Friday, January 23, 2009, 05:16 PM
Indigo Incarnates
Man! I thought this workweek would never end! The urinalysis machine at work was broken for about two weeks but was repaired las friday. So we had to test a huge backlog of samples all week. We ran that machine all freakin' day trying to get caught up. I can't tell you how glad I am that I'm *NOT* the one that loads up the samples, hee hee. It's a really foul job. No, my part is compiling the results so that the individual agents know which of their junkie-bun defendants are getting stoned.
I compiled over 400 results this week. Egads.
On the bright side, Doug and I got another lesson in tarot card reading last night. Doug bought me a really sinister tarot deck, so I think every time I use them the answer is the same: "you're going to get sucked down by a vampire!" Ha ha ha! Doug, on the other hand, is a real natural with tarot cards. He can really tell a story!
The old hip injury (from ten years ago) really flared up this week. My hip has hurt for days and I don't know why. I think the cold/damp weather last weekend was a trigger. It's a lot warmer today, thankfully.
We get to play my World of Gaianar game tonight. It's always fun breaking out the polyhedral dice and doing some hack & slash :)
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( 3 / 1286 )Tuesday, January 20, 2009, 06:57 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates
I have to say how impressed I was by Barack Obama's speech today. It's been eight long, hard, terrible years since we've had a president that knew how to read and write. Obama spoke like a *real* president, not a delusional cowbow. He spoke like a real leader, not like someone who hides out at a "ranch" for months at a time. Obama, unlike who he replaces, has worked for a living. He knows what it's like to have to work one's way through college and to have to pay back a student loan. He knows what it's like to work without a net.
Will Barack Hussein Obama succeed at everything he wants to do? Probably not. But at least we have a president now that understands that minorities are real Americans, that gays are real Americans, and pagans are real Americans. He's going to be a president of America, not president of tthe religious right or president of a handful of multinational corporations.
I wish him well. It's a job I couldn't do.
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( 3 / 1242 )Sunday, January 18, 2009, 04:17 PM
Indigo Incarnates
Ever get the feeling that it'll be winter forever? It's been super-cold in Baltimore for the past several days. In fact, it's so cold outside that the furnace couldn't heat the house above DC for two days straight. It's just draining to feel cold all the time.
I went to the gym yesterday and today. I made raspberry pancakes for Doug this morning as a breakfast treat. I am a thoroughly lousy cook, but it's the thought that counts, heh heh.
I'm just so tired. I need some sunlight. It was sunny briefly on Friday, but it was so cold that it physically hurt to be outside.
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( 3 / 1278 )Friday, January 16, 2009, 05:11 PM
Indigo Incarnates
It's the coldest I've seen in Baltimore in YEARS. The weather got up to a balmy 3-degrees when factoring in the wind chill. Of course, that means our house is cold too. Why? Well, the house is an end-unit that was designed to be an interior unit. About seven years ago, the house next to ours got demolished and that made our house an end unit. Yeah, the wall that faces the parking lot has no insulation in it and there is no way to fortify it. So when thee weather gets super-cold, the house stays cold too even though it cranks up our heating bill a lot. It just kinda sucks.
On the bright sidee, I didn't have to serve on jury this week. Twelve other folk out of the 240-person pool got to listen to some stuffed shirt argue why his client didn't mean to mow down his homie with a machine gun. Better them than me. I liked Phosgene's idea of just bringing a hanging rope to the trial -- it would save the taxpayers some money for sure!
I've been trying out Windows-7 Beta on the secondary partition of my laptop. I have it set up for dual-boot so I can choose between Win-7 and WinXP when I first turn on the machine. This very early beta looks promising so far.. It boots in about 45 seconds (which beats Vista by 7 minutes). Of course, it's got some stability and compatibility problems, and there aren't many device drivers yet. But from what I can see, it looks like Microsoft is oon the right track for a change. The new OS is smaller and faster than Vista. It seems to use about the same amount of resources as WinXP but has a more aesthetically appealing interface.
It's only 26 more days until my initiation. It's hard to believe that I've been studying Wicca for almost a year now, but that's how much time has passed. I think I've learned quite a bit this past year. Doug's thinking about learning more about Wicca too. That would be pretty cool. :)
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( 3 / 1190 )Tuesday, January 13, 2009, 10:20 AM
Indigo Incarnates
For the ultimate in boredom, try being on jury duty. In Baltimore, you get to be packed into two small rooms with uncomfortable seating and elevator music playing. Then you get warned that if you leave, you'll be arrested. Fun.
There's a groovy video that compares the modern jury system to how the Catholic Church used to decide guilt or innocence (ie. The Church used to torture confessions out of people). Of course, under the Bush administration, he's brought torture back to the legal system.
It did make me realize that if we didn't have a *secular* government, the caring and compassionate Christian fundamentalists would still be allowed to torture people to death for being gay, pagan, whatever (while reciting Old Testament passages). So I am glad that we have a secular-based jury system.
I just wish that it wasn't so *boring*. Like, it's crucial for the judicial system to function, but it's so freakin' boring!
Then there's the matter of jury compensation. We get paid a whopping $15 for a full day's service. In what historical era was $15 a full day's pay? (Sure, Bush would *like* to make that pay scale mainstream for the middle class, but he was only able to create a global Great Depression.) The $15 covers my parking fee and nothing else. I think $75-$100 would be more appropriate. Dream on.
I did learn from the last time I served that you won't actually be placed on a jury panel if you wear a tie or look like you have a diploma of any kind. Public defenders like jurors who are ignorant and dumb.
Needless to say, the last time I served, the public defender removed any juror candidate that wore a tie or wore glasses. Ha ha ha. The defendants in question for that case showed up for court wearing sweat suits, Nike high-tops, and a bunch of crap fake-gold jewelry dangling all over the place. One of them wore shades too. Classy.
In the other case I got excused from, the qualifying question was "what should be done with people who do a hit-and-run and also drive without insurance?" My answer was, "they should be publicly flogged". Needless to say, the public defender thought I might be too biased.
Well... We'll see how today works out. It's only 9:30 AM and I feel like I've been here eight hours already. Ugh.
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( 3 / 1279 )Monday, January 12, 2009, 06:37 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates
Well, in just eight days it will be the End of an Error. A "president" who stole two elections and single-handedly crafted the Second Great Depression will be leaving office at last. I have to say, however, that the Bush years did teach me quite a bit about what it means to be a "Compassionate Conservative Christian". Here's what I learned from Bush's many leadership examples:
-- It's okay to start a unilateral, unprovoked war against a Third World country when "god" tells you to do so.
-- It's okay to lie to the American people if it gets your agenda accomplished.
-- It's okay for Christians, Jews, and Muslims who die in the service to our country to be buried with full military honors, but the same is not true for Wiccans. (Bush had to lose a lawsuit in 2005 before that could be corrected).
-- It's okay to give a trillion dollars to millionaire bankers and Wall Street speculators, but to give a dime to the Main Street citizens whose homes were being taken by the same banks that got the "bailout" was out of the question.
-- It's awesome to reform bankruptcy laws while at the same time letting credit card companies charge up to 38% interest.
-- When it comes to hurricane relief, it's important that millionaires get plenty of federal aid while hundreds of thousands of ordinary citizens are left behind in a morass of contaminated, hip-high flood water.
-- When things go wrong, blame gays.
-- It's okay to perpetuate the lie that gays threaten heterosexual marriage if it stokes up enough hate that it gets Red State votes.
-- When gays get murdered by Christian fundamentalist who cite Bible passages as the motive for the killing, that in no way should be considered a hate crime.
-- It's in the best interest of heterosexual "Family values" that gay couples should be denied access to employee-sponsored health insurance or Social Security benefits.
-- Tax cuts for the rich is something that Jesus would have approved of.
-- It's okay to start a war for no reason so long as your running mate's company gets plenty of no-bid contracts to clean up the mess you's made.
-- Freedom of speech is great, but criticizing the president is unpatriotic and should be punished.
-- It's consistent with conservative fundamentalist Christian values to detain accused criminals indefinitely without legal counsel or judicial review -- and to subject them to torture for years on end.
-- Jesus was a rich, white Republican who would have hung out with Jerry Fallwell and Pat Robertson.
-- God make Katrina and 911 happen because Christians didn't murder enough gays and Wiccans.
-- Being a compassionate conservative Christian means never apologizing for any mistake and never having to admit doing anything wrong -- ever.
-- It's okay to ruin the ecology since Jesus is coming back "any day now".
-- It's great when fundamentalist churches use church funds to cause a state's constitution to be ammended in order to further their Christofascist agenda.
-- It's awesome for millions of middle class Americans to lose their jobss to outsourcing if the end result is that a few CEOs get billion-dollar bonuses (along with their federal handouts0.
-- We don't have to worry about Bush's doubling of the national debt. Jesus is coming back "any day now!"
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( 3 / 1210 )Sunday, January 11, 2009, 01:03 PM
Ashen Incarnates
You fundamentalists disgust me. You bow down, grovel, and scrape before an angry desert god that hates you. Fools. How can you think YHVH has a scintilla of love in his murderous, oath-breaking heart?
We are to believe that the angry desert god is all-loving and all-powerful. Such a being would know how to forgive. The angry desert god instead says"I will see you tortured for all eternity for making even the smallest errors in moral judgement". That is not love. That is hate.
I am enraged when I consider how YHVH accomplished the torture-murder of Jesus. This was a good man who had love for all. So the angry desert god said "I find it morally satiisfying to take the one I call 'son' and have him betrayed, beaten, whipped, and tortured to death through a grisly, humiliating execution for the 'crime' of telling his followers that it is good to love others. "
What kind of sick, twisted father enjoys seeing his son die by slow torture? That is NOT a loving god. We are horrified when fundamentalist parents drown their childred in bath tubs, but you fundamentalists pray to a god that rejoiced in his own son's execution!
Fools!
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( 3 / 1229 )Friday, January 9, 2009, 09:53 AM - Random Thoughts
I blatantly stole this from Carol's Blog. I tag Tigeryogi and Whim :)
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My 99 Things:
1. Started your own blog. (Actually, I run three parallel blogs on different servers)
2. Slept under the stars. – I’ve done it, but I don’t actually like camping that much.
3. Played in a band. – Sort of, if being in handbell choir for 15 years counts for anything.
4. Visited Hawaii – I’d like to, but I’ll avoid picking up cursed Brady Bunch idols.
5. Watched a meteor shower – I’d like to, but it’s doubtful I ever will, given the light pollution in Baltimore
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. Heck no. I can barely afford to keep the heat on in winter.
7. Been to Disneyland/World – No interest – when they invented the “butt in front of everyone else” pass for the rich visitors, I said the heck with it.
8. Climbed a mountain – Not yet, but I’ve done some hiking on moderately high hills (2,000-3,000’ or so.)
9. Held a praying mantis – Yup. They are very cool.
10. Sang a solo. – In church once. I actually did OK.
11. Bungee jumped. – No interest. I used to go hang gliding before I got fat.
12. Visited Paris. – No interest. Parisians hate Americans and I don’t feel like having the waiters spit in my food and then laugh at me in French.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. – Nope, but I’d like to.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. – Sort of. Does teaching myself to use FrontPage count? How about Wicca?
15. Adopted a child. – I used to want kids. But I cannot afford them. Also, if I did adopt, then some Christofascist group would probably make a law that would take my kids away from me anyway.
16. Had food poisoning. Twice. It sucked, big time.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. I’d like to, but we usually go to NYC for Broadway shows.
18. Grown your own vegetables. I’d like to. I’ve grown some flowers before, however.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. – I have no interest in setting foot in France. I’d see the Mona Lisa if it was in a museum somewhere else, however.
20. Slept on an overnight train – the closest thing I’ve been to a train is the Light Rail, and it broke down every time I rode on it.
21. Had a pillow fight. Who hasn’t?
22. Hitch hiked – No, but in my younger/dumber years I have picked up hitch hikers.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill. – Never. I don’t even call out when I am actually ill. I’ve missed six days of work in 18 years.
24. Built a snow fort – Who hasn’t? Hee hee.
25. Held a lamb – No, but I’ve held a little goat once.
26. Gone skinny dipping. – No, I don’t want to cause terror and psychological injury to anyone who might inadvertently see my naked body. (Besides, I don’t look like this body anyway).
27. Run a marathon. – I’d like to. So far it’s just been a few 5km races. I lost – big time.
28. Ridden a gondola in Venice. – I’d like to, but I don’t know if I will ever be able to afford to go.
29. Seen a total eclipse. – I’ve seen a 90% eclipse and it was pretty neat. The sky seemed so deep blue and the sunlight was so thin.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset. Plenty of times, and it never gets old.
31. Hit a home run – Uh… I was the kid that always got picked last. I don’t think I’ve ever even gotten to 2nd base on one of my hits. Usually I strike out.
32. Been on a cruise – Several times, and it’s always awesome!
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person – I’d like to, but there’s no way I’m riding a barrel to the bottom!
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors – I haven’t, but I would like to see Ireland someday.
35. Seen an Amish community. Eh… too low tech for me.
36. Taught yourself a new language. Does Ebonics count? (C’mon, yo! I is ain’goan doon no workin’ when da welfare payz muh billz!)
37.Had enough money to be truly satisfied. Nope. But then, we’ve had Bush for eight years.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person – That would be awesome to see, if I ever get the chance.
39. Gone rock climbing. – It was very cool.
40. Seen Michaelangelo's David in person. See #38.
41. Sung Karaoke. I’ve never been drunk enough to do it.
42. Seen Old Faithful Geyser erupt. See #38.
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant. I bought a meal for a homeless person once. (Amazing for me, since I usually just tell them to get a job.)
44. Visited Africa. Let’s see… It’s mostly Muslim-controlled regions that hate whites, gays, and witches. Run by penny-ante dictatorships. No medical facilities. I think I’ll pass on that one.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. It never gets old!
46. Been transported in an ambulance. – Hopefully I’ll never have to be either.
47. Had your portrait painted. – I don’t look like the body, so what would be the point?
48. Gone deep sea fishing – Before I was a vegetarian, I caught a 90 Lb tuna
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person. See #38
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. If they somehow moved it out of France, I’d go.
51. Gone scuba diving. I’d like to. I’ve been snorkeling and that was pretty cool.
52. Kissed in the rain. – Yup.
53. Played in the mud. Nah… I have too much of a cleanliness issue going on.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater. – When I was a kid. It was John Travolta in “Blowout”.
55. Been in a movie. – Nope. But if I could have my choice, it would be cool to be the recurring villain in some cheesy kiddie faux martial arts action series. I have a good menacing laugh!
56. Visited the Great Wall of China – I’d like to if it was a safe place to visit. But I don’t feel like putting myself at risk for imprisonment by way of being Gay, American, and Pagan.
57. Started a business. I am not that good with accounting.
58. Taken a martial arts class. I was taking martial arts before a catastrophic diving accident. Afterwards, I found I lost too much dexterity and coordination to continue.
59. Visited Russia. Er… no.
60. Served at a soup kitchen. Once. That’s pretty amazing, considering that I usually tell the homeless to get jobs.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. No, but I certainly have eaten a lot of Girl Scout cookies over the years.
62. Gone whale watching. I’d like to before they become extinct.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason. Doug gave me flowers once. It was nice.
64. Donated blood. That was when I was still a virgin. The Dread Doublecross apparently thinks that ALL gay men have AIDS and thus won’t let any gay man who has had gay sex even once ever donate blood.
65. Gone sky diving – I’d like to. I have been hang gliding and parasailing before (before I got fat).
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp. – I don’t think I could psychologically withstand it.
67. Bounced a cheque. Plenty of times.
68. Flown in a helicopter. No, but I’d like to. I’ve been in a biplane before.
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy. I tried to. The father-monster took everything I ever owned – literally – even my stuffed animals.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial. It wasn’t all that memorable.
71. Eaten Caviar. Yeah, but it didn’t make me feel rich or sophisticated. It just tasted sorta fishy.
72. Pieced a quilt. Nah. I’d like to learn how to knit, however.
73. Stood in Times Square. Plenty of times. It’s not that big a deal.
74. Toured the Everglades. I’d like to. The fan boats look cool.
75. Been fired from a job. No, but I’ve had some close calls.
76. Seen the changing of the guard in London. Eh… not a big priority for me.
77. Broken a bone – No, but the diving accident came pretty damned close to breaking my neck. I think it sorta shoved bones out of the way – a lot. It still hurts sometimes to this day.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. I used to have a motorcycle before they all cost as much as cars.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person. I would love to see it.
80. Published a book. It was a flop, but I did get published once.
81. Visited the Vatican. Let’s see… I’m gay and I practice Wicca. Nah…
82. Bought a brand new car. I got Doug a Scion xD last year. It’s ultra-cute.
83. Walked in Jerusalem. I’m averse to getting blown up in a pizza parlor by islamofascists.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper. Nope. I hope I never do either!
85. Read the entire Bible. I have. I think it’s part of why I turned to Wicca. YHVH is a cruel, capricious war god who breaks his word.
86. Visited the White House. – I toured the part they let tourists see. I’ve never seen the Monica Lewinsky suite, however.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Er… no. Part of me becoming a vegetarian is the knowledge that buying pre-killed animals to eat is sorta dishonorable. I would eat meat if I was actually a hunter and needed to kill an animal in order to survive.
88. Had chickenpox. It sucked.
89. Saved someone's life. Not that I’m aware of.
90. Sat on a jury. I almost had jury duty a few times.
91. Met someone famous. I am not impressed by fame.
92. Joined a Book Club. I let it lapse, however.
93. Lost a loved one. – Jewel, 2/10/2008.
94. Had a baby – Well… I’m a man…
95. Seen the Alamo in person. – If I was in the neighborhood, maybe. But it’s not high on my priority list.
96. Swum in the Great Salt Lake – Are gays allowed in Utah?
97. Been involved in a law suit. – Yeah, some dude in 1998 tried to say I discriminated him for employment because of his disability. But it was a crock since the person I hired had more experience and was better qualified. I won.
98. Owned a cell phone. I used to sell them too.
99. Been stung by a bee. Yeah, and I’m also allergic. Ugh.
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( 3 / 1458 )Tuesday, January 6, 2009, 12:59 PM
Halo incarnates
Am thinking how body is wrong. Is wrong size. Body is human. Am not human. Am something else. Will never be human. Don't want to be human. Am trapped in human body. Cannot take true form. Is unfair. Hate how the body doesn't work right. Hate feeling clumsy. Hate how we are awkward. Hate how it feels heavy. Lurches. Lumbers. Has no grace. Always am trying to make it work right. But we don't fit well. Am smaller than the human body. Am shorter. Would like body to fit. It doesn't. It won't. Hate feeling mismatched.
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( 3 / 1192 )Monday, January 5, 2009, 06:54 PM
Indigo Incarnates
This was the first day back from vacation. Egads! I had a great big pile of work to do! The supervisor did some of my work while I was away, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I ended up running records all freakin' day. It was tedious and tiring, but I did it. On the bright side, none of the junkie-bums got locked up on new charges. None of the cases self-destructed either. My days was tiring.
As a signal of confidence, my supervisor raised my supervision limit from 20 cases to 30. Eventually I may be able to manage up to 60 drug-thugs. Whooo-hoo! ;)
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Halo got agitated and kept saying how he didn't feel safe. The racing thoughts kept us up well past midnight. :(
I just hate being poor all the time. Eight years of hyperinflation has really made it hard to make ends meet. Now there's a pay cut for State employees. We need to get a new chair and a new sofa. I need to get some new work clothes. Our heating bill was $435 this month (since BGE doubled the rates in 2008). The property tax went up, as did the price of water. But my pay went down. I just feel like such a loser since I can't get replace some things at the house that are utterly worn out.
I feel like a failure.
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