Wednesday, June 18, 2008, 08:11 PM - Cool Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
I got approved for some vacation time in early July, so I will get to visit my friend Doris in South Carolina. Yay! Since my non-working lazy coworker was absent two days straight, I got my vacation slip posted before she could (she usually takes that week off). So when she comes in tomorrow and finds the vacation slot taken, I get to say "toooooo baaaaad", hee hee hee! I'd feel bad about it, but I've been picking up her slack for two years straight. Doris is a totally awesome friend. She has REALLY helped Halo stabilize over the past four months too. It'll be really nice seeing her, her husband, and her family.
Work wasn't as bad today as yesterday. I still got stuck with training new employees because the Training Coordinator mostly came around at the beginning of the day and barked out "Here's your trainees. Train them!" Her pay grade is about ten levels higher than mine, but I have no idea what she actually DOES; neither does anyone else. I think the problem she has is that she doesn't actually know what an intake investigator does, therefore she can't train the new recruits. Why she occupies that position, I couldn't say.
I was pleasantly surprised that one of the trainees had a couple questions about Wiccan ethics. So I explained that "sin" doesn't really exist in Wicca, but instead practitioners are to instead avoid harming others. Fundamentalist Christians always cite how sin-free they are while finding legalistic ways to do harm to others. Likewise, there are certain "sins" that don't really hurt anybody. In Wicca, the morality is a bit more clear-cut. If it hurts someone, don't do it; if it doesn't hurt someone, it's okay to do it. Wiccans care about the environment because the Earth is a gift from the God and Goddess and is also infused with Divine energy. Christians view the Earth as something disposable; they think once they finish raping/stripping the Earth, Jesus will miraculously show up and lift all the Christians straight to heaven. Egads. So... the trainee thought that was pretty interesting.
It was pretty cool after work. A storm rolled through Baltimore briefly. Thistle flew threw it and he really liked it. The sky was so full of potential energy. It made my skin tingle as Thistle flew. It was wonderful. Thistle was happy. :)
I'm visiting my mom this weekend. She's interested in Wicca too, so we're going to do a Litha Sabbat (Midsummer Solstice) prayer ritual while I'm visiting. Oh... since PA doesn't charge tax on clothes, I'm going to pick up some new threads as well. Yay!
So... Today was a pretty good day. :)
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( 3 / 1266 )Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 09:33 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates
I won't call it a "bad" day, since nothing really bad happened. I will say it wasn't the luckiest day I ever had, however. I got stuck with training three new trainees at work on a really busy day. We have a Training Coordinator who seems to do basically nothing, since the Investigation unit always ends up doing all of the new-hire training. The Coordinator mostly sits in her office and/or comes out and barks orders. That's pretty much what she did today. Yowza.
I lost energy for a little while today, but Halo was able to incarnate for half an hour. That time was enough for me to regain enough energy to incarnate the rest of my duty shift. One of my coworkers is psychic and she can see when other people incarnate, so she noticed Halo. Fortunately, it doesn't seem like anyone else did.
So... I totally hate my T-Mobile phone but I can't upgrade until December. I have a spare Cingular phone that I like, but they won't give me the subsidy unlock code. To add insult to injury, they made me wait a WEEK to tell me they wouldn't do it. Yes, they cited a one-week waiting period for the code. At the end of the week, I called back and the person said that my request had been refused. And they wonder why AT&T/Cingular scored rock bottom for customer service?
My "Bush Bribery Check" came and I put it in the bank (btw... the $600 isn't going to make me vote Republican -- now or ever), so I wanted to get a new stereo for my 2001 Accord. Alas, Circuit City can't adapt a new stereo to a really old car. ::blech:: I wanted an iPod dock for the car. I guess that's not going to happen. Well, I'm planning on buying a hybrid in 2011 anyway. Heck with it.
On the bright side, I DID get to have a nice dinner with my beloved partner, Doug. And it's looking like I might be able to visit my friend Doris for a few days next month. Oh, and I've been given a "Blog With A Purpose" award by San. Yay!!!
So, it's not ALL bad luck today :)
And hey, the great thing about Wicca is that we don't have YHVH slamming our heads against rocks for His own amusement. In Wicca, sometimes "shit happens", heh heh.
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( 3 / 1162 )Monday, June 16, 2008, 06:13 PM - halo's thoughts
halo incarnates
hates the father-monster's words. always said am bad, am defective, am worthless, am shameful.
hate myself. hate being freak. hate beung cast away. father-monster hated us. scorned us. shamed us.
place in the darkness
if we don't move, they can't see us
not afraid of the dark
hated having to steal for food
hated seeing dog get fed but not us
hated not eating
hated being hated
cares nothng for fathers day
just a day
just a day
a dead horror
will not be haunted
hate myself. hate how it was. hate having those thoughts. hate having memories. dead horrors.
am not afraid of the dark
am not afraid to cut
am not afraid to see our blood
feel numb
am not undead
am alive
feel numb
want to cut. am not cutting. want to bleed. am not bleeding. blood pays for sins. didn't do anything wrong. blood pays for sins. we didn't do it. didn't do anything wrong. didn't do anything wrong. hated living in fear. hated feeling like a coward. hated being afraid all the time. hated being hit. hated being hungry.
am not a coward. am not a coward. am not afraid of the dark. am not afraid to cut. am not afraid to bleed.
death is easy. living is hard. am not a coward. will not destroy this body with knives and scissors.
have seen the heart of darkness.
am what remains. we did not die.
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( 3 / 2157 )Sunday, June 15, 2008, 10:52 AM
Indigo Incarnates
Dewey (aka Doug, aka my beloved partner) tagged me with a MeMe thing, so here goes:
In five syllables, describe your worst movie.
In seven syllables, describe your worst date
In five syllables, describe your worst job.
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"Glitter"
Now, I'm usually a big fan of rotten movies that are poorly done. After all, I've watched "Dune" dozens of times ("I... see the truth of it now.") And I LOVE the MST3K series. But Glitter was just too much to take.
"Glitter" was a movie about a woman from the ghetto trying to make it big in the recording industry. The acting was ghastly. The sound processing was just unbelievably awful. For instance, many scenes were filmed in various nightclubs and the background music was so LOUD that you actually couldn't hear the dialogue! I had to put on the Closed Captioning just so I could know what's going on. And lemme tell ya: understanding the dialogue didn't help. It was just once cliche after another. It was one of perhaps five movies in my whole life that I've turned off without watching the whole thing.
CLICHE MOVIE, BAD SOUND
* * * * * * * * * * *
"Worst Date Ever"
Before I met Doug, I had a date with a charming guy who (after a few dates) invited me to his parents house for dinner. I was thinking "how nice!" Well... What I didn't know was that he was STILL IN THE CLOSET, and that he decided to choose that evening to tell his parents that he was gay. Egads!
So, here I am, in an ultra blue-collar neighborhood in Dundalk, having dinner with my lover's family. His dad was a plumber whose biceps were almost as big around as my thighs. Oy! And here's my lover saying, "Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something: I'm gay and this is my lover."
Stunned silence.
Then the Plumber-dad-who-could-benchpress-a-Buick said, "Son, why'd you bring this goddamned faggot around my house?!"
Needless to say, I didn't stay for dessert!
OUTED AT DINNER, KICKED OUT
* * * * * * * * * * *
"Roof Systems Design"
I was an indentured servant once. In order to pay for college, I agreed to work for my sociopath father for three years following college. Egads. Yeah, it was a deal with the devil, but I did want to have an education, and father-monster wasn't about to give me anything for FREE. So, I did a $40k job for $16k for three years as part of the deal. I held up my end, but father-monster enjoyed having three more years in which he could be cruel and nasty to me.
So... for three years, I had to put up with slave wages, a 50-60 hour workweek (w/ no overtime paid), getting stiffed on travel expenses, and having him humiliate me in front of his clients with barefaced lies like "Well, yeah, I took pity on him because he's not really all that smart and no one would hire him". I missed exactly ONE day due to illness over a 3-year period and he never forgave me -- ever. He screamed at me at work and blamed me for everything that went wrong (like, gasp, a company truck with 250,000 miles on it *suddenly* needing tires, brakes, a tune-up, and a battery). Yeah, he actually demanded angrily "What the f--- did you do to the f---ing truck?!" Uh... it's 8 years old and past it mileage warranty by a factor of 4x.
Then he had a relapse in his alcoholism (he was a "functional" alcoholic before, but the last year I worked for him he just slid into the abyss). So, he'd skip work for weeks at a time. Meanwhile, we lost all our clients because HE was the only one with contract-signing capability for the company (see, he liked having the POWER). So, when there was work to be done but El Heffe wasn't around to authorize the work, the clients went elsewhere. Oh, and the whole staff quit too, except for me and Robert.
So, the last few weeks I worked there, the old man sobered up a bit. He strode into the office one day and discovered that the staff was gone, the clients were gone, we were about to get evicted from the office, and the bank was furious about the overextended line-of-credit. So, instead of saying "I've been a goddamned drunk for ten months", he screamed at me "You've RUINED my BUSINESS!"
Well, I only had to put up with that crap for a couple weeks. It took me a whopping 48 hours to get hired somewhere else, and I held that job for ten years (moving from Sales Associate to District Manager int he process). So much for being "too stupid to get hired anywhere".
He DID, however, tell just about everyone in the roofing industry who would listen to him that I somehow managed to "sabotage" his business, and that I was "fired for incompetence". He left out the fact that he drained the company dry over a 14 year period, retired a multi-millionaire, and basically stiffed the bank on the corporate line of credit. He also left out the fact that the reason he lost his clients was that he was a falling-down drunk who never showed up for work for ten months straight.
Yeah... that was the worst job ever.
MEAN DRUNK BOSS, BAD DAD
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I'm tagging Java and Joan with this MeMe. Have Fun! :)
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( 3 / 1090 )Saturday, June 14, 2008, 10:26 AM
Indigo Incarnates
Well, my back started feeling mostly better yesterday, and I was pretty glad for that. It's a real drag when old injuries (the kind that never fully heal right) flare up once in a while. It's part of life, but it's not much fun. But it was mostly better yesterday and I feel okay this morning too.
My workplace disaster is not going to get me fired ::whew:: but it is nearly certain that I am no longer being considered for the job of Case Agent. That sucks, but it could have been so much worse. I can't imagine trying to find a new job under Bushonomics, where anything that pays a living wage has been shipped to China or India.
Speaking of Bushonomics, I noticed that gasoline jumped 8 cents in one day in my neighborhood. It must be wonderful to be part of the Bil Oil regime. I guess they know that Peak Oil is happening now and they want to cash in right before the oil reserves run out completely.
I went to a Wiccan worship service last night. It's a nice group. It's an open circle instead of a coven, so members can come and go as they choose, and the service does not require exactly 13 people to function. A traditional coven is pretty much a closed entity that has exactly 13 practitioners. An open circle can have as few as three and as many as desired, and members don't have to join for life. Needless to say, I'm a big fan of open circles and would be loathe to join a coven.
Oh... And I learned that there is actually such thing as a fundamentalist Wiccan. I thought the two words were mutually exclusive, but it's not. Apparently the Gardnarian tradition (denomination) sorta thinks they are the only TRUE witches. The worship only in covens, they do their ceremonies in the nude (skyclad), and think that self-initiated Wiccans aren't real Wiccans. I have no beef with #1 and #2, since that's basically a personal choice. #3 doesn't make any since, as it begs the question: who initiated the first Wiccan? Ha Ha Ha. I took an online survey and found that I fit best into the Reclaiming Tradition of Wicca, since I prefer open circles to covens, I think self-initiated Wiccans are legitimate, and I focus more on worship than on casting spells. But hey, to each his/her own! :)
I'm feeling kinda lazy this morning. It's been a tough week, and I wasn't feeling well for part of it. I'm sure I'll get my rear-end off the couch at some point today, har har.
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( 2.9 / 1154 )Thursday, June 12, 2008, 07:08 PM
Halo incarnates
am tired. Really tired. Was a hard day. Low energy. Numb. Indigo had a sore back. Halo is numb. Here now. No pain. Feels numb. Will be here so back won't hurt. Am tired. Want to cut. Am too tired to go ustairs. Lancelet is upstairs. Cuts with lancelet. Am too tired. Immobilized. Am so tired.
want to rest. Cn hardly ever do so. Am so tired. So tired. Want to rest. So tired. Have so litte energy
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( 3 / 1107 )Wednesday, June 11, 2008, 10:32 PM
Indigo incarnates
i had a total disaster at work today. Somehow a file got mixed up in a catastrophic way. The long and short of it is the wrong person got arrested. I'm probably going to get a written reprimand and have no shot at getting a promotion anytime soon. The thing I haven't figured out yet is HOW the mistake happened in the first place. What happened shouldn't have been possible to happen. And yet it did.
my day at work really sucked.
Poor Scrunchie (the fuzzy cat) was feeling sick too, so we had to take him to the vet. Apparently he has some sort of stomach bug that a course of antibiotics will fix. At least he's going to be okay.
on the bright side: I've been a Wiccan for FOUR months now (and a vegetarian too!) The good thing about Wicca is the firm knowledge that sometimes shit happens. the Goddess doesn't thrrow caltrops in our path to "test our faith" like YHVH enjoys doing. nope... Someties shit happens and that's just part of life. Tomorrow is a new day.
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( 3 / 1039 )Tuesday, June 10, 2008, 09:12 PM
am willlow! :)
getting stormy. neat!
can hear wind blowing
rumbly thunder
sky flashes
booms
cooler now
am glad
not so hot now
not afraid of storms
thistle likes storms too
not afraid if he's not afraid :)
wind sounds nice
lola-beastie doesn't like thunder
petting lola-beastie so she won't be afraid
nice dog
pointy ears
little legs
big eyes
licky tongue
likes to lick my hand
might rain soon
will be nice
trees like rain
they were getting thirsty
like trees a lot :)
they're nice
will sleep soon
bye bye :)
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( 3 / 1034 )Monday, June 9, 2008, 09:36 PM
am willow :)
is so hot here. sky was bright. sun is so strong! took cool shower. felt better. cool water is nice. good to feel clean. can go to sleep now and not be stinky. :)
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( 3.1 / 1120 )Sunday, June 8, 2008, 08:10 PM
Indigo Incarnates
I did my super-workout yesterday. I did 9 miles and 1,245 calories. Yay! I wanted to do some bicycling, but it was 98 degrees yesterday. Egads! Of course, I can take the heat, but why risk it when I have a gym membership, heh heh.
Last night was Game Night. The adventure entailed the party having to investigate why infant children in the East End were mysteriously vanishing. Of course, it turns out that the mysterious beings known as the Shadow Lords were behind the kidnappings. The town mayor was on the take as well, since he was being paid to allow the Shadow Lords harvest kiddies only in the poor section of town. So, the investigation culminated with a fight against an evil, demon-empowered Priest and his evil secretary. the hilarious thing is that the adventurers dealt with the evil priest pretty quickly but were unable to defeat the secretary! The only way they got her out of the way was to blast a hole in the floor and lock her in the basement. Ha ha ha ha!
This morning was Handbell Sunday at church. Thistle incarnated for the first service, since he REALLY likes church, likes ringing handbells, and likes really old church music. Of course, he *is* a Christian, too, and that helps. I was in a funky mood and didn't want to be seen by anyone so I was happy to let Thistle incarnate.
Unfortunately, Thistle has only a limited ability to physically incarnate, so he was unable to do both services. Halo came to the foreground and was absolutely miserable. Like me, Halo is someone who is not particularly loved by the Old Testament God. He and I are Wiccans for a reason: the Mother Goddess isn't afraid of the dark and doesn't hate injured and broken people. So he was glad when church was over. It's hard for him to be in sunlight. I bought a pair of prescription sunglasses for him a few years ago. They came in handy today.
It's still pretty hot in Baltimore. It's a good thing that George Bush and Pat Robertson (noted ecologists) say there's no such thing as global warming, ha ha.
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