Tuesday, January 6, 2009, 12:59 PM
Halo incarnates
Am thinking how body is wrong. Is wrong size. Body is human. Am not human. Am something else. Will never be human. Don't want to be human. Am trapped in human body. Cannot take true form. Is unfair. Hate how the body doesn't work right. Hate feeling clumsy. Hate how we are awkward. Hate how it feels heavy. Lurches. Lumbers. Has no grace. Always am trying to make it work right. But we don't fit well. Am smaller than the human body. Am shorter. Would like body to fit. It doesn't. It won't. Hate feeling mismatched.
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( 3 / 1192 )Monday, January 5, 2009, 06:54 PM
Indigo Incarnates
This was the first day back from vacation. Egads! I had a great big pile of work to do! The supervisor did some of my work while I was away, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I ended up running records all freakin' day. It was tedious and tiring, but I did it. On the bright side, none of the junkie-bums got locked up on new charges. None of the cases self-destructed either. My days was tiring.
As a signal of confidence, my supervisor raised my supervision limit from 20 cases to 30. Eventually I may be able to manage up to 60 drug-thugs. Whooo-hoo! ;)
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Halo got agitated and kept saying how he didn't feel safe. The racing thoughts kept us up well past midnight. :(
I just hate being poor all the time. Eight years of hyperinflation has really made it hard to make ends meet. Now there's a pay cut for State employees. We need to get a new chair and a new sofa. I need to get some new work clothes. Our heating bill was $435 this month (since BGE doubled the rates in 2008). The property tax went up, as did the price of water. But my pay went down. I just feel like such a loser since I can't get replace some things at the house that are utterly worn out.
I feel like a failure.
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( 2.9 / 933 )Sunday, January 4, 2009, 05:22 PM
Indigo Incarnates
I decided to start a Facebook account since I like chatting. I'm keeping the blogs too, but if you want to look me up on Facebook, I'm listed as "Indigo Halo" with the email address indigohalo-at-live.com.
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( 3 / 1150 )Saturday, January 3, 2009, 08:37 AM
Indigo Incarnates
Alas, vacation is over and I am driving the dreaded ten-hour trek back to baltimore. It's always nice visiting Doris and Clint. They are quasi-family, since if I could have chosen a family, I would have chosen them.
I was so happy about Doris baking a cake for Willow. That was just so nice. :)
It was really fun teaching Joe how to drive. It was fun taking the kiddies out to Sonic for milkshakes. And Willow got to play outside in the park. It was cool seeing the college that Doris will soon attend.
This is such a loving and special family. I'm so glad to be part of it even for just two weeks each year.
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( 3 / 1116 )Thursday, January 1, 2009, 05:56 PM
Indigo Incarnates
It was very exciting doing day three of Joe's driving lessons. We actually went onto a 45 MPH road for a while today. He only hit three curbs and one parking pad. Those pesky pedestrians need to stay off the sidewalk of they don't like Joe's driving! Of course, my own driving is nothing to write home about, so it's sort of a case of the blind leading the blind, heh heh. The bright side is that my car is eight years old and already has plenty of dents. ;)
We also got to play at one of the nearby parks. Willow got to go on the swings. He can't manifest for long periods of time, but he did get some "little kid" activity today. It was sunny too, and that always helps Thistle and me.
I took Joe, Timmy, and Angel out to Waffle House for lunch. That was fun. And it's pretty inexpensive too.
Angel earned the Wrath of Doris (justifiably so) for using my computer without permission and reading my private email. Well... fortunately I don't have a lot of racy email coming in (after all, why would a changeling be interested in human porn? Heh heh.) I think Angel will get over it.
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( 3 / 1136 )Wednesday, December 31, 2008, 11:50 AM
Indigo Incarnates
Well, I don't actually have precognition, but then, neither do the cable TV psychics. But I'll give you *my* 2009 predictions without even charging you $1.99/minute! What a deal!
For 2009, this is what I see happening:
-- The economy will keep deteriorating until we reach Great Depression conditions. Barak Obama will have to institute some kind of "New Deal" legislation that may get the country working again in 2010 or 2011.
-- We'll still be in Iraq for 2009 and possibly even 2010.
-- Obama will betray the gay/lesbian community (as every president has).
-- Ford may restabilize. GM will do another beg-a-thon. Chrysler will either get liquidated or do Chapter 11 reorganization.
-- The Honda Insight-II will be a real hit and will outsell the Prius.
-- Red State fools will suddenly go back to buying guzzler-hulk SUVs since gasoline is cheap again, and these same people will wail/gnash their teeth when gas restabilizes at $3/gallon.
-- The Religious Right will make another attempt at amending the U.S. Constitution to discriminate against gays.
-- The Far Right (and Rush Limbaugh) will demonize Obama if the recession lasts beyond April.
-- Windows-7 will be better than Vista, but won't be as good as WinXP. The life cycle of WinXP will be extended an additional year due to the increased use of inexpensive "netbooks".
-- Ford will still refuse to sell the 62 MPG version of the Focus in the USA. (Yes, Ford does make super-efficient compact cars, but you can only get them in Europe).
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( 3 / 1176 )Tuesday, December 30, 2008, 05:57 PM
Indigo Incarnates
It was very interesting today. I tackled getting Doris and Clint's aging desktop back into a more streamlined condition. It's sort of a hobby of mine, hee hee. So it turns out that Shane and Corey had installed a vast amount of what I call "junkware". What's junkware you ask? Those are video games with no uninstall utility, shareware applications that chug the system, duplicate spyware utilities that might actually be malware apps themselves. I was particularly perturbed that the game "Oblivion" has no uninstall utility but takes up 4.1 Gb of hard drive space. Since Shane and Corey moved out two weeks ago, we can delete their junkware apps.
The long and short of it is that the hard drive has about 20% of the hard drive space has been freed and there are a lot fewer popups popping up. I'm guessing that the computer is not on the original processor since it's got an odd configuration. It has a smokin' hot processor (3.1 GHz) but only has an 80 Gb hard drive and 512 Mb RAM. Weird, eh?
Joe got another driving lesson this morning. His confidence behind the wheel is a lot better than yesterday and he executed a 3-point turn with less difficulty. He's also getting better at judging distances when approaching stop signs. I think he's making good progress.
I also got in some good exercise today. Joe and I did a 2-mile power walk at the nearby state park. It was sunny too, and Thistle and I will take whatever sun we can get, since it's so rare at this time of year.
I'm having a really good time this week, but I miss Doug too. It's a real shame our vacations didn't line up this year. Fortunately, that won't be a problem for next year since I'm turning in my vacation slip next Monday, hee hee.
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( 3 / 1124 )Monday, December 29, 2008, 05:15 PM
Indigo Incarnates
I drove Doris's son Joe over to the MVA so he could get his learner's permit for driving. I'm happy to say he passed! The MVA in South Carolina is no more fast or efficient than in Maryland, I'm sad to say. It took Joe a whopping five minutes to pass the written test but we were there for an hour and a half. But now Joe can legally drive a car as long as there's a licensed driver in the passenger seat. Too cool!
We got lunch at Waffle House afterward. We don't have one near Baltimore, so it's a real treat. And it's cheap too -- $8.40 for two people!
I got to walk around Lander University today with Doris. It was sunny and breezy and warm. Thistle and I sure did need the sunlight. It's good to get sunlight, especially after it being overcast in Baltimore for three weeks straight.
Joe got to drive a little bit this afternoon. He actually did okay. He didn't hit any pedestrians and he didn't drive the car into a ditch. Kewl. He did two three-point turns and was also able to park the car with no problem. Basically, we drove around the neighborhood at about 20 MPH for ten minutes or so. It was pretty cool. :)
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( 2.9 / 1073 )Sunday, December 28, 2008, 08:21 AM
Indigo Incarnates
The 10-hour drive is about as much of a drive as I can take. But I made it here in one piece. Yay!
The cool thing is that Doris and Clint waited the extra two days to have Christmas dinner -- so I could be there for it. I don't eat meat, but I had some really good stuffing, bean casserole, home-made crescent rolls, cranberry jelly, mashed yams with nuts, and pumpkin pie. Yum! Her oldest daughter was visiting from college too, so that was nice. Joe liked the 7-inch miniature laptop that he will use when he starts college next year. It's not a power machine, but it sure is portable! I crafted to protection amulets -- one for Timmy and one for Angel. They liked them.
Doris and Clint bought Willow two little toys. That was really nice. Willow doesn't own a lot of stuff. I got a candle that smells like hazelnut coffee, so that's pretty cool :)
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( 3 / 1123 )Saturday, December 27, 2008, 07:41 AM
Indigo Incarnates
I'm really happy that I get to visit my friends Doris and Clint for a week. They're sort of quasi-parental entities to me and they're both really, really nice people.
They sure do live far away from me. It's a 606 mile drive. I have to say that it tests the upper limit of my endurance. But I made it last summer so I'm sure I can do it today. I left the house at 6:30 AM in the hopes of arriving by sunset.
Well... I only drive this far for people I really love :)
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