Wednesday, March 29, 2006, 07:12 PM - Stupid Criminals
Yes, indeed! I've had some real "model citizens" at work lately. But there is a *special* class of crook that I call "Buck Rogers" criminals. Why? Because they have so many charges listed against them that they would have to live to be 500 years old to serve out their sentences!
Here are my favorite "Buck Rogers" losers.
--:: A 21-year-old punk who decided to mug some guy who *used* to be his friend years ago (but had fallen out over the years). Thg victim had a whopping $5 in his wallet and no credit cards. So the felon stabbed his ex-friend in the neck with a switchblade. Amazingly, the victim survived (w/40 stitches in his neck!) Estimated maximum penalty for all six charges related to this incident: 76 years.
--:: An idiot 16-year-old decided to rob the pizza man at gunpoint -- right as the pizza man made the delivery to the house! The teen also stole the delivery man's car and cash bag ($42.00!) He also left the front door to his house open as he sped away in the stolen car. The pizza man walked into the house and called the cops (and probably ate the pizza,
too!) Total penalty: 165 years.
At least in law enforcement, the customer is always WRONG!
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( 3 / 1316 )Friday, March 3, 2006, 08:15 AM - Stupid Criminals
Lemme tell ya: I *know* what it's like to be poor, desperate, and hungry. But not once in my life have I ever begged. I've worked two jobs, done odd jobs, and sold personal possessions when I've been broke. But I've *never* begged.
The reason I bring this up is that the inner harbor area of Baltimore has become something of a beggar's paradise. On my four-block walk from the parking garage to the courthouse, I get accosted by beggars at least once every day, and sometimes two or three times! They shamble up and make some incoherent entreaty for cash. And they don't want just spare change anymore. They want fivers!
Well, let me tell you about the "plight" of the homeless.l've been working at Pretrial services for three months now and *every* homeless defendant has had these factors in common: they are high school dropouts; they are heroin/cocaine junkies; they have lengthy criminal histories for assault, burglary, and drugs; they have no interest in getting off drugs; they have no interest in seeking employment.
I don't feel sorry for them. I won't give them a penny because I know they'll just use it for smack or blow. These wrecks of humanity just make me sick!
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( 3 / 1249 )Monday, February 13, 2006, 07:50 PM - Stupid Criminals
It's never a dull day at the Department of Pre-Trial Release!
You'd dig the brain-dead moron I had to interview today. He had been arrested for "Unauthorized Use (motor vehicle)". The reason why it wasn't listed as actual car theft is because his friend *had* given him permission to borrow the car for the weekend. But that was five years ago! Ha ha ha!
So the reason why the cops had such a hard time tracking this guy down is because there is *nothing* in his name. He basically sponges off his girlfriend and doesn't work.
When he was finally caught and was asked why he never returned his friend's car, all he had to say for himself was, "Uh... I forgot!"
Man, how'd you like *that* guy for a friend?!
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