Friday, June 23, 2006, 09:01 PM
I had this odd dream about a one-eyed submarine captain. The odd thing is that he didn't have an eye patch or anything like that. He had just the one eye -- in the middle of his forehead. He was a cyclopse.
Now, just because he was a cyclopse didn't mean he was a bad guy. He wasn't. He used to have two eyes as well, but some sort of undersea monster somehow stole one of his eyes.
He commanded a really fascenating submarine. It was some kind of experimental model, one of a kind. It looked vaguely like a gigantic pepper mill. Along the outer hull, a sort of revolving luminescent cable swung around it, like a barber pole stripe. It propelled the sub by creating an electromagnetic effect that pushed the sub. This was a nearly silent propulsion system.
Inside the submarine, the cyclopse captain announced that the ship was going to try to find the creature that stole one of his eyes. The ship entered "silent running" mode, which made most of the interior lighring flicker out. I assumed that the intense electromagnetic effect from the experimental drive also made the lights malfunction.
The ship dove to some incredible depth. Perhaps it was in one of the deep trenches (like the Marianis Trench).
The water around the submarine was perfectly clear, yet black as night. Even though I don't really have a sense of touch when I dream, o intellectually knew that the water was very pure but also very cold.
The submarine had a remote sensor it used to scout ahead. It found the creature. It looked like a gigantic venus flytrap that had a huge single eye (presumably the captain's). Unfortunately, the eye had grown proportionally with the plant. So I had no idea how the submarine caprain would ever use that eye again. His missing eye was as large as the captain's entire head!
I don't know what happened next, since I woke up.
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( 3 / 1181 )Friday, June 23, 2006, 08:54 AM
I had a clever idea after a haughty bitch in a Hummer H3 flipped me the bird after parking her land-yacht in such a way as to take up two parking spaces (leaving no space for me). Hybrids actually generate a lot of electricity. My 1st Generation hybrid produces 144 volts, while some of the 2nd Generation models produce between 330v and 500v. What if all this excess power could be used to drive a portable, handheld EMP gun? That would be cool.
The great thing about EMP weapons is that they fry electronics but don't harm human beings. So the hybrid owners of America could rid our country of the SUV plague just by zapping them with an EMP. The land-yachts' ignition computer would fry and the vehicle would be rendered inert.
You could then recycle the Hummers for scrap metal (to produce more hybrids, hopefully!)
Alas, such a dream could never come true since EMP weapons are illegal, as is malicious destruction of property. But it would make great pulp fiction!
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( 3 / 1143 )Tuesday, June 20, 2006, 08:28 AM
I've seen a few news stories lately about how most of the hospitals in this country have critically overcrowded ER sections. Since Bush was elected, the number of ER visits at most hospitals has risen over 40%. Have people suddenly become sicker and more accident-prone over the past six years?
Hardly.
What HAS happened is that Bush scaled back enforcement of illegal alien hiring practices by 95%. Over the past six years, our country has become flooded with illegal aliens who are both extremely poor and devoid of health insurance. When these "guest workers" [trespassers] get sick or are injured on the job, they have no recourse but to go to the nearest hospital ER.
As the flood of illegal aliens has systematically driven down wages, many American citizens have also found themselves impoverished and without insurance. After all, what Bush-supporting megacorporation is going to pay an American citizen $12/hour plus insurance, plus workers' comp, when that same company can pay an illegal alien $5/cash under-the-table, not pay taxes, and not pay health insurance? When American citizens are forced to compete with illegal aliens, the Americans either lose their jobs, or simply take a drastic pay cut and lose their health insurance.
But Bush likes illegal aliens. Bush likes a steady stream of disposable workers who do dangerous, backbreaking work for pennies on the dollar. Bush, I believe, likes the idea of slavery and his immigration policy is a close second to that idea. He doesn't care who he has to make poor in order that the wealthiest 1% can become even obscenely richer.
So our hospitals take the brunt of this policy. You can die waiting in the ER because the hospital waiting area loks like some Third World hell hole.
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( 3 / 1256 )Monday, June 19, 2006, 07:14 PM
Every once in a while I get this sort of migraine attack that has all the features of a migraine headache, except for the headache part. In other words, I get dizzy, my stomach gets upset, I feel weak in my legs, and my vision fills with a torus of green fire.
This usually only lasts ten minutes or so. But after it goes away, I feel totally wiped out. I think it's called an "occular migraine", since it affects vision, but doesn't hurt.
I think the trigger for it today was that it was just ROASTING hot today, and the air conditioning was on the fritz last night. This made me sweat all night, which dehydrated me. But then after work I foolishly tried to do 5km at the gym. I got about halfway through it before I got sick. Ugh. It really sucked.
At least I only get the full-blown migraine about one every 18-24 months (whereupon it lasts for for 30-45 days!)
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( 3 / 1190 )Monday, June 19, 2006, 12:29 PM
I have to confess to a certain piece of almost inexcusable vanity. I dye my hair. [Shock... Horror...]
The problem with being of Irish descent is that my hair started going grey in my early 20s. Lemme tell ya: it sucks looking 45 when I'm only 36. That's why I dye my hair. Oh well. Is vanity one of the seven deadly sins? I can never remember.
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( 3 / 1171 )Sunday, June 18, 2006, 03:43 PM
I was both saddened and outraged today as I was watching CNN at the gym during my workout. CNN has a "Fathers' Day" segment in which soldiers in Iraq could make a 15-30 second greeting to his/her families at home. Some of the soldiers had been in Iraq for the whole three years without a break or a duty rotation. Some were badly injured.
The field hospital segment was pretty ghastly. Nothing's too good for Bush's political contributers, but the Administration didn't seem to be spending a lot of cash on our soldiers' medical care.
One of the Fathers' Day calls was from a terribly wounded soldier who was being treated for a grenade injury. He was trying to convince his yound daughter that he was going to be okay even though he was bleeding from a dozen wounds.
I pray that George W Bush can be made to pay for the lives he has ruined with this endless, pointless, illegal war. I hope that the Democrats take both houses in November, and that the Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld triumvarite will be tried for war crimes and imprisoned -- forever.
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( 3 / 1009 )Thursday, June 15, 2006, 09:03 PM
I finally got to the halfway point in my 1-year probation at work. This is a big deal, since if I hadn't been cutting the mustard, I would have been dismissed on Monday. But actually, I scored reasonably well on my performance evaluation.
Basically, on a scale of 1 to 4, I scored a 2.34. I needed a 1.75 to keep my job. So that's not super-high, but it was more than enough to keep my job!
I get my first raise (a small one) on July 1st. Yay! Only six more months before I get permanent status!
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( 3 / 1067 )Tuesday, June 13, 2006, 08:25 AM
I thought of some more cool, uber-left ideas on how to contain the SUV problem. These are really inspired:
-- Make larger parking lot spaces for SUVs, but place them all the way in the back of the lot. Reasoning: I'm tired of my car getting dinged when a Land Yacht parks next to me and bangs my car with their door.
-- Charge double at parking garages. Reasoning: When I park my car in the morning, I frequently see leftover spaces next to SUVs because the vehicles are so big that other cars can't park next to them.
-- Charge triple at toll booths. Reasoning: Because these vehicles use triple the resources of a family sedan (9 MPG vs 27 MPG) and weigh three times as much (6000 pounds vs 2000 pounds), they should pay proportionally more.
-- Charge double insurance rates. Reasoning: These vehicles completely obliterate the cars they hit when they cause traffic accidents.
-- Quadruple motor vehicle fines for tailgating and aggressive driving. Reasoning: While these Land Yachts accelerate fast, they don't exactly stop on a dime. A SUV tailgating a hybrid is a terrible mistake because a hybrid's regenerative breaking can stop the car from 70 MPH to 0 MPH in only 150'. A SUV takes twice that distance.
-- Special tag registration. SUV owners who get less than 20 MPG should be required to buy bright red license tags that have a caption that reads, "This driver supports terrorism". Reasoning: Any purchase of a true gas guzzler is prime evidence that the user values "status" over National Security.
-- 7-day "cooling off" period. There should be a manditory 7-day "cooling off" period between when a potential SUV buyer requests the vehicle and when he can actually sign the paperwork. This gives the potential buyer time to reconsider the decision. Reasoning: it works for guns, and I think SUVs probably kill more people each year than handguns.
-- Maximum of one SUV per household. Residents should only be permitted to have one SUV per physical address. There is no excuse for "his and hers" SUVs. Reasoning: This would mandate that at least one car in a two-vehicle household would get double-digit fuel efficiency.
If these policies were enacted, the wastrels who own Land Yachts could finally be punished for polluting the environment and driving up fuel prices.
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( 3 / 998 )Monday, June 12, 2006, 09:51 PM - Random Thoughts
I have been tagged... FOUR meme!
I got this from Dewey’s Dartboard (Doug’s Site). .
FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Pizza driver
2. Roofer
3. Cellular Phone Salesman
4. Pretrial Release Investigator
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Any of the David Suchet Hercule Poirot films. I am watching the Mystery of the Blue Train now.
2. Syngenor.
3. High Planes Drifter.
4. For a Few Dollars More.
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE LIVED:
1. Atlanta, GA
2. Columbia, MD
3. York, PA
4. Baltimore MD
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. The Sentinel
2. Stargate SG1
3. Space 1999
4. Babylon 5
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON HOLIDAY:
1. Nagshead NC
2. Williamsburg, VA
3. Grand Cayman
4. St Thomas USVI
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. Greenhybrid.com
2. hybridcars.com
3. Deweydjb.blogspot.com
4. CNN.com
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Scones.
2. Wonderful, freshly ground coffee.
3. Some deliciously decadent dessert, like Key line pie
4. Anything Mexican
FOUR PLACES YOU'D RATHER BE:
1. On a cruise ship in the Caribbean
2. On a cruise ship in the Mediterranean.
3. Rock climbing or hiking.
4. Ireland
FOUR LUCKY PEOPLE TO TAG:
1. Coco
2. Debbi
3. Jeff (Jay’s Ramblings)
4. Joan (from church)
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( 3 / 1973 )Sunday, June 11, 2006, 02:14 PM - Cool Stuff
Doug and I went to Montecello yesterday, the home of Thomas Jefferson. I thought it was an absolutely beautiful and efficient home. Unlike typical mansions of the rich, everything in the Jefferson home had purpose and function. I liked the fact that he believed in ordinary staircases instead of the huge spirals that were so popular with the wealthy of the time.
It was also cool how he designed all the bedrooms such that the beds were built into the walls. How efficient! Many of the rooms had high ceilings and skylights.
He designed his own home. He invented the double-pane window concept. He also made windows that also worked like doors (you slid them up from the floor and just walked out!)
The only sad note was the knowledge that he owned over 100 slaves in his lifetime. While it is generally thought that he did not abuse or torture his slaves, the fact that he actually OWNED other human beings is something that strikes me as abhorrent. It was a pretty standard practice in the Southern states, however. And although Jefferson was an enlightened man of his time, he was still OF THAT TIME.
Jefferson's genious made me realize, of course, how short-changed we are nowadays with respect to Presidents. Here's how I see it:
Thomas Jefferson: He could speak, read, and write seven different languages fluently.
George W. Bush: He has never demonstrated the ability to read or write. He can barely speak English, much less any other language.
Thomas Jefferson: He couild play two musical instruments and composed music in his spare time.
George W. Bush: He cannot play any instruments. He has no interest in art of any kind and is generally fearful/distrustful of those that do.
Thomas Jefferson: As a man of science, he collected many scientific instruments and enjoyed performing experiments in his house.
George W. Bush: He has no interest whatsoever in science and has a pathological fear of those who do.
Thomas Jefferson: Was a man who promoted religious tolerance and the seperation of Church and State.
George W. Bush: He is a Bible-thumping religious bigot who misuses the Bible to push his austere Right-Wing agenda. He promotes the idea of a theocratic oligarchy based on ultra-conservative Christo-fascism.
Thomas Jefferson: He owned over 5000 books and read every single one of them.
George W. Bush: He is not known to have read any book except for the Bible. He is not known to actually own any books at all.
Thomas Jefferson: He was a natural-born tinkerer. He designed locks, clocks, doors, and all manner of appliances for the home.
George W. Bush: He has never demonstrated any desire to invent anything, and generally distrusts/fears those who do.
Thomas Jefferson: He was an expert chef and knew how to prepare French cuisine.
George W. Bush: It is not known if this man has EVER prepared a meal for himself.
Thomas Jefferson: He was skilled at various money-making trades, including farming, brewing, map making, surveying, architecture, and wine making.
George W. Bush: He has never held down a single job that his daddy didn't get for him -- including the Presidency.
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