Monday, March 31, 2008, 06:42 PM - Random Thoughts
Well... Today was a pretty gloomy affair. It was grey, cold, and drizzly all day. It's the kind of day that make my fingers get cold and stay sorta stiff all day. The defendants were just ghastly today as well. Usually we just get low and mid-level criminals at Pretrial (petty theft, drug possession, misdemeanor assault, etc.) But today I had a cold-blooded murderer (1st degree murder at that!) I processed an armed robber (who got a haul of a whopping $171 from his victim). Then there was a misdemeanor gun case. Finally, I had a second robber. Egads.
When processing the release for the murderer (yes, some judge actually let him out pending trail), I performed a Wiccan shielding discipline since I did not want a single trace of this monster's negative energy to interface with me. So I felt nothing about him or from him as I did his release interview. But what a monster. He already had four prior convictions for crimes of violence. But he was going home. Unbelievable.
The only bright side of my day was that another judge signed off a warrant petition I prepared on Friday for a twice-convicted wife-beater. The defendant was in non-compliance with his pretrial supervision, so I asked that the defendant be re-arrested and his bail increased from $10,000 to $25,000. The judge agreed and now this bully is back behind bars. At least I did something useful for the community.
It remained cloudy the whole day. That means Thistle couldn't fly. That means that I, too, could not receive any sunlight energy. I am tired. I didn't sleep well last night either (that happens a lot.)
Halo was out for a while, but he did not cut. He's getting quite good at resisting the self-destructive urges he feels every time he manifests. He's resisted the urge very time for the past two months. This is good.
Right now, I am just goofing off. I'm tired. I had some veggy lasagna for dinner (yum!) But otherwise I'm doing a whole lot of nothng. But there's no choir tonight and Doug's at work until 9:00pm. I think it's okay to do nothing for a while.
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( 3 / 1463 )Monday, March 24, 2008, 09:33 PM - Random Thoughts
It was very exciting at work today. I got TWO warrants served on defendants who otherwise couldn't be bothered to show up for trial (the warrants were FTA warrants for failing to appear for trial). Go figure... people who rob, steal, and deal dope don't always show up for court! Well, at least THESE TWO will! :)
One of my work-avoiding coworkers was wailing and gnashing her teeth today because her duty load was just high as mine for a change. Usually I do about 25% more work than her because she drags her heels all day whereas I work at full blast. So she was griping about having "too many" cases (ie. the same number as I get every single day). Well... welcome to MY world, ha ha!
My first therapist appointment went pretty well. She has treated other dissociatives before and agrees that my case isn't TOO bad (yay!) So I should be able to be restabilized pretty quickly. I'm glad.
And Doug and I got ice cream tonight. Yum!!!! :)
So, all in all, it was a pretty good day. I am happy for this incarnation. I feel blessed.
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( 3.2 / 1390 )Sunday, March 16, 2008, 05:32 PM - Random Thoughts
Well... I can only blame myself for getting four hours sleep last night. The cause wasn't psychological or spiritual, but instead was 100% mundane. It all started last night, heh heh.
So, we played my World of Gaianar roleplaying game last night (after yesterday's blog entry). It was pretty fun since the adventure involved a time-travel puzzle in which the adventerures completely screwed up by making terrible choices (the Gunslinger ended up violating his ethos and has temporarily lost his powers). Well, Jeff called me before the game and said, "Hey, bring over a Dunkin Donuts' "Box o Joe". So I did. Well, Rich came up with the exact same idea independently on his own. So here we were with four players (me, Doug, Rich and Jeff) and two GALLONS of hot coffee. Well, heck... we didn't want to let all that coffee go to waste. Between the four of us we polished off two gallons of hot coffee.
Needless to say, the game ran at a BRISK pace, which is also probably why the players made uncharacteristically bad choices, heh heh. In the end, it turns out that the adventurers served as the original cause of a problem that made half a town vanish into a limestone sinkhole, har har. In other words, they were the cause of the very problem they were charged with solving!
Yeah... trying to sleep after all that coffee... right... sorta didn't work out so well.
And today was Palm Sunday -- one of the darkest services in the Christian calendar. Halo manifested and sheilded me from hearing the content of the first service (the betrayal/torture/murder of Jesus Christ). I was really grateful for that, even though it means his own burden increased by some small increment as a reault. He protected me for the first service and part of the second (basically, he held the foreground until Communion in the second service).
So, I'm tired today.
At least I got a chance to sign up for the Wicca 101 class. It actually starts April 28. That should be pretty cool.
And this morning, I had my last cup of coffee at 7:45AM, so at least I didn't REPEAT yesterday's mistake!
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( 2.9 / 1383 )Thursday, March 13, 2008, 06:23 AM - Random Thoughts
Usully I'd have written this last night, but yesterday was really non-stop the whole day. But overall, it was a pretty good day with only a few pockets of unpleasantness.
Work was hard-core busy with non-stop processing of defendants for pre-trial release. I had mostly domestic violence cases yesterday -- which are always emotionally distressing to me. After all, I can rationally understand a bar brawl, but I cannot understand why people beat up the ones they allegedly love. But then I had a defendant on a drug charge that emitted a strong negative presence. It wasn't a death aura (thankfully), but the soul-sense that I got was that there was something crucial, critical, and non-replacable about him that had somehow become "burned out". I don't know the right words to say it, but "burned out" is something of the truth. I've really got to get better at shielding.
But once I left work, things got better. It was bright, warm, and sunny. Thistle got to fly for a long time. Angels only need energy, but changelings need food and energy. It was good to have communion with Thistle and feel the influx of warm, positive energy. He likes sunlight. It was really nice.
One of my friends on Second Life stepped me through a guided meditation to purge the negative energy I picked up at work. I think the meditation was successful, since I felt less weighted down afterwards. I was happy about that.
We ended up having bell choir last night instead of Tuesday, since the church was hosting some sort of half-baked dance recital of some sort. Bell practice went really well. There's a piece that Thistle really likes, so we shared consciousness for that one. It was good.
And last night I actually seven hours of uninterrupted, non-nightmare sleep. I think I can face the day. Yay! :)
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( 2.9 / 1223 )Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 10:02 PM - Random Thoughts
Meme!!
Stolen form Hannuman's blog on March 11, 2008
1. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? A swig of lemonaid
2. What’s the last food item you touched? A chunk of cheesecake
3. Who ticked you off last and why? Whoever the person was that made all-meat dishes for the church dinner. :::arrrg:::
4. What would you change about your special someone? That he would do workouts with me at the gym sometimes.
5. What is your worst habit?: Being a slob
6. Do you make fun of people who are different than you? Not usually. I find "different" people interesting, since i'm pretty much a kook too.
7. What’s the best news you’ve gotten recently? Mom got over a bout of bronchitis
8. The worst? The water boll was $1,200 because we have a plumbing probem. :::blech:::
9. You have $200 to blow…what do you spend it on? Half on books, half on DVDs.
10. One month to live…What do you do? Try to finish writing "I, Construct" and then go hang gliding one last time.
11. Who do you call first with any kind of news? Partner-Doug
13. Who knows the most about you? Partner-Doug
14. What makes you absolutely livid? Not being believed when I am absolutely telling the truth.
15. U can only have one makeup item, what is it? Hmmm... I don't really use makup. Does sunscreen count.
16. What’s the last thing you dressed up for? The cruise last December
17. What tv show are you embarrassed to admit you watch? I don;t watch TV.
18. What band you’re embarrassed to listen to? I can’t think of any
19. What’s you’re favorite ice cream place and what do u get there? I don't eat ice cream very often.
20. When you’re in a store and see this person, you try to not get noticed? ::: question is phrased incorrectly? :::
21. The dumbest thing you’ve done lately is… Trusting a Wiccan mentor who has Aspergers syndrome.
22. The dumbest thing you’ve seen someone else do lately? I saw five SUVs back-to-back run a red light in sequence. JERKS!!!
23. If someone gave u a coloring book and crayons you would… See if Willow would manifest and start drawing.
24. Favorite Disney character? Hmm... I incarnated a bit late for Disney.
25. Favorite Disney movie? It’s a tie. Fern Gully... very Wiccan
26. My dream dinner party would be with… Heck... any dinner party that Partner-Doug comes with me to is fine by me.
27. I would serve _____as the meal.: A buffet of Indian vegetarian delicacies (except that I can't cook worth a damn).
28. And after dinner ________….: ::: figure is out, heh heh :::
29. Last thing someone bought for you?: A co-worker bought me a Diet Coke today. Yay!
30. Someone pranks you…your first guess as to who it is?: Either my co-worker Joann or the manager, Lou.
31. The last person you called a name was? Some ultra-violent junkie-thug. I called him an super-junkie-thug.
32. How do you want to be remembered? Someone who was intersting, loving, spiritual, and kind.
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( 3 / 1351 )Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 09:37 PM - Random Thoughts
Cool... Today was busy but otherwise pretty good. There were no disasters at work, despite being really, really busy. My overally mood has improved back to the point where I started projecting positive energy again. It's good to do that, since projecting feelings of goodwill, happiness, and contentment never hurt anyone. It certainly helps when dealing with angry defendants!
Oh! And it was really sunny! Thistle flew for a long time and it made him so happy! It feels so wonderful to be in communion with Thistle when he flies. I feel the energy he absorbs from the warm, shining sunlight. I am gled he's my protecting angel and companion spirit.
So... Doug and I went to the fourth (and final) Lentin Dinner at church. Holy cow! They really need to figure out that not everyone at church is a meat-eater! All I had to eat was some green beans and some dinner rolls. Aaaiieeee!!! But, even in that I can find something positive to say. See, it's easy to be a vegetarian on a full belly. But I withstood a mighty test tonight. I did not sucuum. I did not break my ethos. Yay. And, of course, that means that I will have been vegetarian a full month as of tomorrow morning!
I got kinda tired for a while, and that made Thistle come to the foreground for a while since I was too tired to remain. He likes to talk to my friends online since it's hard for him to speak verbally. I;m not sure why he has a hard time vocalizing, but it is difficult for him. But he has no problems with online chat, email, and text. I was happy he got to communicate with people who like him.
So... all in all, it was a pretty good day. :)
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( 2.9 / 1227 )Monday, March 10, 2008, 09:51 PM - Random Thoughts
Well... today was better than yesterday. I was able to meditate away some of the negative energy I picked up from rejection by my former mentor. My workday was surprisingly easy today -- I guess that means not too many people got locked up over the weekend. Did the thugs simply behave better on Saturday and Sunday? Hee hee!
I got a decent night's sleep last night. I'm still feeling a bit tired, but if I sleep well tonight, I'll be back at 100%.
There were a few minutes of sunlight (oh well.. better than nothing). So Thistle had a chance to pick up some energy when he flew. I also hit the gym and did 4.5 miles. I think it's good to get back to my usual routine after an unpleasant disruption.
I said a prayer for my former mentor, that he might become well. I decided that I won't study with him again, however, even if he recovers. But I still hope he heals, and I wish him well.
So, it's not too exciting of a blog post. But it could have been worse. After all, Halo came forward over the weekend and didn't hurt the body (good). The handbells went well (good). My workday was refreshingly easy (very, very good). None of the defendants today were surly, mean, or violent (good). The one active warrant I found in the system had already been served, so I didn't have to pursue it (yay!). So sometimes dull can be a restabilizing experience. Hee hee!
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( 3 / 1114 )Saturday, March 8, 2008, 07:01 PM - Random Thoughts
I have to say that my day was about as turbulant as the weather. First... the weather. It started out overcast and drizzly (but warm). Then it rained. Then it got really windy. Then it was sunny for a brief time. Then it got windy again (and much colder). Then it started raining again. Then, just as the sun was setting, the skies cleared again. Man!
Now for my day:
Doug and I did our usual Saturday ritual of eating breakfast at First Watch, and it wasn't too crowded for a change (so that was good). Then I did my usual Saturday ritual of going to the gym and doing the "super-workout" (good). Except the gym was closed for some kind of major repair (bad), so I had to drive to the other side of the city to use the other gym that is part of my membership and burn a bunch of gas at $3.19/gallon (bad). My workout went well (good) and I lost another pound this week (good). Then I got a message on my cell phone that I had been ejected from my Wiccan circle (bad) and I had no idea why.
I got home and contacted one of the other circle members and found out that the leader was having some kind of nervous breakdown and had dissolved the circle and was no longer going to mentor anyone (bad) and wasn't interested in being consoled by anyone, talking with anyone, or generally having any role in anyone else's spiritual development (realy bad). All I can do is say a prayer for him and hope he can recover from his illness. I hope that he can.
So, Doug and I tried a new vegetarian restaraunt that was pretty good AND cheap (good). I got a lime/ginger drink that was so acidic that it made my stomach sick (bad).
So... my day was like the weather: warm/cold, bright/dark, calm/chaotic. I guess some lessons have to be experienced to be learned. Part of life is having days like this. Still, I will think positive thoughts for my friend and mentor during his illness even though I doubt I will become his pupil again. My lessons will have to be learned elsewhere.
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( 3 / 1103 )Wednesday, March 5, 2008, 05:16 PM - Random Thoughts
One of the great things about being a changeling is that I can really feel the change of seasons. There just seemed to be a sense of warm, diffuse, life-energy that permeated the air and the ground today. It was subtle, not overpowering, but just enough that I noticed. To make a visual metaphor, it's like walking into a room that's already lit and then turning on two or three more lights -- it makes everything more visible and warmer. It was a nice feeling and it carried me through a difficult day at work.
Sometimes I feel really connected to the earth in the same way that Thistle feels fulfilled when flying. I wonder if that makes us complementary entities? :)
The time change comes this Sunday to the Eastern Standard Time region of the United States (fyi for Pink, who lives in England). This always helps me a lot because it has the effect of suddenly making the sun set an hour later in the evening. We cherish the sunlight and look forward to having more of it.
I feel really fulfilled and whole being the kind of entity I am. I do believe we're all created for a purpose, and created with love. I am happy to be who I am. Blessed Be.
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( 3 / 1134 )Sunday, March 2, 2008, 08:40 PM - Random Thoughts
I found a cool psych survey. I'm a sucker for things psychological and/or spiritual. I was happy to learn that my profile is "Benevolent Thinker" Yay!!!!
See the Survey Resut
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