Friday, November 7, 2008, 12:23 PM - Church Stuff
Ashen Incarnates
I hope you people who grovel before your angry desert god someday know true suffering. You worship two perpendicular sticks. You worship a god that truly does not give a damn, but laughs at you from afar. Have you never wondered why the most "faithful" amongst your kind always seem to come to ruin? That's because your angry desert god punishes those who beg, grovel, and scrape. He rewards those who abuse power, who take power, who use their will to break the will of others, and who harm others for the sheer pleasure of inflicting harm. Those are the people your angry desert god loves. You are fools for believing in a "just" and "loving" god who promises eternal damnation for even the most trivial of sins, while being guilty himself of genocide.
You fools. You goats. You bleating sheep. I loathe you for your weakness, fear, and bigotry. You crawl on your bellies to grovel before a distant, capricious entity that only shows hate in return for subservience. When will you realize that the angry desert god has only one proclamation: "Nothing you do will ever please me, but you shall suffer the consequences of having tried." Fools.
And when I see how you vote, I laugh at your willful, carefully maintained ignorance. You think your angry desert god cares about minutia about health insurance for homosexuals. You fools need to wake up. The desert god not only doesn't care about that, he cares about little else except showering powerful and abusive predators with divine blessings while sending tornadoes to strike down your double-wide trailers. I laugh at you. I loathe you. Your willful weakness disgusts me.
Have an ounce of strength, cowards. If you're going to hate, have the honesty to say "I hate you". Don't cower behind a book of old stories and then say "God told me to hate you."
And of your "bible", let me point this out: that book has been translated so many times that I wonder how anyone can know what was originally written? Show me the museum or archive that has the "original" documents. Show me the birth certificate for Jesus Christ. And, you fools may not realize, "Christ" is not his last name.
Your "bible" is the politically motivated, highly edited compilation from a bunch of old white men. It was put together long after the execution of Jesus. No live witness had any input into the "bible" you read. It is not a book in which the angry desert god wrote by hand so that His Way Bookstore could make copies. Christianity is a made-up religion -- as is EVERY religion.
If you Christians insist on wallowing in weakness, then stay out of my way. But don't thrust your weakness and your fear and your hate down our throats by use of the ballot box. There will be revenge. There will be a reckoning. And I can tell you exactly HOW it shall be. The day will not be long off -- perhaps only a few decades -- when your Christian religion is no longer the dominant faith. Then there will be a ballot initiative to amend the Constitution to strip the churches of their tax-free status. After all, what is the Christian church by an arm of the Republican party? When you fools have to pay taxes, you will be crushed financially. I await that day with anticipation. And you all will have deserved it.
I have no use for you bigoted, stupid, willfully-weak fundamentalist Christians who use politics to achieve what your message cannot.
You wonder why Christianity doesn't appeal to the modern youth? Because they're smart. they figured out that your notion of "sin" and "redemption" doesn't make sense. They figured out that it's more important to not hurt people and it's important to make amends for misdeeds. I spit in your face when you people say "I've harmed my neighbor, but it's okay to do so because Jesus forgives. It's okay to do whatever I want because Jesus forgives." That's not a moral code. That's a virulent piece of sociopathology. You Christians justify hate, bigotry, murder, theft, and even genocide in the name of your angry desert god. You have no morals. You are weak and stupid.
You Christians will pay for what you did in California and other states. And I will rejoice when the "for sale" signs go up on the churches one by one as your numbers dwindle and your tax-free charters are revoked. Christianity deserves to become a half-forgotten cult.
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( 3 / 1405 )Friday, October 31, 2008, 12:22 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
Today is the Samhain sabbat in the Wiccan calendar. It is the end of one year and the beginning of another. It is the third harvest (apples and pumpkins). It is the day when the Veil that separates the physical world from the spirit world is at its thinnest. It is a day to remember loved ones who have recently passed from this world into the Summerland. And so, on this day, there is a friend I remember.
I did not know Jewel for a very long time before she died. But sometimes it's possible to care for someone deeply without having to know that person for years. Maybe I knew her in a different life. I don't know. But I can say that Jewel had a kind of spirit that just shown with a warm, bright intensity that few others had. The brief time I knew her, she made a profoundly positive difference in my life. She just simply loved others unconditionally. She died of a brain tumor on February 10, 2008.
Her mother died five months after Jewel crossed the Veil. She could not live with the loss. She didn't commit suicide, nor did she have any long-term disease. She just simply died. theoretically it was heart failure, but I think she didn't want to be in this world without her daughter. They are together now.
I miss my friend. It's difficult for me to develop friendships. I am a strange and heavily damaged individual. Few can accept me as I am, as we are. But Jewel could. I miss her. But it's better that she is no longer being eaten by a terrible and incurable disease. She spead a lot of love and happiness in her brief incarnation. May she have peace and rest in the Summerland. May she be truly blessed in her next life.
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( 3 / 1532 )Sunday, October 26, 2008, 07:48 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
It occurs to me that I'm getting pretty tired of the Religious Reich claiming "deeply held religious beliefs" as an excuse to hate gays and for pushing punitive laws down our throats. I was pretty angry about this and I finally found a deeper reason WHY I'm so angry at the Religious Reich.
It's bad enough that they use Jesus as a tool for hating people different than them. One even cited that hating gays was an innate "truth" of Christianity, despite the fact that Jesus never addressed the topic of same-sex unions but DID tell people that the primary commandment was to love God and love each other.
Well, in my faith (Wicca), homosexuality is NOT a sin. In my religion, it is perfectly acceptable for a man and a woman to marry, two men to marry, or two women to marry. The only qualifier is that they must love one another. My deeply held religious belief is that love is better than hate and courage is better than fear. In Wicca, we are told to have perfect love and perfect trust; to live and let live; to fairly take and fairly give.
Sounds simple, right?
I believe that my deeply held religious beliefs have just as much validity as those on the Far Right. Why should Wicca be considered an inferior religion in comparison to Christianity?
See... that's the reason why the Founding Fathers designed our government to be a secular republic and not a theocratic oligarchy. It's the government's job to print the money, secure the borders, enforce public safety laws, and maintain a military. It is NOT the government's job to say whose deeply held religious beliefs are valid and whose aren't. It's NOT the government's job to legislate who can love and who cannot.
It doesn't bother me when someone else's religious beliefs run counter to mine. It's a free country. But it bothers me quite a bit when someone uses their religion to write laws that have the effect of kicking me in the crotch. That's not a republic; that's a theocracy. And that, my friends, is why Sarah Palin and her Religious Reich allies are un-American.
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( 3 / 1559 )Monday, October 20, 2008, 07:50 PM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
So... Doug, Jeff, Ritchie, and Jeff got to do one of my favorite pastimes yesterday: playing my role-playing game! The heroes were once again charged with defending the town of Raindrop Fair from bloodthirsty outlaws. This time, it was from a nefarious assassination cult called "Murder Incorporated". Yeah, I wonder if they were fully incorporated or just an S-Corp.
The heroes had to face a darkened stone maze filled with booby traps of all kinds. Then there was a fight against an evil janitor that had an enchanted mop that shot streams of highly corrosive acid. Then there was a platoon of ultra-thugs that had poison daggers and grenades. They faced a giant sentry robot but managed to trick it into letting them pass (clever, since that thing is tough!) Finally, they fought a giant rat that was the size of a horse (and the rat had six legs too!)
All that was to reach the inner sanctum of Murder Incorporated. Next week they get to fight the actual assassins, heh heh.
Doug has a Gunslinger based on Annie Oakley (from the musical!) Jeff is playing an incredibly heavy-handed self-righteous Protector. Richie has a mentalist/thief that also serves as chief of Raindrop Fair's secret police. All in all, it's a pretty useful trio of unique personalities. Cool! I'm really glad that Doug and my friends like my game. I wrote it from scratch 13 years ago.
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( 3 / 1553 )Friday, July 11, 2008, 09:06 AM - Church Stuff
Indigo Incarnates
I've been on the Wiccan path for five months as of today. That also means I've been a vegetarian and booze-free for five months. My body, mind, and spirit feel better. Too much meat slows down the body, too much alcohol clouds the mind, and praying to an unloving god tortures the spirit. So, my diet is much better and I pray to a deity that loves me back. Things are good!
The amazing thing I've found is that when I pray to the Mother Goddess, I really do feel loved. When I used to pray to YHVH, I always felt like a wretched, unwanted creature. But the Goddess does love. The Goddess is immanent as well as transcendent (ie, she is real unto herself and also has presence in all living things everywhere.) I think the "immanent" part is how it is possible to commune when I pray. It is wonderful to be loved and accepted. It is wonderful to know that I was created as a good entity, not as some filthy wretched "sinner". The choice to do good or evil is mine, and I choose to do good. There is freedom in Wicca to choose to do the right thing. For in this faith, it's not a matter of "sinning" or "not sinning", it's whether you've helped or harmed. I choose to not harm, so that is a good thing. That helps me be in harmony with the Goddess. I am glad.
It's nice to feel loved. Blessed Be.
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( 3 / 1659 )Monday, April 21, 2008, 02:46 PM - Church Stuff
Well, yesterday was a pretty interfaith kind of day. I sung in church choir. Doug and I attended a Passover rite at a friend's house. I also got to do a full moon meditation (for Wicca). So I got to approach deity from three different traditions. Nice!
My Wicca 101 class starts this Saturday (April 26th). Doug's confirmation service in the Episcopal church is May 10th. Cool.
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( 3.1 / 1567 )Sunday, March 23, 2008, 04:22 PM - Church Stuff
Well... I'll get to the heavy stuff first, and then write about the fun stuff.
I was at the Easter Service this morning and I suddenly felt absolutely consumed with rage (a sign that Ashen is about to manifest). It was unexpected, since he usually only manifests when I am facing a direct physical threat. Well, he didn't take the foreground, but instead remained active for a while but in the background. He had a rather curious thought about God (he had previously never offered his opinion on the matter).
Ashen's opinion on God is this: What if the crucifixion of Christ wasn't about reconciling man to God, but instead reconciling God to man? Consider this for a moment. In the Old Testament, God is this omnipotent, omniscient "father" figure. And how does he manage his role? He commits genocide on several occasions. He strikes down newborn infants whose only "crime" is to be born to Egyptian parents. He tells his worshippers "I know you're imperfect, and yet I demand that you BE perfect. And if you disobey me, I'll kill you". And does. Again and again, for centuries.
How would we view an eartly mother or father who would banish, disown, or expel their children for acts of rebellion? How do we view parents who make up rules for their children that are so strict that they cannot possibly be fulfilled? How would we treat an earthly mother or father who slew their children for trivial acts of disobedience?
Such parents are, rightly so, viewed as abarrations and monsters. And yet we view God as a "loving father" despite the fact that He threatens to (and often has) killed people for even thr most trivial of moral failings. How is that "loving"? How is that "good" or "just"? If God knows we are flawed at the moment of our creation, then how can we be blamed for having flaws? God made us, so if God wanted perfection, he should have made perfection.
So, then Jesus came and declared that God really DID love the people he created. He loved us so much that he sacrificed his physical incarnation on our behalf. The random acts of capricious diefic revenge stopped.
But... who was reconciled to who? I used to think I knew the answer. No I'm not sure.
Either way, it does not diminish the sacrifice that Jesus made. I'm just happy for the fact that God no longer hates mankind.
-----------------
Now... for the happier stuff.
The Ostara High Rite was really fun and festive last night. It was an outdoor service that had lots of drumming, chanting, singing, and dancing. There was a big fire to keep us warm, and there were all kinds of torches and candles about. Most of the congregation had really neat ceremonial robes with Celtic knotwork all over. Everyone seemed happy and they made me feel very welcome. The neat thing is that the Pagans don't mind Christians at all. Since they're sort of polytheistic, they view the Christian God as just one more viable way to worship the divine. That's really nice. :)
After the Rite, there was a nice litte party with vegetatarian food and snacks. the funny thing was that almost everyone in the congregation (about 20 people) is a veggy and almost everyone also smokes cigarattes! Who would have thought that vegetarians are smokers?! Hee hee hee!
This morning, the Easter service went really well at church. I think I only missed 2 or 3 notes the whole time. I felt pretty well integrated for most of the service. Halo was sleeping (and he needed the rest). Willow came out briefly during the postlude. He likes to stand next to the huge organ pipes and feel the vibrations. And Doug came to the 11:15AM service. It was really fun!
Oh... and Thistle got to fly for a while today too. That's always a good thing. :)
Happy Easter, friends, and Blessed Be! :)
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( 2.9 / 1304 )Sunday, March 2, 2008, 06:07 PM - Church Stuff
We have this new associate rector at church that seems like one of the nicest priests I've met in many yeaars. He's also a vegetarian. He's pretty young and has a groovy gotee beard. He goes by "Nick" instead of "Reverend Szobota". He seems like he really is satisfied with his calling too.
The great thing about being a changeling is that we can know souls, and I had a very positive read from him the very first time I met him face-to-face (which was a few weeks ago).
So today I got to hear him preach. He really is gifted by God with the ability to use words for healing. It was the most life-affirming, loving ten minutes of preaching I've ever heard uttered in Saint John's Church. The sermon spoke of how mankind hold some people in contempt for their percieved deficiencies (like the blind beggar in the Gospels). But in truth, God loves those that man does not or will not. God loves people who are different, damaged, and wounded. God loves those that man judges to be unwhole or incomplete. And God loves those who He has created, and that love never stops -- ever.
I wish I could write here the exact words he used, for my retelling does not do it justice. Nick is blessed in a way that few people who claim to lead in Christ actually are.
The impact that the sermon had on me was pretty profound. It reaffrimed that fact the God loves me even though I'm gay. His words reaffirmed that I'm a whole and loved creature even though I'm a changeling and not human; God made me to be what I am and thus I am loved as I am. Even when society may judge me as damaged and treat me as unwanted or defective, God loves me a complete, whole, competent, lovingly created entity. And God loves Thistle, Ashen, Willow, and even Halo, for none of use would exist without God having made us.
It really gave me hope that not all who lead in Christ are cold-hearted fundamentalists, but that the Holy Spirit still acts in the lives of those who want to forgive and love and heal.
Blessed Be.
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( 2.9 / 1414 )Wednesday, February 27, 2008, 07:53 AM - Church Stuff
Y'know... choir just isn't that much fun this close to a major Christian holiday. We have more music to practice and the Choir Master gets really stressed out. Unfortunately, changelings tend to internalize the emotions of others, so we got stressed out too. That made us make more mistakes than we would ordinarily make. And that made the Choir Master more stressed out because we kept having to repeat sections of music that should have been easy. It ended up being a self-sustaining cycle that resulted in me being pretty much useless for last night's choir practice. Palm Sunday and Easter are next month and once it's done, things will go back to normal at choir... until Christmas, that is. I just hate the feeling of having let my friends down, but I couldn't do anything about it.
Doug and I went to the second of four Lenten Dinners at church before choir last night, and that was nice. They actually served all-vegetarian food, which means I could actually eat the food! Yay!!! And I got to meet with the recruiter for the Education for Ministry program. I might be able to take the EFM class this fall if I can scrape up the tuition money. This isn't a seminary course, but it is a pretty detailed bit of study on historical Christianity (as opposed to the diseased modern-day variant it has become -- ie. prior to Christianity being secunded to the Republican party). So I think I might like that course.
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( 3 / 1222 )Sunday, February 24, 2008, 08:26 PM - Church Stuff
I think this was our last Evensong service for the Lent season. It was really nice. We trundled off to Fairhaven Church over in Sykesvile to do the service there. The church serves a retirement community and the people there were really happy to see us! It was really nice being able to make so many people happy at once. :) And doing so made me happy too. Isn't life great? :)
The weather was perfect too. It was sunny, breezy, and not too cold. Thistle got to fly for about ten minutes before we had to go inside for the church service. He was able to recapture all of the energy we lost from having three overcast days and one day of no sleep (which was Friday night). It is wonderful when Thistle flies. One of my friends in choir can sense his presence, which is nice. She likes Thistle and isn't afraid of him. I think she noticed that he was flying this morning. Neat!
So... the service went great. Our singing was really good. And there was a reception afterward that featured cheese and wine (I didn't drink any booze, since we had to drive.)
All in all, it was a great day. You can't beat being able to spend time with friends while making other people happy at the same time.
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