I am an idiot 
Friday, May 12, 2006, 07:28 PM - Dumb Happenings
SO... I told a friend (and former employer) that I would help him out with selling phones at the local baseball stadium. I got Doug to drive me to the train station so that I could get to the stadium without wasting gasoline.

Well... Like a fool, I forgot the damned entry pass! So I had to catch the train again going in the opposite direction and then walk two miles home.

Doug drove me out *again*. This time I have the entry pass.

I just don’t understand why my mind just doesn’t function correctly. I just forget things -- a lot. It’s been like that my whole life (which at least means it’s not alzheimers’ disease). But I get so tired of feeling stupid all the time. I’m just such a loser.

Because I’m so stupid, I managed to get Doug pissed off and disappoint a friend at the same time.

I hate myself.


[ 2 comments ] ( 9 views )   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 1287 )
Pretty gross cheese 
Friday, May 5, 2006, 05:41 PM - Dumb Happenings
Y'know. . . I never thought I would find a type of cheese that I DIDN'T like. But last night, I managed to do just that. There's a Wegmans' grocery store in the Baltimore and Wegmans is the Mecca of grocery stores. I's got a huge aisle dedicated just to CHEESE. So Doug and I have been trying out a new kind of cheese each week.

Well, I tried this imported German cheese (with the writing in German, and an English translation in very small print). It was just listed as "traditional German semi-soft cheese". I cut the package open and the first thing that I noticed is that the cheese smelled like POOP! I'm not kidding! The cheese was also really oily. The "semisoft" texture was the same consistancy as poo also.

UUURRRGGHHH!!!!!!

It looked like cheese, but that was about it. I almost threw up when I took a good whiff. It went right into the trash.

It was only then that I thought: Are the Germans actually KNOWN for making good cheese? :P

[ 2 comments ] ( 10 views )   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 991 )
What a Rip! 
Friday, April 21, 2006, 09:06 AM - Dumb Happenings
It just got a lot more expensive to live in Maryland . About ten years ago, the legislature got the bright idea to deregulite the power industry. After all, it worked *so* well in California! What was supposed to happen here was the introduction of power competition, and this competition was supposed to keep the prices in check.

Well, it's ten years later, and there's *no* competition and the government price restrictions are about to dissolve. The result? BGE (the power company) is going to raise *everyone's* rates 72% because they *can*.

Maryland is already one of the most expensive states for power. After the rate increase, only California will be more expensive (co-incidently, the only other completely deregulated state).

Personally, I don't think private industry can be trusted with utilities. I think they should be run by state or federal agencies in order to keep prices down.

Our governor also inked a sweetheart deal for BGE in which customers can phase in the rate hike over two years, but pay *interest* as if the phased hike was some sort of loan. Wonderful.

So this hike, along with the 224% increase in gasoline prices since 2000, make me wonder: how are we supposed to pay for this?

[ 1 comment ] ( 9 views )   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 1180 )
Road Rage! 
Thursday, April 6, 2006, 08:32 AM - Dumb Happenings
Downtown Baltimore has got to be the RUDEST place on Earth to drive. Every morning when I drive to work, I feel like I’m playing a minor role in a new “Mad Max” movie. Today was no exception.

To start off, there is no “main road” into downtown Baltimore. They are all really narrow roads that date back to the horse-and-buggy era. You’re also not allowed to park on these streets ANYWHERE during rush hour -- but people do, all the time. Their modus operandi is “I’m just going to stop off here for a newspaper and a pack of cigs”. Meanwhile there is a line of cars 20 units long behind this rude bozo.

So this morning, I was trying to merge from i83 onto Saint Paul Street where, lo’ and behold, someone was parked illegally at the end of the merge lane. To avoid hitting this parked car, I had to make an emergency acceleration and yank my car to the left.

It did not help matters that this ultra-yuppie in a “historic” VW Beetle saw my predicament and actually SPED UP in attempt to prevent me from AVOIDING a car accident. Well, a Civic Hybrid beats almost every car in a 0-30 acceleration (thinks to the electric motor assist), so I avoided having a wreck.

This did not satisfy the ultra-yuppie, however. He honked his horn, sped up, and PURPOSEFULLY tried to sideswipe me. Then he got in front of me and slammed his brakes to the floor to try to trigger a rear end collision. (There was no chance of that. A hybrid has regenerative braking, which stops the car in 2/3 the normal distance.)

He did the attempted sideswipe / forced-collision manoeuvre two additional times over a one mile stretch. What he just didn’t get is this: in a wreck between a VW Beetle and a Civic Hybrid, the hybrid would crush the Beetle -- like a bug! The ultra-yuppie is lucky that I am a very skilled driver who knows how to make emergency defensive manoeuvres.

Finally, the ultra-yuppie turned off Saint Paul Street. But as he turned right, I thought: “Buddy, there are decaffeinated brands that taste just like the real thing!”


[ 2 comments ] ( 10 views )   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 2.8 / 1843 )
Fun with HP's Outsourcing! 
Friday, March 10, 2006, 08:06 AM - Dumb Happenings
I already knew that HP had outsourced its Tech Support department to India. What I didn’t know until last night is that they also outsourced their spare parts order centre. The arrangement was so bad that I was unable to order the spare part I needed.

My TabletPC is three years old. It uses a special magnetic pen for input and navigation. Recently, the pen has started to have trouble capturing my handwriting. So, logically enough, I decided that I would order a new pen from the spare parts hotline.

The guy who answered on the other end had a very thick accent that was difficult to understand. When I told him what I needed, he said “That’s impossible! Digitizer pens don’t wear out!”

That’s funny, I thought , no one said that when I did a pen replacement 18 months ago! And it solved the handwriting problem until last month.

Before I could contradict him, he transferred me to Tech Support. This was pointless, since the warranty on my computer expired three months ago. (Which is why I was going to buy a new digitizer pen instead of just asking for one).

So the Tech rep proceeded to transfer me back to sales -- but to the wrong department in that division. The rep there only knew about PDAs, and insisted that there are no electronics in a PDA pen (that is true for a PDA but not for a TabletPC).

So I got transferred again. The next guy insisted that a TabletPC was “corporate” product, not a “retail” product. So I got transferred to corporate sales.

Over at corporate sales, the rep said he didn’t understand how I could own a TabletPC if I wasn’t a corporate customer (answer: I bought it off eBay from a doctor who was using it for business.)

When that rep said he was going to have to transfer me somewhere else, I gave up. This whole process took an hour and I still don’t have my new pen. Well, there’s always eBay.

Gotta love Corporate Outsourcing!


[ add comment ]   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 1450 )
A totally bogus day 
Sunday, March 5, 2006, 08:13 PM - Dumb Happenings
Today totally sucked. It all started with my computer getting totally screwed up by Microsoft's latest greatest product: Internet Explorer 7. It didn't work, wouldn't uninstall, and made a lot of *other* things not work too (including System Restore). The long and short of it is that I had to do a complete reformat/reinstall.

Then mom called to complain about how my younger brother is lazy, greedy, and arrogant. He declared yesterday that he was too much of an "artist" to ever have a job. He said that he intends on *never* working.

So of *course* that means that mom is going to cut me out of her will so that Andy will get my inheritance (so he can be an "artist".)



[ 1 comment ] ( 11 views )   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 1137 )
Tommy... Can you hear me? 
Friday, February 24, 2006, 03:30 PM - Dumb Happenings
I work in the 5th floor of a courthouse (as an investigator) and a really odd thing happened today. At 3:22 PM all the windows in the office started vibrating, and a low, stacatto beat played through the air. But wait! This is Maryland, not California! It wasn't an earthquake.

It was somebody's car stereo system running at full blast.

What I have to ask is this: how loudly did this dude have to play his stereo in order to make the windows in a 5th floor office start vibrating? Moreover, how did the sympathetic vibrations *not* tear this guy's car apart?! And if it was loud a block away, five flights up, and indoors, what would it be like to be a passenger in this guy's car?

So... My idea is this: people who go deaf by age 30 because they blast their stereos to 175 decibels should *not* get any subsidies from Medicare for hearing aids! Foooools!!!

[ add comment ]   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 1167 )
The Prince of Altoona 
Monday, February 20, 2006, 05:01 PM - Dumb Happenings
My brother and I had different dads, so he didn't experience the same abuse I did. What we sometimes fight about is the fact that his dad (when still living) basically gave him everything he ever wanted. I know that's a cliche, but anything his father could afford to give him, he did. My brother's father was also a very kind, good, and honest man. He worked an honest trade and was skillful at it.

Well, my brother turned 23 yesterday, and he has yet to hold down a job. He just leeches off mom for housing, food, and cash. Apparently, he sees himself as an "artist" because he has some modest talent on keyboards. He told me that he's too good for a job because he's so "artistic".

Lemme tell ya: an artist produces actual art. In the case of the musical arts, that means recording music and performing. My brother has been involved with exactly two bands. He dropped out both groups when they started getting regular work. I guess "artists" must not be asked to work...

[ 1 comment ] ( 15 views )   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 1425 )
Valentine's Day Rip-Off 
Wednesday, February 15, 2006, 08:28 AM - Dumb Happenings
My partner and I headed to Boordy Vineyards last night for a Valentines Day soiree. We spent 60 bucks per person for an evening that promised romance and candlelight and even a red rose. And what the menu promised! Here is the rundown from Boordy’s own page:

"Cascading Winter Display of Cheeses, Crackers, Bread, Hummus & Olive Tapenade
Oysters on the Half Shell with Chesapeake Cocktail Sauce, Horseradish & Lemon
Carved Beef Tenderloin with Haricot Vert, Herb Roasted Fingerling Potatoes & Rosemary Sherry Demi Glace
Paella Station with Saffron Rice, Chicken Breast, Baby Shrimp & Andouille Sausage garnished with Little Neck Clams & Chive Oil
Chef prepared Bananas Foster over Mascarpone Crepes, Assorted Truffles & Miniature Cheesecakes
Afterwards, wander outside with hot Wassail & roast marshmallows over an open flame cauldron".

Well... Let me tell you about the REALITY:

-- The whole thing was set up as a really expensive, really bad, really crowded buffet with long lines to get even the smallest scrap of food.
-- The "waterfall of cheese" was a single tray that had only three kinds of cheeses, and was 90% depleted by the time we got to the front of the line. (No bread and hummis evident).
-- They only let us have *one* oyster each.
-- The beef tenderloin consisted of a sliver of meat the size and thickness of a silver dollar. We got *two* string beans, and *two* slivers of potato.
-- There was *no* shrimp. We got one tiny clam, and a rather sad little scoop of flavored rice.
-- We never did see the desserts, but I figured they were going to wait until 8:59pm to bring them out.
-- The wine was doled out in such miserly quantities that I'm surprised they didn't use an eye dropper.
-- When I complained to the manager, she just said "nothing in our ad is technically incorrect. Any difference between reality and your expectation simply reflects an error in your perception!"

Nice customer service!

For our $60/ea., I estimate that my partner and I got about $3 worth of food, $1 worth of wine, and $0 worth of customer service.

Well, as we Irish like to say: "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me". We won't be fooled again by Boordy's Vineyards.

[ add comment ]   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 2.9 / 1242 )
Not too alarming  
Tuesday, February 14, 2006, 08:01 AM - Dumb Happenings
One doesn't usually think of alarm clocks as being a household item that generally breaks or wears out. But mine sure did! But it fooled me by still telling the correct *time*. It just doesn't make *noise* anymore. What a draaaaag!

[ add comment ]   |  [ 0 trackbacks ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 1170 )

Back