Monday, May 22, 2006, 08:38 PM
Since I've been trying to lose weight for the past five months, I've learned about a ghastly chart published by the FDA called the "Body Mass Index". I think it's guaranteed to make people anorexic, since it's almost impossible to be a "healthy" weight.
Now, in my adult life, I've weighed between 152 and 215. I felt healthiest between 175 and 185. Right now I weigh 191, so I'm almost back to being the weight that *I* want to weigh.
According to the BMI chart, I should weigh between 140 and 150. Let me tell you: I would look like a concentration camp victim if that's all I weighed. I remember what I looked like weighing 152, and I can telly you that I didn't look good.
I think I looked pretty darned good in the 175-185 range, however.
Since February this year, I have lost exactly 20 pounds. I've done this by excercising five times per week and trying to limit my calories to 1900 per day.
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( 3 / 1203 )Sunday, May 21, 2006, 07:58 PM
I had this terrifying dream last night that involved an abandoned house that everyone seems to have forgotten about. It was in a run-down section of some run-down midsized city. It had a faded wood exterior that was the color of ash. Inside, a few pieces of ruined furniture remained, but it was obvious that the house had been abandoned for 20 years or more.
Suddenly it was sunset. As the sun vanished beneath the horizon, an old picture on the wall seemed to suddenly become three-dimensional and an evil spectral figure flew out from it. I knew that it was some form of demonic entity whose sole purpose was to bring torment to living beings.
Time passed and I remained in that house, in the upper room that held the now-empty portrait. I realized that I was seeing in two ways. I could see in the normal material world, but I could also see in the spirit world concurrently. It was like a glowing overlay. All along the dingy walls of this room, glowing symbols of all kinds flickered and wavered. I sensed the power of evil here.
Time passed and it was dawn. The spectral figure returned to the painting.
I waited a few momens and I walked up to the portrait and uttered a Christian prayer that whatever lived in the painting would become trapped within. My prayer was tentative at first, but I quickly grew in confidince. I spoke words of power, and with making a sign of the Cross, the power of the painting somehow sealed upon itself.
I had the sensation that the time interval that I could be used as a spiritual conduit was going to quickly come to an end. So I targeted the three most powerful runes on the wall and repeated the prayer.
The dream ended with sunlight coming through the window. The house had become just some ordinary place. The evil presence, once a formidable thing, had been reduced to a faint whisper. I felt like I had really accomplished something.
Too bad it was just a dream!
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( 3 / 1063 )Sunday, May 21, 2006, 05:05 PM
I try to be a good and upright person, but I know that I am deeply flawed. I curse, I drive aggresively to punish SUV owners, and I have wrath and hate in my heart for right-wing religious types even though they worship the same God I do.
I worry that when this body dies, God will welcome only Thistle and Willow into heaven, and not Indigo (me), Halo, and Ashen. I just wonder if Thistle's purity and Willow's innocence effectively balance againt my sin, Halo's despair, and Ashen's rage.
I don't know why I just can't be sinless like Thistle. He doesnlt lie, cheat, or take the lazy way out. I've accomplished a LOT in my life, but I hate myself for some of the comprimises I've made. And I can be a lazy slob.
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( 3 / 1035 )Thursday, May 18, 2006, 08:33 AM
Tuesday was a REALLY busy day at Pretrial, so several defendants had to wait 3-4 hours before they could be processed and released. Well, one of the heroin zombies started getting agitated around noon. She looked like she weighed about 70 pounds and only had about six teeth left. She made a few pathetic-sounding moans before she stood up and declared, "I ain't had no JUNK in TWO DAYS!"
The supervisor came out of her office and told her to sit down and shut up.
So she sulked for about 15 minutes before she stood up again and started crying, "Iz needz muh SHIT!"
Then she started rolling all over the floor and was crying and whimpering about how she needed her "junk" and her "shit". Pathetic!
The sheriffs took her away. On the bright side, she will undoubtedly get referred for detox and drug treatment. It's too late to save her teeth, but maybe she'll be able to save her LIFE if she gets cleaned up!
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( 3.1 / 1202 )Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 03:01 PM
Doug and I had out 7th anniversary on Monday. Doug picked out a completely aweso,e seafood restaraunt and we both had some of the best fish dishes we've ever had. I also had two very good martinis! The restaraunt has deserts that were made fresh daily. I had a fruit tart and doug had a creme broulet. The shrimp cocktail that Doug had as an appetizer had the largest shrimp I've ever seen! The salads were great too.
All in all, it was the best meal we've had since the last cruise. Amazingly, Doug STILL managed to lose a pound at the Jenny Craig weigh-in, despite the huge dinner we had. Very cool!
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( 3 / 1028 )Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 02:53 PM
I had a terrible dream that reminded me of 911. I was in the downtown area of some large metropolis [I don't think it was Baltimore]. I was supposed to be having a good time, but instead I felt an overwhelming sense of doom.
It had been sunny and warm that day. Suddenly, I heard a huge explosion overhead and hot ash rained down from the sky. I was afraid to look up, for fear of getting the charred cinders in my eyes. The world turned from color to monochrome, and I could feel the life of thousands suddenly extinguish. I believe their deaths were somehow linked to the loss of color.
Around me, other people looked up at what I was afraid to see. They looked up and wept. I sensed their feelings of crushing loss and despair.
The air grew suddenly cold charcoal-colored snow began drifting down from the grey sky. All the color was gone from everything, and the world looked like images shot by an old-fashioned 8mm movie camera.
I knew that the survivors would survive, and perhaps rebuild. But I also knew that the act of savegry could never be repaid in kind. The injury inflicted would be a lasting one indeed.
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( 3 / 1041 )Monday, May 15, 2006, 08:07 AM - Dumb Happenings
Well, apparently there’s a REASON why military suicides are at the highest rates ever. Back in 1997, Congress ordered that all “front line” personnel be psychologically evaluated to ensure that they could handle the stress of extended, full-time, theatre of war. When Resident Bush took over, he suspended this programme.
Only 1 in 300 soldiers get the required evaluation before being sent to Iraq. Moreover, soldiers with deteriorating mental health are mandated to remain in place instead of redeployed to a less stressful assignment.
This is pretty typical of Resident Bush, however. He doesn’t read books and doesn’t believe in science. He’s never served in combat. He doesn’t watch the news or read the paper. So why would he give any credence to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or any other war-related mental illnesses?
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( 3 / 1440 )Sunday, May 14, 2006, 08:47 PM - Cool Stuff
Hanuman wrote something KIND on his website for his mother. But my mum and I share a rather darker sense of humor.
"M" is for the Meatloaf that turned out like shoe leather.
"O" is for the occasional Oven fire.
"T" is fur the Terror behind the wheel.
"H" is for the Horrible, yet Hilarious home videos
"E" is for the many Ethanol-based concoctions at Red Lobster
"R" is for the Ringing of the smoke alarms when dinners ready!
Put it all together, well... you get the idea!
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( 3 / 1092 )Sunday, May 14, 2006, 06:05 PM - Dumb Happenings
I want a new phone. Actually, I want a new phone like Doug's phone. If I had a Sidekick, then I could junk my ancient Blackberry pager that's running on the old TDMA system and now gets only intermittant reception.
I tried bidding on Ebay, and I've been finding that the used Sidekicks sell for 80-90% of what a new unit costs. No thanks. I then called T-Moble customer care and the told me (and I'm not kidding), "The Sidekick is so popular that we can't waste these phones on upgrade customers". Oh.. I see... So only brand new customers get to buy the cool phones!
What a crock. I am very disappointed. It also seems like major corporations do very little to retain their customers once they've secured them under contract. All they seem to care about is grabbing the "new" customer. And that doesn't even make any sense. After all, you KNOW if your existing customers are paying their bills. A new customer is an unknown quantity. They could opt fot the "free" phione and then never send the company a dime in service fees. I've seen it happen that way all the time when I sold phones for Cingular.
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( 2.9 / 1523 )Saturday, May 13, 2006, 12:22 PM - Random Thoughts
Bad Grammar and Spelling
What annoys me on an ongoing basis are the blatant examples of bad grammar and bad spelling in American merchandizing. Even multi-billion-dollar corporations are not exempt from faulty syntax. I’ll list the ones I just find to be like fingernails on the chalk board:
>> Microsoft Windows. When the blue “start” screen displays, the user sees “Windows is Starting Up”. Shouldn’t it simply be “Windows is Starting”? After all, the computer isn’t actually going anywhere (up or down).
>> Rite Aid. This is a pharmacy (chemist, for you Brits). And yet, “rite” means “ritual”. So going into “Rite Aid”, shouldn’t we be able to find chalices, crosses, Stars of David, Korans, Bibles, incense censers, cloaks, bells, and candles? How about “Right Aid”, guys?
>> Nite, Lite, Rite, Tite, et al. I am dreading the day that these truncated words actually become accepted as standard syntax. Let’s face it: you’re only saving one character space by converting “night” into “nite”. Sure, you’re cutting out the “gh”, but you’re gaining an “e”. To me, these truncated spellings aren’t “with it”, “modern”, or “cool”. To me, it just looks cheap and lazy.
>> “Kwik” and “Kool”, and other “K” words. When I see advertisers hawk their “Kwik Kopies” or their “Kool Menthol Cigarettes”, I just cringe. The existence of a brand of cigarettes called “Kool” is reason enough to never stop smoking. As for “Kwik Kopies”, if they’re in such a hurry that they can’t afford time for the “c” to return “Kwik” to “Quick”, then they don’t have time for me as a customer!
>> “Must of” instead of “must have”. I kid you not that I have seen this error in the employee handbooks of billion-dollar companies. It’s obvious that the writer is thinking of the contraction “must’ve”, but actually spelled it “must of”. It just chills my soul to think that there are highly paid HR professionals still making this mistake.
>> “z” as a plural indicator. I absolutely refuse to deal with any merchant that uses “trash-English” like “savingz”, or worse, “$avingz”. But I’ve seen “carz”, “phonez”, “Prepaid Cardz”, and other abominations on high, bright banners. The day that “savingz” becomes a proper word is they day that the American English dictionary will have to be euthanized for its own good.
>> “Ain’t Got No”. I swear to God that I have seen the phrase “ain’t got no” in advertising. The radio station at work has some car ad that plays five or six times per day. Their tag line is “You ain’t got no money down? You ain’t got no credit? C’mon down! Your JOB’S your CREDIT!” I could simplify it and make it more dignified, by suggesting, “If you don’t have good credit, but you’re gainfully employed, we can sell you a car!” Isn’t that much better? Of course, if I saw the ad in print instead of hearing it on the radio, it would probably read, “Yoo ain’t gott know monnie down?! Yoo ain’t got no Kredit?!! C’mon down!!! Your JOBZ you’re KREDIT!”
>> Which brings me to “Your”, “You’re”, There”, “Their”, “They’re”, et al. I’ve seen these word confusions so many times in print that I firmly believe that some merchants should only advertise on radio.
>> Too much punctuation. What badly written ad would be complete without phrases that end in “?!”, “!!”, or even “!!!!!!!!!”? But fear not: you’ll never see the poor, misunderstood semi-colon in print; people just don’t know how to use this symbol anymore.
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