Friday, February 24, 2006, 03:30 PM - Dumb Happenings
I work in the 5th floor of a courthouse (as an investigator) and a really odd thing happened today. At 3:22 PM all the windows in the office started vibrating, and a low, stacatto beat played through the air. But wait! This is Maryland, not California! It wasn't an earthquake.
It was somebody's car stereo system running at full blast.
What I have to ask is this: how loudly did this dude have to play his stereo in order to make the windows in a 5th floor office start vibrating? Moreover, how did the sympathetic vibrations *not* tear this guy's car apart?! And if it was loud a block away, five flights up, and indoors, what would it be like to be a passenger in this guy's car?
So... My idea is this: people who go deaf by age 30 because they blast their stereos to 175 decibels should *not* get any subsidies from Medicare for hearing aids! Foooools!!!
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( 3 / 1241 )Wednesday, February 22, 2006, 04:09 PM - Cool Stuff
I have to admit that I'm pretty happy with my 2003 Civic Hybrid. After 3.5 years and 93,000 miles, it has only needed *three* repairs, and only one of the three jobs was hybrid-related. Even though my warranty ended at 80,000 miles, Honda still paid for the new catalytic converter because I had taken such good care of my car.
I would certainly buy from Honda again!
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( 3 / 1585 )Tuesday, February 21, 2006, 06:15 PM - Odd Dreams
So... I had this really weird dream in which I was still working for my old company and the boss wanted me to pick up a used car for the business (the one that is *out of businesses* don'cha know!) So I drove to this odd little car dealer to look at some cars on the cheap.
The lot was overgrown with all manner of shrubs and such. I think the main showroom used to host some other kind of business, because it was a bit small for cars. But in the main room was parked a strange old car from another time.
It was old, worn, but incredibly clean and maintained by a caring hand. It was some sort of green station wagon, with all-leather interior. Maybe it was a Ford? It was a pretty car, but I didn't know exactly what it was.
Here was where it got odd. A trap door opened in the showroom floor when I touched the door of the old car. I fell down a narrow chute into a totally *different* room. It was an abandoned floor of an office building. It wasn't exactly *dirty* but it was slightly dim and very dusty. The trouble was that I didn't exactly see a way out.
As I walked around, I realized that the "trap" floor was a *lot* bigger than the floor above me. The dream ended before I could find my way out, but I didn't get the impression that I was in any kind of *immediate* danger.
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( 3 / 1615 )Monday, February 20, 2006, 05:01 PM - Dumb Happenings
My brother and I had different dads, so he didn't experience the same abuse I did. What we sometimes fight about is the fact that his dad (when still living) basically gave him everything he ever wanted. I know that's a cliche, but anything his father could afford to give him, he did. My brother's father was also a very kind, good, and honest man. He worked an honest trade and was skillful at it.
Well, my brother turned 23 yesterday, and he has yet to hold down a job. He just leeches off mom for housing, food, and cash. Apparently, he sees himself as an "artist" because he has some modest talent on keyboards. He told me that he's too good for a job because he's so "artistic".
Lemme tell ya: an artist produces actual art. In the case of the musical arts, that means recording music and performing. My brother has been involved with exactly two bands. He dropped out both groups when they started getting regular work. I guess "artists" must not be asked to work...
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( 3 / 1504 )Sunday, February 19, 2006, 08:18 PM - Drrruuggsss
Lemme tell ya: there is such a thing as too much of a good thing...
But it was a lot of fun...
My partner and I went to an awesome Drag Queen bar called "Lips" last night. It was both fun and funny. Lips is decorated in a total tacky 70's motif and is hosted by a gaggle of drama-prone gay men ln sequin gowns. The decor included lava lamps and disco balls.
The food was *fantastic*, and the booze was really good. There was even a drag queen lip-sync show.
It's a good thing that our straight friend (Dana) was with us, since my partner and I managed to rack up a $110 bar tab by the time it was all over.
Me: 6 Cosmopolitan Martinies
Partner: 1 lemon-tini, 3 margaritis, 1 shot of some mystery booze.
As amazing at it sounds, our hangovers weren't *too* bad the next day. And belng Multiple means never passing out from too much booze!
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( 3 / 1917 )Friday, February 17, 2006, 08:32 AM - Dissociation & Switching
So... There are times when a shadow seems to pass over my soul, and I cease being a creature of light, but instead I become a harbinger of Death Magic. I imagine that, in the spirit plane, a horrible and ghastly black radiance emanates from my soul. This darkness has the power to make other people sick, or make their bodies deteriorate, or make their aging accelerate. I hate when I become a thing of Darkness.
Right now, I can feel the Death Magic streaming outward. My body is numb, and my skin is like some sort of strange facade. I could cut myself now and know that it would not hurt. I could bleed without fear.
As Halo, my blood is the blackest, most caustic poison known. But I do not feel. I am the Incarnation of Darkness and Death Magic.
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( 3.1 / 1630 )Wednesday, February 15, 2006, 08:28 AM - Dumb Happenings
My partner and I headed to Boordy Vineyards last night for a Valentines Day soiree. We spent 60 bucks per person for an evening that promised romance and candlelight and even a red rose. And what the menu promised! Here is the rundown from Boordy’s own page:
"Cascading Winter Display of Cheeses, Crackers, Bread, Hummus & Olive Tapenade
Oysters on the Half Shell with Chesapeake Cocktail Sauce, Horseradish & Lemon
Carved Beef Tenderloin with Haricot Vert, Herb Roasted Fingerling Potatoes & Rosemary Sherry Demi Glace
Paella Station with Saffron Rice, Chicken Breast, Baby Shrimp & Andouille Sausage garnished with Little Neck Clams & Chive Oil
Chef prepared Bananas Foster over Mascarpone Crepes, Assorted Truffles & Miniature Cheesecakes
Afterwards, wander outside with hot Wassail & roast marshmallows over an open flame cauldron".
Well... Let me tell you about the REALITY:
-- The whole thing was set up as a really expensive, really bad, really crowded buffet with long lines to get even the smallest scrap of food.
-- The "waterfall of cheese" was a single tray that had only three kinds of cheeses, and was 90% depleted by the time we got to the front of the line. (No bread and hummis evident).
-- They only let us have *one* oyster each.
-- The beef tenderloin consisted of a sliver of meat the size and thickness of a silver dollar. We got *two* string beans, and *two* slivers of potato.
-- There was *no* shrimp. We got one tiny clam, and a rather sad little scoop of flavored rice.
-- We never did see the desserts, but I figured they were going to wait until 8:59pm to bring them out.
-- The wine was doled out in such miserly quantities that I'm surprised they didn't use an eye dropper.
-- When I complained to the manager, she just said "nothing in our ad is technically incorrect. Any difference between reality and your expectation simply reflects an error in your perception!"
Nice customer service!
For our $60/ea., I estimate that my partner and I got about $3 worth of food, $1 worth of wine, and $0 worth of customer service.
Well, as we Irish like to say: "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me". We won't be fooled again by Boordy's Vineyards.
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( 2.9 / 1318 )Tuesday, February 14, 2006, 08:01 AM - Dumb Happenings
One doesn't usually think of alarm clocks as being a household item that generally breaks or wears out. But mine sure did! But it fooled me by still telling the correct *time*. It just doesn't make *noise* anymore. What a draaaaag! [ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1245 )Monday, February 13, 2006, 07:50 PM - Stupid Criminals
It's never a dull day at the Department of Pre-Trial Release!
You'd dig the brain-dead moron I had to interview today. He had been arrested for "Unauthorized Use (motor vehicle)". The reason why it wasn't listed as actual car theft is because his friend *had* given him permission to borrow the car for the weekend. But that was five years ago! Ha ha ha!
So the reason why the cops had such a hard time tracking this guy down is because there is *nothing* in his name. He basically sponges off his girlfriend and doesn't work.
When he was finally caught and was asked why he never returned his friend's car, all he had to say for himself was, "Uh... I forgot!"
Man, how'd you like *that* guy for a friend?!
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( 3 / 1603 )Monday, February 13, 2006, 09:51 AM - Odd Dreams
Ya know... I just don't have *ordinary* dreams. But I think that's just fine when the dreams aren't nightmares.
Last night, I dreamed that Thistle and I were on this huge colonization starship. The great thing is that it didn't look like any ship I've seen on TV on Sci-Fi. It had a lot of windows, and had really low-key, seemingly sourceless lightning and carpeting the color of port wine. All of the furniture was made from inorganic materials: glass, metal, plastic, etc. No wood or leather could be seen. It was all charmingly ultra-modern.
Anyway, this ship possessed a propulsion system that allowed it to somehow "sidestep" normal space. It never went faster than light, but instead sort of popped from one location to the other.
Well... The drive system must have been experimental, since the ship was in significantly worse condition *after* the jump. In fact, all of the propulsion was failing, as was internal power. Fortunately, we had made it to the destination world, since I could see it from one of the huge windows. The bad news is that we were caught in its gravity well.
It was an interesting looking world. It seemed bigger than Earth, and the land/water distribution was closer to 40/60. Many areas looked like high, mountainous deserts. The lands near the equator were green, flat, and reasonably habitable.
It took a *long* time to crash, and it was spectacular. I guess the ship must have been made of some nearly indestructable alloy, since the ship skidded along the ground for miles before it finally came to a stop. The crash ripped off the two engine pods, so this world was definitely where we were going to be.
We left the ship, and the first thing we noticed was that this planet had been occupied before! Everything was totally overgrown, indicating that habitation had ceased 5-10 years previously. From the abandoned gadgets we found (a lawn mower and an edge trimmer), it looked like 1940's era technology. All the houses were covered with vines and grass had reclaimed most of the streets.
The question I had was this: where had the former occupants gone? Did they abandon the planet, or were they all dead? If they left, then how and why did they leave? If they died, what had killed them? I didn't think it was world war, since evening was too intact (other than being partially reclaimed by nature.)
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