Incommunicado 
Monday, November 17, 2008, 07:23 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

Well, my web hosting service has been down for two days, so I had no email access and my website was down. Oh well. It sucked. But I make backups of everything that I can make backups of.

The changeling effect burned out yet another cell phone this past week. The "changeling effect" is the effect I cause on electronics when I get emotionally agitated. If I'm really angry or really upset (usually rage, not sorrow does this), electronics tend to burn out. That's why it's no use wearing a watch. So I was really pissed off about Prop-8 and I was pissed off about my loathsome uncle, and I was talking on the phone with Java and the phone went "zzt...pzzzt.. zzt..." and that was it for the phone.

It's not the first time this has happened.

I also can't seem to keep a wireless router working or compact fluorescent tubes. Or MP3 players.

Oh... Carol wanted to know some of our favorite songs:

Indigo: "In Your Eyes", Peter Gabriel. (the live version from Secret World)

Thistle: "Platform Cloud", Flowchart.

Halo: "The Celebration of the Lizard", The Doors

Ashen: "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap", AC/DC

Willow: "Oro", Morira




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Free Advice for Microsoft 
Saturday, November 1, 2008, 09:26 AM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

I read recently that Microsoft is getting ready to unleash a newer version of Windows in early 2010. Of course, the first thing I thought was, "but wait, Microsoft hasn't fixed Vista yet!" Apparently it's never going to be fixed. Customers are going to be expected to simply buy new computers and a new OS 18 months from now. Nice!

Well, I regret not buying a Mac every time I turn my computer on. But, I'll throw in my two cents worth for how I think the next Microsoft OS should be.

-- It needs to be faster. That is a huge gripe all by itself. There is no reason why a computer with a 2.2 GHz processor (on Vista) should run as slow as a 900 MHz processor (on WinXP).

-- It needs to be more stable. Currently, I don't actually have any software applications that run better in Vista than they did in WinXP. And there is no excuse for Internet Explorer to crash as often as it does, considering that it was designed by Microsoft specifically for Vista. Microsoft really needs to figure out how Vista got released with such sloppy code.

-- It needs a special "compatibility" window. Considering that almost NONE of my older applications run in Vista, I think the next version needs to have Microsoft Virtual Machine integrated into the OS so that folks with older applications can access them in a separately-run window.

-- Get rid of the "paranoia" prompts. In Vista, every time it launches a dialogue box for user input regarding even the most trivial changes to the system, the user gets treated to: "bloop"... black screen... wait wait wait wait wait... "bloop"... greyscale screen... "Are you sure you really want to do this?"... black screen... wait wait wait wait wait wait. Done. This is REALLY annoying.

-- Make it a LOT less expensive. Asking $200 for the crippled version of Vista (Home Premium) and over $400 for the real version (Ultimate) is a crock. Bill Gates might be a billionaire, but most folks aren't. (Side note: I would have gladly upgraded to Office 2007 Professional if the $379 price tag hadn't been in the way. Think in the $150 range next time!)

-- Make it easier to set up dual-boot. There may be a way to put WinXP and Vista on the same machine already, but I haven't figured it out. The next version of the OS should have an optionally activated "boot console" for allowing users to choose from various installed operating systems (ie. Windows-7, WinXP, command prompts, ancient DOS for those vintage video games). Mac has had this for years.

Personally, I don't see any of these changes being made, since I'm pretty pessimistic about Microsoft. My prediction is that the next OS will require 64 Gb RAM, an 800 Gb hard drive, an Intel QuadCore processor array running at 4.5 Ghz, and a 512 Mb nVidia chipset. That will, of course, be the *minimum*. To run the OS correctly, simply triple these estimates. Oh, and it'll still run like a 900 MHz Celeron.


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Native Indian Heritage Day 
Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 08:39 AM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

The interesting thing in Maryland this year is that the day after Thanksgiving has now been declared American Indian Heritage Day. I think it's a good thing, since it's good for white people to be reminded that the Thanksgiving feast the Native Americans helped provide for the colonists was repaid with betrayal and genocide.

When I think of how people of my ancestry conducted themselves, I feel ashamed. North America is a *very large* land mass. There is no reason whatsoever that Europeans and Native Americans could not have shared the land, shared the resources, shared culture, and shared knowledge. Instead, the settlers traded food from the Indians and in exchange gave them clothing and blankets that were purposefully contaminated with small pox. The white government conquered and subdued the Indians through the use of superior firepower and sheer manpower. And, considering that the Europeans came to America seeking religious freedom, they organized a campaign to wipe out the Native American religious practices as well as their culture.

Fast forward four hundred years.

The Religious Reich hasn't changed one bit. They still like it when misunderstood minorities die in huge numbers (remember how the Religious Right danced a jig when AIDS wiped out a big chunk of the gay population in the late 1980s?) They still make laws to punish people of different religions (it's still illegal to practice Wicca in some areas of the country, despite the 1st Amendment!) I guarantee that the Religious Reich would have no moral opposition to the government setting up death-reservations to exterminate gays (if only their elected officials would agree to do what is "right" for the sake of their "truth").

So, at least in Maryland, the white folks' betrayal of the Native Americans is thrown in their descendants' faces now. I think that's a good thing.

If I had a time machine and a universal translator (ala Star Trek), I'd warn off the native tribes. I'd tell them that it's really in their best interest to avoid the people who worship two perpendicular sticks because they are actually thieves and genocidal maniacs. People with a five-pointed star, on the other hand, are not thieves and aren't genocidal maniacs. If enough of the Religious Reich had been starved out in the early days of colonization, things might have been VERY different for this nation.


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Disconnected from reality 
Friday, October 24, 2008, 01:12 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

Y'know... I thought that the McCain/Palin team couldn't get much more disconnected from reality than they already are. But I was wrong! The past two weeks have just been dizzying in their defiance of common sense.

Tell me: What was Palin thinking about when she bought $150,000 worth of clothes 13 days before the general election. That's twice what Doug and I paid for our friggin' HOUSE. What kind of wardrobe costs $150k? Is she going to write it off on her taxes as a "business expense", and thus make us taxpayers foot the bill for her wastefulness? How can somebody who claims to have "mainstream conservative values" blow in one day what it takes me five years to earn (before taxes)?! This is someone who obviously has no clue about how the average American has to scrimp and budget in these days of high inflation and stagnant income. And yet she thinks she's somehow representative of America because she knows how to shoot a moose.

Speaking of wildlife, Palin also thinks that "285" isn't a "small number" when referring to the population of Beluga whales. That's right: she fought tooth and nail to keep Beluga whales off the endangered species list despite the fact that they have been hunted to near-extinction. She was overruled, thankfully. But I can't help but to think that since she is a hard-core Creationist who thinks the world is only 6,000 years old, she can sort of pretend that Beluga whales never existed if they go extinct. After all, dinosaurs are extinct and she doesn't believe in them either.

Another departure from reality is how she instituted a policy in Alaska that rape victims have to *pay* for the forensic kits. That is just so harsh as to simply boggle the mind. But then, this is the same person who wants to deny rape victims the right to abortion if she is impregnated as a result of the rape. Palin obviously thinks it's fair that a rape victim be forced to carry a rapist's baby to full term. Once the baby is born, of course, the rapist has full legal right to visitation and can even sue to get full custody of the child and then ask for child support from the rape victim for raising the child! Unbelievable.

Oh, and the "family values" VP wants to undo all the gay marriages and civil unions in this country. That would be quickly followed up by nullifying all adoptions done by same-sex couples. She really does think gay people are inherently evil. I wonder how she'll be on separation of Church and State? I wonder how she'll be on civil rights? How will her treatment of other minorities be? She obviously thinks gays are evil, and she doesn't think much of people who aren't tongue-speaking fundamentalist Christians.

And, of course, there's John "Nine Mansions" McCain with his Wall Street Bailout Bonanza. It amazes me that the guy who claimed to be a fiscal conservative had no problem signing on to a piece of legislation that forked over nearly a trillion dollars to foolhardy speculators. And yet, the bailout did not provision one single penny for stabilizing shaky mortgages. So there are thousands of people every month who continue to lose their homes while millionaire bankers get a huge bailout check. Maybe McCain doesn't know that most citizens don't own nine mansions. Maybe he thinks that if one mansion gets foreclosed, the average citizen still has eight more mansions in reserve. Who knows? But what he seems to not understand is that most households are barely hanging on to the single (non-mansion) home they do have in the face of spiraling food, fuel, medical, and education costs that have completely outstripped any income growth this country has seen lately.

McCain is also a big fan of taxing health insurance. I guess he thinks the average American can afford an extra $50-$80/month in new taxes.

I realize that most Republicans who want to vote for McCain are doing so because they fear gays, that they think Bush was sent by God to lead our country, and that McCain will continue the Bush doctrine. But the American people really need to start thinking in terms of self-preservation. Yes, Obama isn't going to clamp down on homosexuals (sorry to the Religious Reich), but he's also less likely to keep sending our country down the path of absolute ruin (as the Bush doctrine has done).

With McCain/Palin, you get Bush-III (McCain) and an uber-bigot (Palin). McCain is just like Bush, but older and with a lousy temper. I think Palin is so far "out there" that she's from another planet!


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Friday & Saturday Stuff 
Saturday, October 18, 2008, 03:12 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

I started getting my case load this week. I now had 12 ne'er-do-wells under my direct supervision. I've got one burglar, two drunks, and eight junkies and a dope dealer. Ironically, the dope dealer is the only one with a legitimate job too. Eventually my case load will be built up to the 60-70 range. But I am very glad that I'm not in the violent offenders unit. Most of my cases are going to be junkie bums, drunk drivers, and dope dealers.

Doug and I did our usual Saturday morning pancake breakfast at First Watch. The pancakes are huge and the food is pretty inexpensive. Yay!

It was really sunny today and windy. Thistle got to fly for a while. It's good for him to have energy. It will be a shame when the skies grow dark with the upcoming winter. Halo doesn't mind the dark, but it's hard for Thistle (and me too!) Thistle likes the music written by a recording artist named Hae. I'm not sure what Doug thought of it, however, heh heh.

I did a prayer ritual for my mom today. She is very ill and doesn't have a lot of time left. The last time I talked with her, she said she was in pain almost all the time and that she was just getting worn down from being in and out of the hospital all the time. She's down to 81 pounds. She told me she wanted me to remember her how she was when she was healthy. I wish that she was not in pain. I don't want her to go, but I know that it'll be time soon. I hope the cigarette company executives get reincarnated as laboratory rats in their next life.

I went to the gym and did a good workout. The body weighs 182 pounds. I try to stay healthy because I never want to be a burden to Doug.

Oh... I also found out from mom that my bogus sister (Jenny) is basically acting like a teenage slut. She's 36 years old but has been sleeping around town with a seemingly endless string of 20-25-year-old young men. She's still married (but separated) but I imagine she was cheating on her husband long before she moved back to Altoona. Maybe that's also why her finances are so bad: keeping an array of boy-toys happy can get pretty expensive quickly. She didn't put her 16-year-old daughter back in school in Altoona either. She told the school board she is being "home schooled". Yeah, right. Alli (the daughter) has mostly been helping to take care of my mom while Jenny is out whoring around. But she hasn't been schooled at all lately. I find it amazing that Jenny and I actually have the same parents.

Jenny doesn't like to pay bills. She has close to $70,000 in credit card debt and she currently has no income (she ought to become a prostitute, since then she'd be getting cash for her favorite activity). She's declared bankruptcy twice. She also embezzled money from my grandmother (when my grandmother was still alive). By contrast, I have only ONE credit card ($2,100 balance) but I also have $1,900 in a CD, so I'm technically only $200 in debt. Gee... I live within my means. What a concept. When I got my raise, I added $50/month more into automatic retirement savings.

So... that's what's going on this weekend. Whoo-hoo!


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The Dark Time of Year 
Friday, October 10, 2008, 08:18 AM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

Egads! The "dark" time of year is pretty much at hand. It's pitch black when I get up in the morning and the sun is just crossing the horizon by the time I get to work. My energy level goes way down and I'm a lot more prone to depression when I can't get enough sunlight. Changelings need sunlight. It's going to really be distressing when the clocks change for daylight savings time (an antiquated practice that I wish would be abandoned). The practice of adjusting the clocks by an hour has the effect of making it be dark at 5:00pm. Once that happens, I basically won't see the sun again until spring since my office has no windows, I arrive for work pretty early, and I get off at 4:30pm. By the time I get home, it will be dark. I'm really not looking forward to that. I've survived it every other year and I'm sure this year won't be any different. But that doesn't mean I like it.

My mom's health continues to deteriorate. She's down to 90 pounds. I feel really sad for her, since she spent almost 40 years having an alcohol problem and being a heavy smoker. About two years ago she went to detox and quit alcohol and got her smoking down to about a pack per week. The damage was done, however. And then Uncle Jimmy did a bunch of unsafe home improvements that had the net effect of being the straw that broke the camel's back. All the dust and mold from his cheap/shoddy demolition/reconstruction pushed mom's lung condition from "dangerous" to "terminal". So mom won't get to enjoy sobriety very long. I really feel sad about this because I love her very much. It always seems that rich psychopaths get whatever they want, whenever they want it, and never have to face repercussions for what they have done. I wish that Uncle Jimmy would have to pay for what he's done, but he never will. He follows YHVH, and the angry desert god rewards the strong, the rich, and the cruel.

I start getting my own cases on Tuesday. I am glad that my office is away from the rest of the Case Agents here. I won't get easily sucked into the office politics or the tangled web of gossip and drama. I think most of my coworkers are kinda phoney anyway. After all, not one single person will own up to making an anonymous complaint about my Tree of Life, but one of them must have for me to so quickly have been ordered to take it down. I'm not going to make a retaliatory complaint, since the various Christian sloganeering in their offices don't actually offend me and I don't spend much time in their offices. But it does bother me that I am the subject of a double standard and that someone finds Wicca "offensive". Well, there has never been a "holy" war instigated by Wiccans, and no Wiccan has ever burned a Christian at the stake. so whose faith is "offensive"?


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Attack of the Killer Bees (or "B's"?) 
Tuesday, July 1, 2008, 04:06 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

In this case, I should write "Attack of the Killer Bs", as in B-movies, har har. I've been watching some of the new Netflix "Instant View" films that got uploaded to their server and -- wow -- did they digitize some real dogs! Fortunately, I'm a big fan of cheesy movies. Looking for some "Killer B's"? Look no further!

Dreamland: A young couple should have had their used car purchase checked out on CarFAX first, since they would have known that the major problem with the vehicle was that it was possessed by Adolph Hitler! Yes indeed, the 2-ton V8 gas guzzler was not powered by Premium Unleaded, but rather the Furhur. So the car tries to run the couple over when they get out to check the oil. Then they get chased into the desert where they run into Creepy Glowing Eye Girl and Creepy Undead Soldier Dude. Why? Who knows? But if your car's radio ever gets stuck playing the Nazi National Anthem, it might be time to junk it before it's too late.

Dark Moon Rising: In the redneck town of Louisville (KY? Not sure, they didn't say), strange things are afoot at the car rental agency. A zombie businessman shuffles into the office and bites some of the customers, turning them into zombies too! Who can save they day? The gay, vegetarian car clerk, of course! Wielding a baseball bat and a belt-fed machine gun, our heroic homosexual teams up with Butch Lesbian Chick (wielding a machete and a shotgun) to rid the town of the walking dead. Oh, the zombies also don't like air freshener or Lysol. And they keep tripping over discarded luggage again and again. When one of the zombies tears apart some dude's rental car, our brave hero declares, "I guess you should have opted for that $4.99/day comprehensive insurance, eh?"

Dead and Deader: A soldier gets bit by a radioactive spider in Cambodia and turns into a half-zombie, while the rest of his unit turns into full-fledged flesh-eating Undead. With his trusty sidekick (the cook, who isn't Undead), they hack and slash their way to gory glory! How does someone become a "half-zombie"? Why was he sorta-spared while his companions became crazed flesh-eaters? And why was there some creepy scientist who thought he could somehow turn zombification into the fountain of youth? Who knows? I always figured that being "a little bit zombie" was like being a "little bit" pregnant, ha ha ha. At the end of the movie, amidst the smoking, reeking carnage, our hero states, "Being dead really makes me appreciate life!" Ha ha ha!

Today wasn't too bad at work either. I got a burglar arrested on an open warrant. I didn't get stuck training trainees. the useless Training Coordinator didn't nag me about anything. My Wiccan ceremonial robe came today and is over at the post office for me to pick up. Yay! Just in time for visiting my friend Doris tomorrow. She has two Wiccan kids, so we'll have something in common already!


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Not super-lucky 
Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 09:33 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

I won't call it a "bad" day, since nothing really bad happened. I will say it wasn't the luckiest day I ever had, however. I got stuck with training three new trainees at work on a really busy day. We have a Training Coordinator who seems to do basically nothing, since the Investigation unit always ends up doing all of the new-hire training. The Coordinator mostly sits in her office and/or comes out and barks orders. That's pretty much what she did today. Yowza.

I lost energy for a little while today, but Halo was able to incarnate for half an hour. That time was enough for me to regain enough energy to incarnate the rest of my duty shift. One of my coworkers is psychic and she can see when other people incarnate, so she noticed Halo. Fortunately, it doesn't seem like anyone else did.

So... I totally hate my T-Mobile phone but I can't upgrade until December. I have a spare Cingular phone that I like, but they won't give me the subsidy unlock code. To add insult to injury, they made me wait a WEEK to tell me they wouldn't do it. Yes, they cited a one-week waiting period for the code. At the end of the week, I called back and the person said that my request had been refused. And they wonder why AT&T/Cingular scored rock bottom for customer service?

My "Bush Bribery Check" came and I put it in the bank (btw... the $600 isn't going to make me vote Republican -- now or ever), so I wanted to get a new stereo for my 2001 Accord. Alas, Circuit City can't adapt a new stereo to a really old car. ::blech:: I wanted an iPod dock for the car. I guess that's not going to happen. Well, I'm planning on buying a hybrid in 2011 anyway. Heck with it.

On the bright side, I DID get to have a nice dinner with my beloved partner, Doug. And it's looking like I might be able to visit my friend Doris for a few days next month. Oh, and I've been given a "Blog With A Purpose" award by San. Yay!!!

So, it's not ALL bad luck today :)

And hey, the great thing about Wicca is that we don't have YHVH slamming our heads against rocks for His own amusement. In Wicca, sometimes "shit happens", heh heh.



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Really Busy 
Tuesday, May 27, 2008, 05:26 PM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

It was really busy at work today. Of course, since the courthouse was closed yesterday for the Memorial Day holiday, we had twice as many junkie bums awaiting pretrial release processing. Egads! Can't the thugs stop committing crimes when we're off-duty?!

One of the "clients" was a realy winner. He was collecting disability income but he didn't know what his disability was. When questioned, he replied, "Dey is gimmie a check each mumph!" Yeah. If you can't cite why you're getting SSDI, you *shouldn't* be getting it Of course, he mostly spends his income on lottery tickets and marijuana. He mooches off him mom full-time. ::sigh:: If you're wondering why Social Security is in trouble, it's because there are too many people collecting from it who have never paid into it.

The other busy part of my life for the past few days has been trying to get the house cleaned up for when my friend from South Carolina arrives. As much as I love Doug, he doesn't really help out with housework very much at all. And I'm not very efficient at housekeeping. Doug doesn't care if the house is messy; I *do* care, but I have a great deal of difficulty staying focused long enough to o it. Long story short: our house is always a disaster My friend is coming. I've cleaned for three days and the house is still messy. Egads. I'm worried that she's going to freak out. I hope she doesn't.

Well... that's it for now!


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Compromise 
Tuesday, May 6, 2008, 06:21 AM - Random Thoughts
Indigo Incarnates

Halo used his diabetic lancelet to cut yesterday and drew only a single drop of blood. That worked for him. That compromise worked, since he gets to have his release and yet the body is not put at risk. This is a good thing. I don't know why inflicting self-injury makes this system feel better afterwards, but it does. At least now there's no chance of accidently causing serious injury. I can't even see the pinprick this morning.

I had a friend cancel out on going to Six Flags when my friend found out we were going only with each other and not with a group. I am such a freak.It was unfair to ask in the first place. Who in their right mid would want to spend quality time with a mentally ill, self-injurious dissociative, homosexual witch? I don't have many friends, and none of them feel safe around me one-on-one. I'm a broken, damaged, shell of a person. It's no wonder I'm shunned.I hate myself too.



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