? My intention in doing so really was benign. I don't have much in the way of money to donate to my religious practice, nor am I a particularly experienced or powerful Wiccan practitioner. But I am good at making basic non-commercial web sites. I also wanted to register the domain name before it was grabbed up by somebody else. I thought it was going to be nice if everyone in the group had a domain email instead of a cobbled-together collection of Yahoo and Hotmail accounts. My intent was for something really positive for the group.
It's just a shame that it wasn't recieved that way.
Basically, my efforts were recieves as an attempted usurpation of leadership authority. My efforts were viewed with shock and distress. I was told to never, ever do it again. I'm basically persona non-gratis at my group for a while. I guess I'll know in a few months if they want me back. I asked the priestess if she would be willing to put it up for a vote in a few months if I can be welcomed back. I guess I'll know what she thinks if/when she responds to my email.
So, I took down the website last night.
I had wanted positive things to come from my effots. But, as usual, every time I try to do something good, it blows up in my face. I really am a loser.
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( 2.9 / 1681 )Sunday, November 23, 2008, 03:09 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
So... it occurred to me that my Wicca group (Turning Circle) doesn't actually have a web site. All we have is a group page on Yahoo. Well, I did some digging and discovered that I am entitled to a free web hosting service as a side-benefit of having a Windows Live account (hey, considering how much Microsoft charges for everything else, we ought to get something for free!) So I threw together a site at www.turningcircle.org that shows the basics of what Turning Circle is all about. It's got driving directions, our mission statement, and the calendar of upcoming events. I'm no hand-coding hacker-genius, but at least we have an actual domain and an actual web site now. Yay!
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( 3 / 1495 )Saturday, November 15, 2008, 08:57 AM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
Well, you all may vaguely remember a few months ago that I accidentally volunteered to lead a worship service at Turning Circle (my Wicca group). Since I had three months to design the service, I had plenty of time to really refine what I was going to say. And I wrote the most awesome Quarter Calls (yeah, I'm humble too). Since it was the full moon and was only two weeks after Samhain, I had the ritual focus on the Goddess as Crone and the Goddess in the fullness of her power (since it was also the full moon).
I was really happy, too, that Doug came. He had never been to a Wiccan ritual before. And lemme tell ya: most of the crap they show on TV that depicts a Pagan service is just that... crap. The other members really made Doug feel welcome too. Wicca doesn't have prejudice against gays and they don't make us grovel or scrape just to receive bare "tolerance". We look at the content of one's character, so black/white, gay/straight, male/female are irrelevant attributes to us. I think Doug was glad that he came.
Of course, no Wiccan service is complete with out goof-ups. We write our rituals from scratch every single time, thus there is no "Wiccan Book of Common Prayer". That makes every service unique and fresh, but the specter of typos is never far away. I had to quickly muddle through the Release of the Spirit of Fire since I copied the wrong Release onto the note card. Then there was the issue of the cigarette lighters that sort of didn't want to light (we did eventually get the candles lit, however). But the Goddess has a sense of humor, so it is alright.
Unlike the Christian church, where people bolt for the door after Communion, Wiccans actually spend time after the service getting to know one another. So everyone brings snacks and drinks along. I brought a fruit salad and apple cider. But there was also some home-made cookies and pumpkin bread. And, of course, the cheese and crackers, chex mix, and other goodies. Yum!!!
Mav, our Priestess, said I can lead the Ostara service next spring. Yay! I am really glad that everyone thought it was a meaningful ritual that brought them joy and also honored the Goddess.
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( 3 / 1521 )Saturday, November 8, 2008, 02:18 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
Well, I'm not going to be vitriolic as Ashen. But I do agree that the time has come for the Christian Church to lost its tax-free status. Historically, being a "tax-free" entity implied that the institution in question was charitable. I'd hardly call putting hateful, discriminatory laws into the Constitution of 26 states to be a work of "charity" or "goodwill". For me, the last straw was in California. Is the Church going to reimburse the wedding expenses of the 18,000 legally-wedded couples who just had their marriages canceled by popular vote? I somehow doubt it. And yet, the "charitable" Christian Church was able to somehow pony up over $70 million to push through a consititutional revocation of gay rights in California.
That, my friends, is NOT charity. That is the functioning of a PAC. That's right, the Christian Church has become a Political Action Committee and has abdicated its original function as a purveyer of hope, charity, and peace. The Christian Church has basically become a subset of the Republican National Committee.
In the USA, charities are tax-exempt, but PACs are not. Since the Church has decided to become a PAC, it's time for them to pay taxes.
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( 3 / 1236 )Friday, November 7, 2008, 12:23 PM - Church Stuff
Ashen Incarnates
I hope you people who grovel before your angry desert god someday know true suffering. You worship two perpendicular sticks. You worship a god that truly does not give a damn, but laughs at you from afar. Have you never wondered why the most "faithful" amongst your kind always seem to come to ruin? That's because your angry desert god punishes those who beg, grovel, and scrape. He rewards those who abuse power, who take power, who use their will to break the will of others, and who harm others for the sheer pleasure of inflicting harm. Those are the people your angry desert god loves. You are fools for believing in a "just" and "loving" god who promises eternal damnation for even the most trivial of sins, while being guilty himself of genocide.
You fools. You goats. You bleating sheep. I loathe you for your weakness, fear, and bigotry. You crawl on your bellies to grovel before a distant, capricious entity that only shows hate in return for subservience. When will you realize that the angry desert god has only one proclamation: "Nothing you do will ever please me, but you shall suffer the consequences of having tried." Fools.
And when I see how you vote, I laugh at your willful, carefully maintained ignorance. You think your angry desert god cares about minutia about health insurance for homosexuals. You fools need to wake up. The desert god not only doesn't care about that, he cares about little else except showering powerful and abusive predators with divine blessings while sending tornadoes to strike down your double-wide trailers. I laugh at you. I loathe you. Your willful weakness disgusts me.
Have an ounce of strength, cowards. If you're going to hate, have the honesty to say "I hate you". Don't cower behind a book of old stories and then say "God told me to hate you."
And of your "bible", let me point this out: that book has been translated so many times that I wonder how anyone can know what was originally written? Show me the museum or archive that has the "original" documents. Show me the birth certificate for Jesus Christ. And, you fools may not realize, "Christ" is not his last name.
Your "bible" is the politically motivated, highly edited compilation from a bunch of old white men. It was put together long after the execution of Jesus. No live witness had any input into the "bible" you read. It is not a book in which the angry desert god wrote by hand so that His Way Bookstore could make copies. Christianity is a made-up religion -- as is EVERY religion.
If you Christians insist on wallowing in weakness, then stay out of my way. But don't thrust your weakness and your fear and your hate down our throats by use of the ballot box. There will be revenge. There will be a reckoning. And I can tell you exactly HOW it shall be. The day will not be long off -- perhaps only a few decades -- when your Christian religion is no longer the dominant faith. Then there will be a ballot initiative to amend the Constitution to strip the churches of their tax-free status. After all, what is the Christian church by an arm of the Republican party? When you fools have to pay taxes, you will be crushed financially. I await that day with anticipation. And you all will have deserved it.
I have no use for you bigoted, stupid, willfully-weak fundamentalist Christians who use politics to achieve what your message cannot.
You wonder why Christianity doesn't appeal to the modern youth? Because they're smart. they figured out that your notion of "sin" and "redemption" doesn't make sense. They figured out that it's more important to not hurt people and it's important to make amends for misdeeds. I spit in your face when you people say "I've harmed my neighbor, but it's okay to do so because Jesus forgives. It's okay to do whatever I want because Jesus forgives." That's not a moral code. That's a virulent piece of sociopathology. You Christians justify hate, bigotry, murder, theft, and even genocide in the name of your angry desert god. You have no morals. You are weak and stupid.
You Christians will pay for what you did in California and other states. And I will rejoice when the "for sale" signs go up on the churches one by one as your numbers dwindle and your tax-free charters are revoked. Christianity deserves to become a half-forgotten cult.
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( 3 / 1445 )Friday, October 31, 2008, 12:22 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
Today is the Samhain sabbat in the Wiccan calendar. It is the end of one year and the beginning of another. It is the third harvest (apples and pumpkins). It is the day when the Veil that separates the physical world from the spirit world is at its thinnest. It is a day to remember loved ones who have recently passed from this world into the Summerland. And so, on this day, there is a friend I remember.
I did not know Jewel for a very long time before she died. But sometimes it's possible to care for someone deeply without having to know that person for years. Maybe I knew her in a different life. I don't know. But I can say that Jewel had a kind of spirit that just shown with a warm, bright intensity that few others had. The brief time I knew her, she made a profoundly positive difference in my life. She just simply loved others unconditionally. She died of a brain tumor on February 10, 2008.
Her mother died five months after Jewel crossed the Veil. She could not live with the loss. She didn't commit suicide, nor did she have any long-term disease. She just simply died. theoretically it was heart failure, but I think she didn't want to be in this world without her daughter. They are together now.
I miss my friend. It's difficult for me to develop friendships. I am a strange and heavily damaged individual. Few can accept me as I am, as we are. But Jewel could. I miss her. But it's better that she is no longer being eaten by a terrible and incurable disease. She spead a lot of love and happiness in her brief incarnation. May she have peace and rest in the Summerland. May she be truly blessed in her next life.
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( 3 / 1582 )Sunday, October 26, 2008, 07:48 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
It occurs to me that I'm getting pretty tired of the Religious Reich claiming "deeply held religious beliefs" as an excuse to hate gays and for pushing punitive laws down our throats. I was pretty angry about this and I finally found a deeper reason WHY I'm so angry at the Religious Reich.
It's bad enough that they use Jesus as a tool for hating people different than them. One even cited that hating gays was an innate "truth" of Christianity, despite the fact that Jesus never addressed the topic of same-sex unions but DID tell people that the primary commandment was to love God and love each other.
Well, in my faith (Wicca), homosexuality is NOT a sin. In my religion, it is perfectly acceptable for a man and a woman to marry, two men to marry, or two women to marry. The only qualifier is that they must love one another. My deeply held religious belief is that love is better than hate and courage is better than fear. In Wicca, we are told to have perfect love and perfect trust; to live and let live; to fairly take and fairly give.
Sounds simple, right?
I believe that my deeply held religious beliefs have just as much validity as those on the Far Right. Why should Wicca be considered an inferior religion in comparison to Christianity?
See... that's the reason why the Founding Fathers designed our government to be a secular republic and not a theocratic oligarchy. It's the government's job to print the money, secure the borders, enforce public safety laws, and maintain a military. It is NOT the government's job to say whose deeply held religious beliefs are valid and whose aren't. It's NOT the government's job to legislate who can love and who cannot.
It doesn't bother me when someone else's religious beliefs run counter to mine. It's a free country. But it bothers me quite a bit when someone uses their religion to write laws that have the effect of kicking me in the crotch. That's not a republic; that's a theocracy. And that, my friends, is why Sarah Palin and her Religious Reich allies are un-American.
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( 3 / 1599 )Monday, October 20, 2008, 07:50 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
So... Doug, Jeff, Ritchie, and Jeff got to do one of my favorite pastimes yesterday: playing my role-playing game! The heroes were once again charged with defending the town of Raindrop Fair from bloodthirsty outlaws. This time, it was from a nefarious assassination cult called "Murder Incorporated". Yeah, I wonder if they were fully incorporated or just an S-Corp.
The heroes had to face a darkened stone maze filled with booby traps of all kinds. Then there was a fight against an evil janitor that had an enchanted mop that shot streams of highly corrosive acid. Then there was a platoon of ultra-thugs that had poison daggers and grenades. They faced a giant sentry robot but managed to trick it into letting them pass (clever, since that thing is tough!) Finally, they fought a giant rat that was the size of a horse (and the rat had six legs too!)
All that was to reach the inner sanctum of Murder Incorporated. Next week they get to fight the actual assassins, heh heh.
Doug has a Gunslinger based on Annie Oakley (from the musical!) Jeff is playing an incredibly heavy-handed self-righteous Protector. Richie has a mentalist/thief that also serves as chief of Raindrop Fair's secret police. All in all, it's a pretty useful trio of unique personalities. Cool! I'm really glad that Doug and my friends like my game. I wrote it from scratch 13 years ago.
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( 3 / 1596 )Friday, July 11, 2008, 09:06 AM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
I've been on the Wiccan path for five months as of today. That also means I've been a vegetarian and booze-free for five months. My body, mind, and spirit feel better. Too much meat slows down the body, too much alcohol clouds the mind, and praying to an unloving god tortures the spirit. So, my diet is much better and I pray to a deity that loves me back. Things are good!
The amazing thing I've found is that when I pray to the Mother Goddess, I really do feel loved. When I used to pray to YHVH, I always felt like a wretched, unwanted creature. But the Goddess does love. The Goddess is immanent as well as transcendent (ie, she is real unto herself and also has presence in all living things everywhere.) I think the "immanent" part is how it is possible to commune when I pray. It is wonderful to be loved and accepted. It is wonderful to know that I was created as a good entity, not as some filthy wretched "sinner". The choice to do good or evil is mine, and I choose to do good. There is freedom in Wicca to choose to do the right thing. For in this faith, it's not a matter of "sinning" or "not sinning", it's whether you've helped or harmed. I choose to not harm, so that is a good thing. That helps me be in harmony with the Goddess. I am glad.
It's nice to feel loved. Blessed Be.
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