Saturday, October 18, 2008, 03:12 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates
I started getting my case load this week. I now had 12 ne'er-do-wells under my direct supervision. I've got one burglar, two drunks, and eight junkies and a dope dealer. Ironically, the dope dealer is the only one with a legitimate job too. Eventually my case load will be built up to the 60-70 range. But I am very glad that I'm not in the violent offenders unit. Most of my cases are going to be junkie bums, drunk drivers, and dope dealers.
Doug and I did our usual Saturday morning pancake breakfast at First Watch. The pancakes are huge and the food is pretty inexpensive. Yay!
It was really sunny today and windy. Thistle got to fly for a while. It's good for him to have energy. It will be a shame when the skies grow dark with the upcoming winter. Halo doesn't mind the dark, but it's hard for Thistle (and me too!) Thistle likes the music written by a recording artist named Hae. I'm not sure what Doug thought of it, however, heh heh.
I did a prayer ritual for my mom today. She is very ill and doesn't have a lot of time left. The last time I talked with her, she said she was in pain almost all the time and that she was just getting worn down from being in and out of the hospital all the time. She's down to 81 pounds. She told me she wanted me to remember her how she was when she was healthy. I wish that she was not in pain. I don't want her to go, but I know that it'll be time soon. I hope the cigarette company executives get reincarnated as laboratory rats in their next life.
I went to the gym and did a good workout. The body weighs 182 pounds. I try to stay healthy because I never want to be a burden to Doug.
Oh... I also found out from mom that my bogus sister (Jenny) is basically acting like a teenage slut. She's 36 years old but has been sleeping around town with a seemingly endless string of 20-25-year-old young men. She's still married (but separated) but I imagine she was cheating on her husband long before she moved back to Altoona. Maybe that's also why her finances are so bad: keeping an array of boy-toys happy can get pretty expensive quickly. She didn't put her 16-year-old daughter back in school in Altoona either. She told the school board she is being "home schooled". Yeah, right. Alli (the daughter) has mostly been helping to take care of my mom while Jenny is out whoring around. But she hasn't been schooled at all lately. I find it amazing that Jenny and I actually have the same parents.
Jenny doesn't like to pay bills. She has close to $70,000 in credit card debt and she currently has no income (she ought to become a prostitute, since then she'd be getting cash for her favorite activity). She's declared bankruptcy twice. She also embezzled money from my grandmother (when my grandmother was still alive). By contrast, I have only ONE credit card ($2,100 balance) but I also have $1,900 in a CD, so I'm technically only $200 in debt. Gee... I live within my means. What a concept. When I got my raise, I added $50/month more into automatic retirement savings.
So... that's what's going on this weekend. Whoo-hoo!
[ 3 comments ] ( 10 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1561 )Thursday, October 16, 2008, 08:25 AM - halo's thoughts
halo incarnates
don't want skinny mom to be sick. don't want her to die. don't want her to go away. don't want to be alone. am sad.
angry desert god is mean. makes nice people get sick. makes bad people get rich and live well. makes nice people have bad lives. makes bad people have good lives. angry desert god is a mean god. mean people serve the mean god.
am worried that angry desert god will hurt us soon. yhvh is mean to us. has hurt us before. likes to hurt us. don't know why. don't know why angry desert god hurts us and blesses people who hurt us.
wish skinny mom could get better. wish she wasn't sick. am worried. am sad.
[ 3 comments ] ( 12 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1362 )Wednesday, October 15, 2008, 12:47 PM
Indigo Incarnates
The election is only about three weeks away and we finally have a chance to end the Bush reign of corruption and fiscal irresponsibility. While Obama may lack experience, he also lacks the entrenched allegiance to the RNC's network of power brokers and behind-the-scenes manipulators.
If Obama gets elected as our next President, here's what I would like him to accomplish:
-- Start making the rich pay taxes again. Bush enacted the biggest tax cut for the rich ever recorded in American history. we now have the biggest national debt on the Earth to prove it. We can start fixing our country's financial problems if the extremely wealthy actually start paying their fair share.
-- Abolish Patriot Act. I never did see what's so "patriotic" about the systematic use of torture against detainees, not holding suspects indefinitely without legal counsel or judicial review. For illegal aliens charged with crimes, they should be tried and deported (if found innocent) or tried, sentenced, and deported upon completion of their sentence (if found guilty).
-- Get tough on corporations that hire illegal aliens. Not only are illegal aliens a threat to public safety (I work in law enforcement so I know what I'm talking about), the widespread employment of undocumented labor allows corporations to essentially cheat on paying payroll taxes. Additionally, the illegal aliens clog the hospitals begging for free medical care when they are injured on these undocumented jobs because their employers don't provide health insurance and they cannot claim relief from IWIF. CEOs who allow their company to hire illegal aliens should face real jail time as well as hefty fines.
-- End the Iraq War. This war costs $10 billion per month and accomplishes absolutely nothing but carnage and misery for the Iraqi people in addition to getting vast numbers of American soldiers killed and/or mutilated.
-- Get our bailout money back: While Bush seemed pretty giddy about giving his billionaire buddies a nice "going away" present that's carried on the taxpayers' backs, Obama should do whatever necessary to get that money back. A trillion dollars is a lot of money to just hand over to irresponsible, super-rich speculators.
-- Enact salary caps on executive compensation. An executive should not make more than 100x more than that of the mean salary of non-executive employees. One of the reasons why Corporate America is falling apart is that the executives at the top are simply paid way more than they are worth. It's just not morally justifiable that a company with a $2.1 billion dollar payroll budget should direct $1.5 billion of that budget for one person to take home. When it comes to downsizing, the statute should be that no massive layoff of front-line personnel may take place without a corresponding percentage decrease in executive pay. for example, GM has laid off approximately 30% of its work force, but Bob Lutz's salary hasn't decreased by a penny. His pay should, in the sake of fairness, be decreased by 30%.
-- Fix Social Security. This can be done in two ways. First, make the rich pay their Social Security taxes (currently, people with income over $80,000 per year stop paying into the system once they've made $80,000 that year. Thus, Bob Lutz stops paying into Social Security around January 3rd each year). Second, boot off all of the junkie bums that are using unjustifiable excuses for getting disability (being addicted to heroin and cocaine is NOT the same as bipolar disorder, but they claim bipolar disorder all the time, and thus get a free ride for life).
-- Level the playing field on imports. Goods produced in countries with major civil rights offenses should be taxed and/or banned from import. Personally, I try to avoid buying a denim jacked that was fabricated by a 7-year-old child handcuffed to a sewing machine in China.
-- Allow gays to serve in the military and enact Civil Union legislation that would give gay and lesbian couples a set of legal protections similar to those enjoyed by heterosexual married couples. We don't live in a theocratic oligarchy, so there is no reason why a strictly secular (non-religious) recognition of same-sex relationships would in any way "undermine" any heterosexual couple's church-authorized marriage. It's just a matter of fairness. Gays pay the same taxes as straights, and thus should have access to all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities that straits enjoy -- and that includes legal recognition of their domestic cohabitation and also the right to serve in the military.
-- Abolish the Department of Homeland Security. This branch of government does not appear to have any useful function and yet costs taxpayers billions of dollars per year. Start the government downsizing here!
[ 1 comment ] ( 9 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 1355 )Monday, October 13, 2008, 09:36 AM
Indigo Incarnates
Well... it looks like we're finally coming to the End of an Error, the last few weeks before we get to choose a new President. I've Given George W Bush report card ratings before, so I figure it's time for his grades now that "finals" are over.
ECONOMY: F
I give the Dubya a failing grade on the economy. Under his watch, food and fuel prices have risen at triple-digit inflation (which, the national inflation index conveniently does not calculate these two items). He drove out country into eight trillion dollars of new debt, thus devaluing our currency overseas. He turned a blind eye to corporate theft and corruption, then had the nerve to make the taxpayers foot the bill for a trillion-dollar Wall Street bailout. He signed a bill forbidding a member of the middle class from getting bankruptcy protection, but he'll hand GM a check for $25 billion. He cut taxes for the rich while making student loans for the poor more difficult to repay. Bush sure does like outsourcing, however: under his watch, $885 billion dollars transferred out of the middle class and into the hands of the top 1% -- permanently. Basically, there was not one piece of legislation that he signed that helped the middle class. However, EVERY piece of legislation he signed did help large corporations and the rich.
SOCIETY: F
We haven't had such a divisive, non-harmonious society since the McCarthy era. Bush stoked the fears of Red State voters with how gays were evil and had a sinister "agenda". He pitted gays versus straights, rich versus poor, evangelical versus mainstream, conservative versus liberal, white versus black, and corporations versus individuals. He castigated anyone who disagreed with his policies as "unpatriotic". He shamed our nation by instituting torture. He twice tried to make bigotry part of the Constitution (with his anti-gay proposals). There have been few people with the power to divide like Dubya has shown.
ENVIRONMENT: D
I'll give Bush the benefit of the doubt that he probably thought that the corn ethanol project was an environmentally sound and viable idea. It just didn't work out that way. It had the actual effect of raising food and fuel prices at the same time. corn is also not a particularly efficient crop for fuel production (sugar cane is MUCH better, but the USA doesn't really have the climate for it.) Where I fault Bush, however, is his failure to extend the hybrid car tax credits (which made these fuel-efficient cars more affordable to the middle class) while at the same time extending the Hummer/Escalade tax credit (which gave the wealthy a huge payback for buying luxury SUVs that get about 10 MPG.) Bush also wanted to drill out our National Parks instead of investing resources in alternate energy (such as nuclear, solar, wind, etc). He was also willing to fork over billions of dollars to GM for their failed Fuel Cell projects (hint: a car that costs a million dollars each to build but has a service life of 50,000 miles is never going to be mainstream).
NATIONAL SECURITY: F
It cracks me up to this day that the conservatives consider Bush to be the hero of 911. The terrorists were able to accomplish what they did because Bush was like a locomotive engineer who fell asleep at the switch. The guy just hardly ever shows up for work. As commander-in-chief, it is Bush's duty to attend National Security briefings, but he can't be bothered. He also started an incredibly costly war in Iraq that didn't need to be fought. The war was initiated on a premise of organized deception of the Congress and the American People. The Iraq War has had the effect of making us LESS safe because now even more terrorist cells have us in their crosshairs. Bush GAVE them a concrete reason to hate us. Considering that the 911 terrorists were all illegal aliens, an effective president would have cracked down on illegal immigration. However, Bush doesn't want to keep his mega-corporate special interests from having a pool of undocumented, underpaid labor. Bush is willing to trade the security of our borders so that Big Business can cheat on payroll taxes. He did institute the Department of Homeland Security, which turned out to be a miserable failure (as anyone who lives in New Orleans can personally testify). Bush also instituted illegal wiretapping of US citizens but is unwilling to go after Islamic "charities" that collect money for terrorist organizations. The TSA was another Bush invention that had the effect of making old ladies in wheelchairs take their shoes off before boarding airplanes but doesn't make air travel any safer (since TSA agents aren't allowed to question grubby-looking young Middle Eastern men with one-way tickets and no luggage). Bush also fired every gay employee he could detect -- even ones who were Arabic translators!
DOMESTIC PERFORMANCE: F
Under Bush's watch, he revoked bankruptcy protection (unless you're a recipient of the recent trillion-dollar Wall Street Bailout Bonanza). He took a 30-day vacation during Hurricane Katrina and couldn't be bothered to respond to the crisis. He tried (and failed -- thankfully) to allow financial institutions access to citizens' medical records for the purpose of assigning a credit rating ("Sorry, Mr Jones, we can't approve your mortgage because you had cancer five years ago.") He made college loans more difficult to repay. He tried (and failed -- thankfully) to farm out Social Services to the Evangelical Right ("Sorry, Mr Smith, we're denying your application for food stamps because you're a Wiccan.") He tried (and failed -- thankfully) to hand Social Security over to Wall Street ("Sorry, Ms. Livingston, you don't get a check this month. The Dow is down 700 points!") He tried to put discrimination into the Constitution twice via his anti-gay amendment proposals (if he wanted to defend marriage, just outlaw divorce!) His latest idea (which McCain has adopted) is to tax health insurance benefits (about as regressive a tax on the poor and middle class as there can be) and would have the net effect of making insurance unaffordable for vast numbers of people.
LEADERSHIP: F
What can I say? Bush is the most vacation-taking president in American history. He is answerable to no one. He abides by no criticism. He won't ever change his mind on any issue no matter how blatantly he's been proven to be incorrect ("Just stay the course!") He operates in secrecy. His administration has been one of institutionalized corruption (how many no-bid contracts can Halliburton actually get?) Dick Cheney has basically been missing in action for eight years straight but seems to be paid nonetheless. Bush's cowboy policies have shamed America all over the world. Basically, Bush collected a presidential pay but never actually did anything presidential.
----> FINAL GRADE: F
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1317 )Sunday, October 12, 2008, 09:40 AM
Thistle Incarnates
It continues to be difficult for Indigo and Halo to understand the concept of a loving, masculine God. I think of this now, for Indigo retreated now that we attend church this morning. It is the Sunday in which it is our duty to participate in choir. But Indigo rarely feels welcome in church and Halo is desperately uncomfortable in church. So I am now manifest and I write this now.
I wish there was a way for Indigo and Halo to know that God is not a hateful and capricious deity. The Old Testament was written by humans who tried their best to understand God. It is really all we can do. In that time, humanity was at an earlier stage of development, and the tribes of Israel existed in a rugged and hostile environment. These two factors shaped the Old Testament writers' view of God. And there is a facet of God for whome discipline and obedience is important, but it is far from being all that God is.
Indigo and Halo's view of God have been contaminated by the systematic abuse they experienced at the hands of the father-monster. But to young children, their parents are as gods -- all knowing, all powerful, life-giving. And so it came to be that the child-Indigo's vision of God was warped by the random, capricious cruelty he sustained at the hands of the father-monster. The father did not provide. The father lied. The father withheld love. The father would not forgive. The father inflicted punishment greatly in excess of the transgression. So Indigo and Halo came to believe that God punishes in excess of the transgression, that God lies, that God fails to provide, and that God withholds love.
Intellectually, Indigo understands this. Intellectually, Halo does not.
The spiritual wound has left a painful scar. I would say that it has healed somewhat, but the healng is incomplete and the scarring is of the type that disables.
The path of Wicca appeals to them because the focus is on a femal deity that loves and nurtures. I can understand why they musy identify with Deity in such a way.
It is good that the Creator is neither male nor female, and that prayers and actions done in love and true faith honor God whether God is viewed as male of female. God gave us life and God understands that humans have limitations to their perception and can have altered perception as a result of damage. God forgives those who have love and faith; it matters not whether the Creator is addressed as "God" or "Goddess".
God loves that which is true, honest, loving, pleasing, joyful, and honorable. Christianity has this. Wicca has this.
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3.2 / 1850 )Saturday, October 11, 2008, 09:37 PM
am willow
trees are getting sleepy
can feel them going to sleep
good for them to have rest
leaves are red and yellow
pretty
soon they will be asleep
good for them to rest
they give so much
trees are nice
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1413 )Friday, October 10, 2008, 08:18 AM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates
Egads! The "dark" time of year is pretty much at hand. It's pitch black when I get up in the morning and the sun is just crossing the horizon by the time I get to work. My energy level goes way down and I'm a lot more prone to depression when I can't get enough sunlight. Changelings need sunlight. It's going to really be distressing when the clocks change for daylight savings time (an antiquated practice that I wish would be abandoned). The practice of adjusting the clocks by an hour has the effect of making it be dark at 5:00pm. Once that happens, I basically won't see the sun again until spring since my office has no windows, I arrive for work pretty early, and I get off at 4:30pm. By the time I get home, it will be dark. I'm really not looking forward to that. I've survived it every other year and I'm sure this year won't be any different. But that doesn't mean I like it.
My mom's health continues to deteriorate. She's down to 90 pounds. I feel really sad for her, since she spent almost 40 years having an alcohol problem and being a heavy smoker. About two years ago she went to detox and quit alcohol and got her smoking down to about a pack per week. The damage was done, however. And then Uncle Jimmy did a bunch of unsafe home improvements that had the net effect of being the straw that broke the camel's back. All the dust and mold from his cheap/shoddy demolition/reconstruction pushed mom's lung condition from "dangerous" to "terminal". So mom won't get to enjoy sobriety very long. I really feel sad about this because I love her very much. It always seems that rich psychopaths get whatever they want, whenever they want it, and never have to face repercussions for what they have done. I wish that Uncle Jimmy would have to pay for what he's done, but he never will. He follows YHVH, and the angry desert god rewards the strong, the rich, and the cruel.
I start getting my own cases on Tuesday. I am glad that my office is away from the rest of the Case Agents here. I won't get easily sucked into the office politics or the tangled web of gossip and drama. I think most of my coworkers are kinda phoney anyway. After all, not one single person will own up to making an anonymous complaint about my Tree of Life, but one of them must have for me to so quickly have been ordered to take it down. I'm not going to make a retaliatory complaint, since the various Christian sloganeering in their offices don't actually offend me and I don't spend much time in their offices. But it does bother me that I am the subject of a double standard and that someone finds Wicca "offensive". Well, there has never been a "holy" war instigated by Wiccans, and no Wiccan has ever burned a Christian at the stake. so whose faith is "offensive"?
[ 1 comment ] ( 33 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1488 )Wednesday, October 8, 2008, 11:32 AM
Indigo Incarnates
So, on my first day at my new worl location, I discovered that the majority of the employees have "Jesus" stuff hanging on their walls. This could be a cross/crucifix, a framed Bible message, an inspirational posted with a scripture passage, or whatever. So, I felt emboldened to hang up my Wiccan "Tree of Life" wall hanging.
It was up for 90 minutes before somebody complained to both the supervisor and the supervisor's boss. Apparently the anonymous plaintiff declared that my Tree of Life was "offensive" and that Wicca is a "creepy religion". So I was ordered to take down my Tree of Life.
Now, the Christians still get to keep all of their religious inspirational stuff in place. I also found out from a Jewish employee that she got the same response when she tried putting a Star of David on her office wall.
What's creepier? An image of a tree, or an image of someone being crucified? Gimmie a break.
Double standards suck.
[ 3 comments ] ( 53 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1399 )Monday, October 6, 2008, 07:03 PM
Indigo Incarnates
I had a sort of blogging disaster that shook my confidence last week. I closed my blog until I got a grip on things. The trouble with being an alter instead of a full person is that alters lack a certain amount of resiliency that whole people have.
But I'm getting better again. :)
[ 6 comments ] ( 110 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 917 )Wednesday, October 1, 2008, 07:53 AM
Indigo Incarnates
I had my first experience doing community visits this week. this is a Case Agent duty that involves driving to the defendant's residence to determine if he/she really lives at that location. This was a real trip.
In the ghetto, it seems there are only two kinds of services open. There are a whole bunch of itty-bitty fundamentalist independednt churches (read Christocult) with groovy names like "Living Water Bible Tabernacle Christian Worship Church". Yeah, as Java pointed out, the smaller the church, the longer a name it has. The other service the ghetto offers are these ratty, hole-in-the-wall liquor stores that also do lotto, prepaid cards, and check cashing. In the latter, it's more likely that it's welfare check cashing.
Even at 9:30AM, there were plenty of scuzzy-looking prostitutes and scarecrow-like junkie bums staggering about like they were in a B-rated zombie flick. Then, of course, you can tell where the dope dealers live: it's the Secion-8 townhouse with the Lexus SUV parked out front. Most of the slums are boarded up and some are even bricked up.
One welfare mama we visited greeted us with a shank. Nice. At least we didn't get stabbed with it. Another yelled "F-- You" at us for no reason. I was crackin' up!
It's always exciting at pretrial.
[ 2 comments ] ( 68 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink |
( 3 / 1120 )Back Next
