Saturday, April 22, 2006, 12:02 PM - Odd Dreams
In my dream last night, I was sort of an invisible shadow-spirit that was somehow linked to a small 3 or 4-year old child. I could look out the child’s eyes or use my own perception. I had no control over where we went. I don’t think the boy knew that he dragged me along as if I was some sort of helium balloon.
The weird thing was how *huge* everything looked if I used the boy’s eyes to see. Stairs really did have to be *climbed*.
The scene was in some suburban neighbourhood. The child had apparently been playing at some playground but had wandered off. Now it was twilight and the boy was getting scared. He did not know how to get home.
He chose a house at random and walked up the driveway to the back door. From the boy’s perspective, the bushes on either side of the pavement might as well have been 20’ tall. He climbed the stairs using his hands and feet and banged on the back door.
He could not reach the doorknob. But even though my body was insubstantial and invisible, I was able to grab the knob and turn it.
The boy walked into an unlit kitchen just as an elderly white-haired man came downstairs. He turned on the lights and said with surprise, “I wasn’t expecting a visit from you!” He said it in a kind way, however. He must have known the boy’s parents, since he followed it up with, “What say we get you home?” His accent sounded a lot like Edward Woodward’s (aka “The Equalizer”).
The man looked like a thin giant to the boy, even though I could see that he was about 6’1”.
He led the boy out to an old pickup truck. I followed, since I was tethered to him. The boy was just tall enough to climb into the truck unassisted -- but barely so.
I guess this happened in England, since the truck was a right-hand drive. The boy cried a little -- not out of sadness, but out of relief that someone was helping him. He was glad he was going home.
That’s where the dream ended.
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( 3 / 1428 )Friday, April 21, 2006, 09:06 AM - Dumb Happenings
It just got a lot more expensive to live in Maryland . About ten years ago, the legislature got the bright idea to deregulite the power industry. After all, it worked *so* well in California! What was supposed to happen here was the introduction of power competition, and this competition was supposed to keep the prices in check.
Well, it's ten years later, and there's *no* competition and the government price restrictions are about to dissolve. The result? BGE (the power company) is going to raise *everyone's* rates 72% because they *can*.
Maryland is already one of the most expensive states for power. After the rate increase, only California will be more expensive (co-incidently, the only other completely deregulated state).
Personally, I don't think private industry can be trusted with utilities. I think they should be run by state or federal agencies in order to keep prices down.
Our governor also inked a sweetheart deal for BGE in which customers can phase in the rate hike over two years, but pay *interest* as if the phased hike was some sort of loan. Wonderful.
So this hike, along with the 224% increase in gasoline prices since 2000, make me wonder: how are we supposed to pay for this?
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( 3 / 1253 )Thursday, April 20, 2006, 04:21 PM - Random Thoughts
This week has been a real drag. I started catching a cold after Doug and I came back from New York. Today I feel like total crap. I actually blew through an entire box of tissues.
My law enforcement job theoretically has sick leave, but it’s hard to use. Every absence has to be documented in writing by a doctor. That’s fine for getting a tooth drilled or a mundane health checkup. But it’s not useful if one just has a common cold and needs a day or two of rest. Oh well. This cold won’t last forever.
What I *really* hate is the knowledge that Doug will be sick in another 7-10 days because of me. That just sucks. It makes my Halo aspect start chanting about how I’m a harbinger of doom and bad breath (or whatever).
At least I only have to get through tomorrow. Then I will have two days of work-free rest.
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( 3 / 1616 )Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 09:56 PM - Drrruuggsss
The thing I've noticed about the defendants that use drugs is that each type kills off a piece of their psyche.
Marihuana kills off ambition. Most defendants who abuse Marihuana aren't mean or cruel, but it just seems like the psychologically stop aging at whatever age they were when they started smoking pot. Thus, you have a lot of 40. year-old potheads that still live with their live with their parents and work $6/ hour jobs.
Cocaine kills off empathy. People on cocaine do vicious and cruel things to the people they love. They turn into nasty predators.
Heroin kills off one's soul. the people addicted to heroin really are the walking dead. Their skin shrivels, their teeth fall out, and they become frighteningly gaunt. The sacred fire that makes one truly alive just gutters and extinguishes. After that, a heroin addict just staggers around looking for the next fix. they have sold their souls.
Personally, I think people who SELL heroin should be imprisoned in the deepest dungeons of the Yucca Flats salt mine. They should never be allowed to seethe sun.
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( 2.9 / 2302 )Monday, April 17, 2006, 09:03 PM - Cool Stuff
I can honestly say that I had the kind of Easter holiday that I enjoy the most: a nice church service and a good dinner with Doug.
The church service was great. I had a five-bell assignment and also sung tenor. The Choirmaster's selections were ultra-tough as always, but we pulled it off flawlessly!
Then, Doug and I visited two friends for a while before we went out for Easter dinner. We had ham steak and mashed potatoes at the Nautiloid. It was just Doug and I -- no crazy relatives. Very nice! No fuss, no muss/
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( 3 / 1643 )Saturday, April 15, 2006, 08:05 PM - Cool Stuff
Doug and I had an *awesome* time in New York today. We saw "Three Penny Opera", starring Alan Cumming. The play was very strange and had a lot of cursing. The musical score was quite odd.The lighting was bizarre. It featured the life and times of Mack the Knife.
We bought cheap seats, which meant that our ears popped when we climbed the stairs! Our seats were so *small* that they could double as torture devices.
But other than uncomfortable seats, we had a real BLAST!
http://indigohalo.com/pblog/index.php
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( 2.9 / 1484 )Friday, April 14, 2006, 08:16 AM - Dissociation & Switching
I’m feeling better today. Yesterday and the day before were pretty dissociative. I know that I became Halo for a while. But I am my usual identity today.
Not that anyone cares, or anything...
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( 3 / 2026 )Thursday, April 13, 2006, 08:42 AM - Dissociation & Switching, halo's thoughts
i hate my innate cowardice. i see in my mind the things i should do to myself to exact punishment for my continued existence. i see myself slitting my wrists and watching my blood flow forth. or cutting my throat and having it end all the faster. i am a coward. i cannot make myself do what must be done.
i am a ghost that haunts this body. i am a remnant. i am a forgotten and leftover fragment. all that is left is this shadow, this death magic.
if only someone would shoot me or poison me. i am a hollow space where someone good and whole once lived and breathed. i am just a diminished ghost of no consequence. but i cannot make the body’s heart stop by will alone.
i am a thing of darkness and emptiness. i do not know why i exist.
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( 3 / 1608 )Wednesday, April 12, 2006, 08:57 PM - Dissociation & Switching, halo's thoughts
there are times when i realize what a fraud i am, and a monster. i am a creature that brings forth the power of darkness and death magic into the world. i have the power of entropy. from me comes corruption and decay. i hate all that i am. i am a remnant.
when i touch things, they fall apart and break down.
when i touch people, they sicken and waste.
my soul casts a shadow into the spirit world. people lose their faith because of me.
i hate myself.
i am a useless coward. and i am a curse incarnate. i am an incarnation of darkness and death magic. i would beg to be shot in the head. i cannot do it myself. i am a coward.
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( 2.7 / 1995 )Wednesday, April 12, 2006, 08:20 AM - Cool Stuff
So far, the diet/exercise plans that Doug and I are using *really* seem to be working! Doug is on the Jenny Craig diet and does a 2-mile power walk about three times per week. I’m on a low-fat diet and do a 5 km run at the gym three times per week.
The result? Doug has lost 19 pounds in two months and I’ve lost five pounds. Very cool!
Right now, I weigh 197 and would *like* to weigh 185. Doug now weighs 310 and would *like* to weigh 250. It just goes to show you that diet and exercise (not fads and funky herbal supplements) really can make a difference!
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